owns Page 213 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Last Night's Winner: Look At This Goddamn <em>New York Post</em> Cover
Just look at it. Have you ever seen anything so amazing in your life?...

Police Called To Bill Simmons's Home For Burglary Only To Find Mighty Mighty Bosstone In Socks
If not for a podcast of four lesser-known comedians, the world probably would have never heard about the absurd Keystone Coppery that went down during a recent football Sunday at the Sports Guy's manse. Follow along with the audio, courtesy Megaboom....

Brent Musburger, Shilling For Tortilla Chips Since 2002
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Confusion Over Garza-Benoit Confusion Finally Resolved
So the Chicago Sun-Times wasn't the only paper to mix up Matt Garza and Joaquín Benoit. The Daily Herald made the same mistake. But don't blame the papers. The error originated with a bad cutline from a wire photographer. Asshole....

<em>Chicago Sun-Times</em> Mixes Up Its Latino Baseball Players
The Cubs on Friday traded for Tampa Bay pitcher Matt Garza. Apparently, this confused the Chicago Sun-Times, which slapped a full-page photo on its back cover of...Joaquín Benoit. Both pitchers are right-handed. Both have facial hair. Let's stop there....

Dan Shaughnessy Is Awful
I'd be remiss if I didn't point out this execrable column from Dan Shaughnessy that ran on SI's website earlier this week, and is yet another triumph of idiotic Boston provincialism....

Clarification: Ron Franklin Called Jeannine Edwards "Sweet Baby," Not "Sweet Cakes"
Sweet baby? What the hell is that? Who calls anyone "sweet baby," outside of Boyz II Men songs? This makes Ron Franklin both patronizing and weird. [USA Today; earlier]...

Not A Great Day For Peter King
First he discovers (and describes in detail) this newfangled drinking game called "keg standing," or something. Then he makes an unfortunate pun on Arian Foster's name. He's taking this Favre thing hard....

SportsCenter Anchors Celebrate Eric Mangini Getting Fired
We know it's exciting that the Mangenius is gone in Cleveland, but that's no reason for Hannah Storm and Adam Schefter to high-five over it. They quickly apologized, but still: high-five!...

An ESPN Anchor Maybe Plagiarized A Newspaper Column
ESPNEWS's Will Selva's lead-in to Lakers highlights bears an uncommon resemblance to Kevin Ding's OC Register column. Ding cries plagiarism. To be fair, there's only like three different Christmas-themed ledes....

Two Balls! Two Balls! Two Balls!
Yeah, it's a slow news day in Seattle. "Holy crap!"...

Time To Put The ESPN Ombudsman's Photo On Milk Cartons
Number of ESPN columns praising Don Ohlmeyer in the last 68 days: one. Number of Don Ohlmeyer's ESPN Ombudsman columns in the last 68 days: none....

The Skintight-Lycra-Bodysuit Phenomenon Finds Its Creepy Apex In This Man's Crotch
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The Greatest Letter Ever Printed On NFL Team Letterhead
In 1974, a Clevelander wrote the Browns complaining of the menace posed by the then-fad of throwing paper airplanes, and implicitly threatened litigation. The Browns' response is just about the most awesome thing ever committed to paper....

Batshit Hall Of Fame Voter: "I Compare PED Users To Murderers"
And we compare Lowell Cohn to a cymbal-banging monkey toy. I'm beginning to suspect HOF voters really do fancy themselves an elite task force of karacter kops. Drugs make people crazy. A Hall of Fame ballot makes people crazier. [PressDemocrat.com, Business Insider]...

Remembering The "Lorchcast," Worst Sportscast Ever
On Dec. 19, 1995, Matt Lorch, a fill-in sportscaster for KHQA in Quincy, Illinois, endured nearly six minutes on-air with malfunctioning videos, unplanned catch-phrases, and one of the most heartbreaking sighs ever sighed. Fifteen years later, we remember Lorchcast....

Gregg Easterbrook Is Still A Putz
Here are four sentences from last week's Tuesday Morning Quarterback column (or as I like to call it, יום שלישי הקוורטרבק בוקר). They are remarkable in that they pile stupidly on top of one another like a litter of puppies....

Lenny Dykstra Won't Dispense Stock Tips And Autograph Balls For $35 At A Mall Today After All
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

This Is How You Give A Post-Game Interview
Rugby — it's just 30 men having a hug/fight. Still, when it comes to cutting through the post-match bullshit, Saracen's boss Brendan Venter has got it all worked out....

The Worst News Lede You'll Read All Year (UPDATE)
"For the past month, body parts have been piling up around Miami-Dade and Broward counties like extra pounds on Kim Kardashian come Christmas time." [Miami New-Times, Google cache Screengrab below]...