owns Page 40 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
"Is Desmond Howard Gonna Have To Choke A Bitch?"
This is clearly a Wayne Brady reference, but someone should still try to get Rece Davis to safety just in case....
Man Who Was Not Good At What He Did: "You Can't Be Good At What You Do If You Don't Pour All Of Yourself Into It"
Abject failure of an NFL head coach Hue Jackson got the Greg Bishop treatment over at Sports Illustrated this week. Bishop has made a lane for himself working up sappy redemption narratives for sad-sacks who don’t really deserve it. Jackson, a grating figure who got shit-canned by the Browns after g...
Add Baker Mayfield To The List Of People Who Think It Was Dumb To Draft Daniel Jones
At this point you are not exactly going out on a limb when you say it was stupid for the New York Giants to draft Daniel Jones. Everybody is already saying this, and will likely continue to say it up until the point Jones throws a bunch of touchdowns and leads the Giants to the playoffs. With that i...
Which Flavor Of White Claw Hard Seltzer Is Best (At Football)?
This past weekend, I stopped by the little beer-and-wine store near my local supermarket and picked up a 12-can variety pack of White Claw–brand fruit-flavored “hard seltzer.” At the checkout counter, I had two options: A hip-looking 20-something dude with a beard and some kind of bunlike thing goin...
Jon Gruden Turns Worrying Shade Of Red Over Preseason Delay-Of-Game Penalty
Mike Glennon threw a 53-yard touchdown pass to [checks notes] Rico Gafford in the first quarter of Thursday night’s Raiders-Cardinals preseason game on ESPN. Immediately afterward, with the poor, addled fans in attendance still buzzing over the hookup, Oakland’s field goal unit took a delay of game ...
Nick Kyrgios Uses Bathroom Break To Demolish Two Rackets, Then Spits At Umpire In Latest Meltdown
Nick Kyrgios melted down spectacularly Wednesday night at the Cincinnati Masters, in a second-round loss to eighth seed Karen Khachanov, 6–7, 7–6, 6–2. Kyrgios completed a stirring comeback in the first set but started coming unglued in the second set, after chair umpire Fergus Murphy hit him with a...
The Cubs Were Screwed By The Worst Strike Three Call Of The Season, Maybe Of All Time
Maybe it’s time to let our robot umpire overlords reign supreme. At the very least, Cubs fans would be well within their rights in calling for the technology that will, in theory if not yet in practice, remove human error from strikes and balls, after Chicago was on the wrong end of one of the worst...
Why Your Team Sucks 2019: Cleveland Browns
Some people are fans of the Cleveland Browns. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Cleveland Browns. This 2019 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here.Your team: Cleveland Browns....
Gary Thorne's Sanity Is Collateral Damage In Gleyber Torres's Demolition Of Orioles Pitching
Remember way back in May, when Yankees infielder Gleyber Torres recorded his fourth multi-homer game against the Orioles of just this season? Remember how Torres became just the fourth player in MLB history to record four multi-homer games against one team in one season? Remember how O’s broadcaster...
MLS Coach Fired Over Unhinged, Multi-Phase Homophobic Meltdown
Real Salt Lake head coach Mike Petke was fired by the team Sunday, a little over two weeks after his meltdown at the end of his team’s 1–0 loss to Tigres UANL in the Leagues Cup. Between then and now Petke was hit with three different suspensions plus a fine over the incident, which was notable both...
Damon Sheehy-Guiseppi, Who Lied His Way Into A Browns Tryout, Scored A Return Touchdown In His NFL Debut
Late in Cleveland’s preseason win over Washington last night, rookie return specialist Damon Sheehy-Guiseppi fielded a punt and zipped mostly untouched, 86 yards, all the way to the opposite end zone. Despite the inherent meaninglessness of the game and the already gaudy scoreline, Sheehy-Guiseppi’s...
Mark Davis, Incredibly, Calls Another Professional Sports Franchise "Fucking Totally Dysfunctional"
The acrimonious and not-all-that-beneficial cohabitation of Mark Davis’s Raiders and the Oakland Athletics should come to a definitive end following this upcoming football season. Construction of the Raiders’ new stadium in Las Vegas is tentatively on schedule to wrap up next July; barring any huge ...
Freddie Kitchens Says He'll Fire Anyone Who Speaks Anonymously To The Press
Head coach Freddie Kitchens wishes to make it known that under no circumstances will any sensitive or inside information be leaked from the Cleveland Browns organization under his watch, period. Or, at the very least, there will be hell to pay for anyone who passes such information along to the pres...
At Least Three Paying Customers Have Been Kicked Out Of James Dolan's Recent Concerts
Knicks owner and dedicated crooner James Dolan seemingly has an allergy toward playing his music in front of anyone who might be inclined to bring actual attention to it. Over the past month, at least three paying customers have been booted from three separate venues during Dolan’s shows. Two of tho...
Moroccan Soccer Player Tries To Quit In The Middle Of A Preseason Ass-Kicking
Turkish side Fenerbahce took on German giants Bayern Munich in a preseason friendly yesterday. Things did not go well for the Fenerbahce players, who were dominated throughout the game and lost 6-1. That performance earned them plenty of boos from the home fans, which were enough to drive team capta...
Tennis Player Cramps, Pukes, Perseveres, Cramps Again, Withdraws Due To All Of The Above
Alex Lebedev, a successful college tennis player at Notre Dame, is now working his way into the pro ranks by competing in ITF and ATP Challenger events. This week the 22-year-old was attempting to qualify for the Challenger in Lexington, Kentucky, which broiled at a high of 89 degrees on Monday. It ...
Pau Gasol's Arrival To Trail Blazers Made Much Creepier With Heavy Breather On Conference Call
It’s strangely a bit reassuring to know that, no matter where you work, there will always be somebody who doesn’t understand or refuses to honor the basics of conference call etiquette. Whether it’s a distracting echo or the clack clack of keys typing or the slightly more adorable sound of a cat meo...
Impish Messi Fan Delights In Beer-Soaked Chaos His Trolling Inspires
Soccer fans in the U.S. aren’t usually the most rambunctious sort. As one Lionel Messi stan found out during last Friday’s Real Madrid-Atlético Madrid friendly match in New Jersey, though, even American fans will resort to chucking beer and debris at you if properly provoked:...
Mike Francesa And Trevor Bauer Get Into An Argument With No Winners And Two Losers
Cleveland Indians pitcher and online edgelord Trevor Bauer is one of the big names to watch ahead of next week’s MLB trade deadline. The team’s on a nice little surge at the moment and is only two games behind the AL Central-leading Twins, but if it shifts into asset collection mode, Bauer is probab...