owns Page 57 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
You Can't Bully These Motherfuckers
When I write that CNN politics writer Chris Cillizza is the rankest assbrain in the Western Hemisphere, I am not being nice to him. When I write that God clowned Chris Cillizza before he was born by making him Chris Cillizza instead of a shit-eating maggot, I am being unkind. When I say that Chris C...
Baker Mayfield Receives Honor Of Being Next Doomed Cleveland QB
Cleveland took Oklahoma QB Baker Mayfield with the top pick off the board in this year’s quarterback-heavy first round....
Josh Allen Called Stephen A. Smith At 2 A.M. To Apologize For His Racist Tweets
Last night, top NFL draft prospect Josh Allen joined the long list of young athletes who have seen their old, problematic tweets resurfaced. Yahoo compiled the since-deleted tweets, which were sent between 2012 and 2013, when Allen was still a teenager....
ESPN Fawns Over The Intelligence Of Trevor Bauer, Who Is A Big Dumb Asshole
Cleveland Indians pitcher Trevor Bauer is one of those athletes who seems custom-built to confuse sportswriters. ESPN’s Jerry Crasnick is the latest to get hoodwinked....
Report: Sports Anchor Booted From Warriors-Spurs Series After He Stole Steph Curry's Bodyguard's Jacket
Bay Area ABC7 sports anchor Mike Shumann was sent home from San Antonio and kept off the air for Sunday’s Warriors-Spurs game after he was caught stealing the jacket of the Golden State Warriors’ director of team security, according to The Athletic....
ESPN Report: This Is How Percentages Work
At long last, ESPN NFL insider Adam Schefter has determined that Tom Brady, who everyone on Earth assumed was going to be playing football for the Patriots next season, is going to be playing football for the Patriots next season....
Here Is An Unbelievably Useless ESPN Report About Tom Brady
The headline on ESPN scoopmaster Adam Schefter’s latest report about Tom Brady—“Sources: Tom Brady has yet to commit to playing ‘18 season for Pats”—probably won’t get your juices flowing. “Yet to commit” doesn’t mean he won’t, or that he’s even been asked to, and so I imagine you’ll go into the sto...
Eric Bledsoe On The Guy Currently Beating His Ass: "I Don't Even Know Who The Fuck That Is"
Bucks point guard Eric Bledsoe has not played very well in his team’s first two playoff games against the Boston Celtics, and his squad is now down 0-2 in the series. Bledsoe is shooting just 36 percent from the field in the series, and has been thoroughly outplayed by Boston’s backup-turned-startin...
Tennis Player Screams In Chair Umpire's Face During Overgrown Tantrum
American Jared Donaldson all but stamped his foot while screeching at the chair umpire about a serve that was called in during the second set of his first-round Monte Carlo match against Albert Ramos-Viñolas....
Is This The Dumbest-Ass Shit Anyone Has Ever Written About Richie Incognito?
Stuck down at the bottom of Andy Benoit’s latest column for The MMQB is this short blurb reflecting on the retirement of offensive lineman Richie Incognito:...
Report: TV Reporter Fight At Brewers Game Started Over Photo Of Bulldog
Last Friday, Milwaukee television reporter A.J. Bayatpour was arrested on battery charges after punching out a reporter from a rival Milwaukee station at a Brewers game. According to the police report, Bayatpour, who works for FOX affiliate WITI Channel 6, “caused significant injury” to Ben Jordan, ...
ESPN Brought To Its Knees By Reply Allpocalypse
Today we can add ESPN to the fraternity of organizations that has seen its employees thrust into a reply allpocalypse. Witness now some of their journey into the hellish depths....
Ray Lewis Says Odell Beckham Jr. Has "Removed God From His Life"
Former NFL linebacker Ray Lewis, who now makes a living going on TV to say “God” and “greatness” as many times as possible, joined Colin Cowherd on FS1 today to dish about Odell Beckham Jr....
Packers' Trevor Davis Jokes About Smuggling Bomb Onto Plane, Gets Arrested
Packers wideout Trevor Davis apparently tried to test the seriousness with which airport security takes those questions about putting stuff in your luggage. Turns out they take it pretty seriously!...
How Local News Stations Are Rebelling Against Their Sinclair Overlords
The workers at Sinclair-owned local news stations want you to know something: They are at least as pissed off as you’d expect them to be about being forced to bow to their fear-mongering corporate overlords, who make them do things like repeat Trumpisms about the fake news media and trade on their ...
<i>The Atlantic </i>Fires Opinion Writer For Opinions He Held When They Hired Him To Write His Opinions For <i>The Atlantic</i>
Does it qualify as a Milkshake Duck if they knew the duck was racist to begin with? What the hell has even happened here?...
What Did Gabe Kapler Fuck Up This Time?
Phillies manager Gabe Kapler had a hell of a first week on the job. First he mismanaged the bullpen to the point that he needed to put a position player on the mound just a few games into the season, and then he tried to make a pitching change before anyone had been given a chance to warm up. The se...
John Kruk Hints At The Gross Thing He Did As A Player During Rain Delays
Today’s Phillies-Mets game broadcast only on Facebook was fittingly delayed nearly two hours due to rain, so announcer Scott Braun asked color commentator Cliff Floyd what he did to pass the time during rain delays. Floyd said he’d text with friends, watch whatever other game was on, and try to stay...
Johnny Manziel: The Browns Should Have Known I Had No Idea What I Was Doing
Johnny Manziel’s odd redemption tour continued today when he appeared on The Dan Patrick Show. During the segment he was asked what he would go back and change about his rookie season if he had the chance, and his response was further proof that absolutely no one is incapable of clowning the Browns:...
Kevin Durant To Referee: "Call The Fucking Foul You Bitch-Ass Motherfucker"
Kevin Durant was ejected just before halftime during last night’s game against the Bucks. It was his fifth ejection of the season, and based on audio captured by the TNT broadcast, he prooooobably deserved it....