owns Page 58 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Ben Simmons Used An Air-Tight Argument To Try And Get Karl-Anthony Towns To Stay Up And Play Video Games With Him<em></em>
During a PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds streaming session last night, Sixers rookie Ben Simmons tried to convince Karl-Anthony Towns, who was logging off, to play a round with him. ...
Hue Jackson Fondly Remembers The Time Baker Mayfield Went "Hee Hee!"
This is the time of year when NFL coaches and talent evaluators are scrambling to find that one big insight that will reveal to them which incoming rookies are destined to be stars. Does hand size hold the key? Bench press reps? Polite manners? Browns head coach Hue Jackson has found something else:...
Jim Mora: "I Would Take Sam Darnold If I Were The Browns"
Former UCLA head coach Jim Mora thinks the Cleveland Browns should select Sam Darnold, from crosstown rival USC, with the first pick in the draft.* Mora said this on live television even though Josh Rosen, whom he coached at UCLA, is also right there at the top of most draft boards....
Deion Sanders Tries The "You Never Played The Game" Bit On An All-Pro Safety
Kevin Byard plays safety for the Tennessee Titans and was a first-team All-Pro after making 87 tackles and eight interceptions last season. Given his performance, Byard he wondered how Hall of Fame defensive back and current NFL Network analyst Deion Sanders could think that Tyrann Mathieu is the be...
Joe Thomas Roasted Everyone During His Retirement Press Conference
Former Browns tackle Joe Thomas, who rules, is finally free of the Sadness Factory after 11 seasons. Yesterday, he held a press conference to make his retirement official, and spent a portion of it playfully roasting various characters from the Browns’ depressing universe....
Here's A Great Story About Mike Lupica Being A Dickhead
Mike Lupica, whose little fingers are still, somehow, busy banging out columns for the New York Daily News and MLB.com, has a bit of a reputation for being a smug jerk to people he deems beneath him. From Shannon Hale, a well-known author of young-adult novels, comes yet another tale of Lil’ Mike be...
Screeching Moron Formerly In Charge Of U.S. Soccer Scouting Offers Braindead Anti-Messi Take
You probably aren’t familiar with Thomas Rongen, and we really wish we didn’t feel compelled to inform you of his existence. But when a gaping asshole like this has somehow amassed real, serious power at the highest levels of U.S. Soccer, and demonstrates his gross incompetence for his position in t...
John Skipper Says He Left ESPN After Someone He Bought Cocaine From Tried To Extort Him
Former ESPN president John Skipper cited a substance abuse problem as the cause for his resignation when he left the network last December. There have since been no details revealed about the nature or severity of that problem, but in an interview with The Hollywood Reporter published today Skipper ...
There Goes Joe Thomas
Joe Thomas retired today. After 11 seasons as the Cleveland Browns’ starting left tackle, a career that included an astonishing streak of 10,363 consecutive snaps played, Thomas will now do whatever he wants. In five years, he will become eligible for what looks like a surefire Hall of Fame inductio...
Welcome To Hell
This is what is currently airing on ESPN. The network decided that today would be a good day to dedicate what I assume is 19 hours of programming to a show in which roughly 37 people sit around some folding tables and talk football while waiting for NFL free agency to officially begin at 4 p.m. ...
<i>Sports Illustrated </i>Writer: The Vikings Took My Advice And Signed Kirk Cousins
Here is Sports Illustrated writer and tape-eater extraordinaire Andy Benoit crafting a lead that is the columnist’s version of inviting you into his office just as he finishes off a set of 500 pushups:...
Sky Sports Suspends Jamie Carragher For Rest Of Season After Drive-By Spitting
After video emerged of ex-Liverpool star Jamie Carragher hocking a loogie at the car of a taunting driver and his daughter last weekend, Sky Sports announced that it had suspended Carragher—now one of its pundits—indefinitely while the company investigated the incident. Today, Sky has handed down it...
The Fraudsters At Jimmy Haslam's Pilot Flying J Had Some Very Racist Takes On The Browns And Raiders
A U.S. District Court Judge has unsealed transcripts of secretly recorded tapes gathered in the investigation of fraud perpetrated by Browns owner Jimmy Haslam’s Pilot Flying J company. While the transcripts apparently don’t contradict Haslam’s claim that he was in no way involved in the scheme, the...
The Browns Trade A QB, Receive A QB, And Still Need A QB
The Cleveland Browns are making moves, in the same way that a dead squid writhes after being covered in soy sauce. New GM John Dorsey pulled off three whole trades today, two of them involving quarterbacks, and neither of them involving A.J. McCarron....
Muhammad Wilkerson's Mom Goes On Radio To Blast Reporter Who Said Her Son Had "Issues With Alcohol"
Yesterday, New York Daily News reporter Manish Mehta suggested that defensive lineman Muhammad Wilkerson, who was recently cut by the Jets and is currently visiting Green Bay and New Orleans, shouldn’t sign with the Saints because of “issues with alcohol.” This understandably pissed off Wilkerson’s ...
Here's Some Satisfying Sports Media Beef
Who’s hungry for some fuckin’ sports media drama? What if I told you it involved one writer misquoting another and a sassy Bill Simmons tweet? Pull up a chair, friend, and get a plate of this hot beef....
Timberwolves Collectively Melt Down During Costly Conference Loss
In the fourth quarter of Friday night’s Jazz win over the Timberwolves, Jeff Teague tracked Ricky Rubio in transition up the left sideline and randomly checked him into the row of courtside seats. The penalty for Teague was a scolding from Jazz forward Jae Crowder, and a Flagrant 2 foul, and an ejec...
For Reporters, The NFL Combine Can Be One Awkward Feeding Frenzy
INDIANAPOLIS — “This is already a degrading experience.”...
Well That Was A Bizarre Press Conference From Mirai Nagasu
Of all the parties involved in the U.S. women’s figure skating collapse yesterday, Mirai Nagasu had perhaps the most baffling performance. Nagasu was considered a dark horse candidate to sneak in for bronze after delivering a big free skate performance in the team event, but she didn’t even attempt ...
Bode Miller Is The Worst Sports Commentator Who Ever Lived
Here is my impression of Bode Miller, alpine skiing analyst for NBC’s Winter Olympics coverage, watching Neil Armstrong take humankind’s first step onto the surface of the Moon:...