owns Page 78 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

BBC Equestrian Announcers Sound Very Horny For Dressage
Yes, yes, BBC dressage announcers were very taken with Charlotte Dujardin’s performance today atop Valegro, which is a horse and not a black market allergy medication. We are not sure if your announcers were wearing pants during this broadcast. It is possible that they were not, or perhaps wished th...

CBC Announcer On Hot Mic: "That Little 14-Year-Old From China...Went Out Like Stink, Died Like A Pig"
CBC is apologizing (or, in Canadian, ‘apologising’) after swimming analyst Byron McDonald spoke his mind about 14-year-old Chinese swimmer Ai Yanhan, whose performance in the 4x200m freestyle relay final allowed Canada to claim bronze in the U.S. dominated race....

Wichita State Basketball Coach Gregg Marshall Flips The Hell Out During Exhibition Game
The Wichita State Shockers played an exhibition game against McGill University in Montreal yesterday, a meaningless game that was supposed to be played at half-speed and produce zero headlines. Neither of those things happened....

ESPN Dipshit To English-Speaking Ichiro: Speak English!!!
ESPN SportsCenter anchor and former WWE commentator Todd Grisham, who fancies himself a tough man, has a tough message for True Hit King Ichiro: This is America, learn some English!...

Olympic Reporters Are Hungry And Cranky
Reporters are the complainingest people on earth, and these Olympics are giving them plenty to complain about—not a good combination. Today’s outrage: a severe lack of food options inside the media center. ...

Joey Votto Owns Clown-Ass Reds Fan
Don’t try to pull any shit on Joey Votto. Asking for some charity while sitting in some expensive seats? That’ll get you a taste of Joey Votto’s praxis. Trying to catch a foul ball and getting in Votto’s way? He’ll pull your card. ...

Skip Bayless: ESPN Held Me Back, My Fox Sports Takes Will Be Hotter<em></em>
Skip Bayless, a circus clown who peddles shitty sports takes on TV, will debut a new show on Fox Sports 1 on September 6, he told The Hollywood Reporter this morning. It will go head-to-head with First Take, and Bayless says the takes will be even spicier. ...

Karl-Anthony Towns Dunks On Child Who Must Now Embark On Lifelong Vengeance Plot
Most NBA players are content to lightly humiliate young basketball camp attendees with an emphatic block or two, but Karl-Anthony Towns just set a new standard for player-on-camper aggression:...

Did Aroldis Chapman Give A Bad Domestic Violence Answer, Or Was It Translator Error?
Aroldis Chapman held his first press conference with the Chicago media as a member of the Cubs this afternoon, and immediately overshadowed his debut by being dismissive of a question about the domestic violence allegations that saw the MLB suspend him for 30 days. But five hours after the press con...

Jim Brown Did Great Things; He Also Beat Women
For decades, Jim Brown has served sportswriters as a kind of shorthand for the type of activist an athlete should be. Just yesterday, Brown was upheld as an inspiration in William C. Rhoden’s farewell column in the The New York Times; name-dropped for helping receiver Josh Gordon return from his ind...

Why Your Team Sucks 2016: Cleveland Browns<em></em>
Some people are fans of the Cleveland Browns. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Cleveland Browns. This 2016 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. And buy Drew’s new book here....

NFL Reinstates Josh Gordon, Also Suspends Him Four Games
The NFL announced today that it will reinstate Cleveland Browns receiver Josh Gordon. The league also said that Gordon will be suspended for the first four games of this season....

Chris Sale Suspended Five Days For Insubordination
The White Sox announced today Chris Sale is suspended five days for his outburst yesterday that reportedly included the All-Star pitcher destroying throwback uniforms he didn’t want to wear. ...

George Washington Basketball Players Accuse Coach Mike Lonergan Of Verbal And Emotional Abuse
The George Washington men’s basketball program has seen 13 players transfer out of the school in the last five years. According to accusations made by current and former players in a thorough Washington Post investigation, players keep transferring because head coach Mike Lonergan is a nutjob that n...

Lou Holtz Is Really Going For It At The RNC
Donald Trump may not have been able to convince any famous athletes to speak at this week’s Republican National Convention, but he did get Lou Holtz’s support, dammit, and Lou Holtz is giving it everything he has....

We'd Love To Hear More Of Jason Whitlock's Ideas About Communist Mastery Of The American Media
Yesterday, Fox Sports personality and All Takes Matter co-host Jason Whitlock sent some interesting tweets about Communist financial influence on the American media:...

Mike Lupica's Sons Have A Sports Podcast
“Hosts Alex, Chris and Zach Lupica are three brothers living in NYC who use sports and pop culture as a medium to brighten the darkness of your morning” is how In The Loop, a new sports podcast brought to you by the progeny of pocket egotist Mike Lupica, is billed on its official Facebook page. The ...

Police Union Threatens Not To Work Browns Games Over Anti-Cop Instagram Post
In response to the shooting deaths of Alton Sterling and Philando Castile, Browns running back Isaiah Crowell posted a drawing of a police officer getting his throat slit on his Instagram account:...

Did Brock Lesnar Really Suplex An NFL Player To Avenge Daunte Culpepper?
Brock Lesnar returned to the UFC to fight Mark Hunt this weekend, which was as good of a reason as any to dredge up an old, apparently apocryphal story from Lesnar’s brief NFL days. Vikings.com used the fight as a peg to recall a Nate Burleson story about how, when Lesnar was trying out for the Viki...

Yunel Escobar Got Ejected For Drawing In The Dirt
Angels third baseman Yunel Escobar is a known dickhead, so it’s not totally surprising to see him invent a brand new way to get ejected from a baseball game....