owns Page 82 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Atlanta Braves Are Very Bad, And Fredi Gonzalez Isn't Helping
It’s not easy managing a team as bereft of talent as the Atlanta Braves, so my first impulse is to feel bad for Fredi Gonzalez, who has steered his garbage team to an 0-7 start. But the Braves have been in some very winnable games, and Gonzalez hasn’t been doing much but tripping over his own feet i...
Report: NFL Denies Josh Gordon's Reinstatement, Won't Reconsider Until August
Josh Gordon, who’s on his third suspension for violating the NFL’s substance-abuse policy, won’t be reinstated any time soon, according to Mary Kay Cabot of Cleveland.com. The league has denied his request, which will leave the Browns receiver suspended through at least the start of training camp....
Report: Josh Gordon Failed Yet Another Drug Test
Earlier today, answers finally surfaced in the NFL offseason’s most ragin’ mystery: Who is Johnny Manziel’s roommate? Initially, it appeared it was fellow ex-Texas A&M Aggie Von Miller, but it turns out Manziel is shacking up with suspended Browns receiver Josh Gordon....
Report: Former Brown Johnny Manziel Is Living With Suspended Brown Josh Gordon
Johnny Manziel was spotted in Los Angeles over the weekend by a TMZ pap, and the former Browns quarterback said that all is well in his life. Manziel claimed he was living with Broncos linebacker Von Miller, who was his college teammate at Texas A&M. Today, ESPN reported that Manziel is actually sha...
A Very Rude Blue Jays Fan Found Pablo Sandoval A New Belt
Big-bellied Pablo Sandoval had a bit of a mishap with his belt during Saturday’s game against the Blue Jays. It happened during his second at-bat of the season, and it’s honestly starting to feel like some higher power is ordering Sandoval’s 2016 campaign to be a never-ending fat joke. For example:...
Minor League Soccer Team Has Minor League Media Operation
The Charleston Battery are a soccer team that play in the United Soccer League—the third tier of American soccer, below MLS and the NASL—and average about 4,000 fans a game. You would think they’d be happy with any media coverage they could get, especially from South Carolina’s most-read newspaper. ...
Hawk Harrelson Submits Supremely Terrible Home Run Call
White Sox play-by-play man Hawk Harrelson, also known as Darkest Timeline Vin Scully, had a little trouble tracking this home run ball during last night’s game between the White Sox and A’s:...
No Losing Team Is As Fun Or As Intriguing As The Timberwolves
It would be an overreaction to last night’s overtime victory over the Warriors to proclaim that it heralds the Timberwolves’ arrival. It was just one game, after all, and the team is still just 26-52, the fifth-worst record in the NBA. It also remains to be seen how they deal with the organizational...
Jim Nantz, A Tremendous Weirdo, Gave His Tie To Ryan Arcidiacono
Imagine you are Villanova guard Ryan Arcidiacono, a senior who just helped your team win one of the greatest championship games in NCAA history. You’re sweaty, you’re euphoric, and you’re covered in confetti. You want to scream and hug your teammates and find your family. You turn toward the crowd, ...
Mike Francesa Forced To Order Wrestlemania For His Sons, Remains Crestfallen
Mike Francesa has two sons: Jack and the dreaded Harrison. This is the story of how they manipulated him into ordering last night’s Wrestlemania on pay-per-view:...
Jay Williams Receives Phone Call During Live Shot
ESPN analyst Jay Williams forgot to silence his phone before going live on SportsCenter this morning, and just like when you forgot to do it before going to church today, it rang at the most inappropriate moment. Williams laughed it off, suggesting it was one of the coaches to talk strategy—but who ...
Stadium Blacks Out Ribbon Boards To Fix Horrific TBS Glare
Massive viewer complaints about glare from the Final Four venue ribbon boards on TBS’s broadcast led to the lights being blacked out late in the first half of tonight’s Oklahoma-Villanova semifinal....
DeMarcus Cousins And Rajon Rondo Execute The Rare Double Technical
Rajon Rondo and DeMarcus Cousins, two of the surliest dudes in the NBA, teamed up to pull off a remarkable act of asshole behavior during the final seconds of last night’s game against the Wizards....
<i>New York Times</i> Responds To NFL's Demand For Retraction, Unleashes The Burns
This week, NFL lawyers sent a letter to The New York Times demanding that the Times’s recent investigation into the league’s bogus concussion studies be retracted. It was so limp that it demanded a proper takedown. Thankfully, the Times was happy to oblige, via a response letter from their own lawye...
Jim Nantz Appears To Be Insane
In attempt to teach you what real pain is, Golf Digest decided to let Jim Nantz go Kerouac on everyone’s ass. You should never expose yourself to Jim Nantz’s stream-of-consciousness musings, but I would like to briefly draw your attention to his deeply disturbing anecdote about toast:...
Geno Auriemma Doesn't Think Too Much Of Dan Shaughnessy
The UConn women’s basketball team breezed into the Elite 8 by beating Mississippi St. 98-38 on Saturday, and barking carrot Dan Shaughnessy did not approve:...
Oh, This'll Really Reassure People That The Browns Have Turned Things Around
Robert Griffin III is a Brown. (As he was, on some level, always destined to be.) The Browns’ football people, especially head coach Hue Jackson, apparently loved what they saw from Griffin in a workout last week. A workout that was attended by shitbag owner Jimmy Haslam. We now learn, from this NFL...
Report: Browns Put Final Nail In RGIII's Coffin
Of all the teams involved in this offseason’s game of Mediocre Quarterback Musical Chairs, the Cleveland Browns had the most options. Of course, this only meant that the Browns had an array of sinkholes to fall into, and they seem to have finally chosen the one with Robert Griffin III at the bottom....