p Page 7517 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Mmmmmmmmmm Tour de Donut
Without the benefit of steroid scandals or testicular cancer survivors, this year's Tour de France isn't getting a whole lot of attention from the American sporting world. And don't you worry, I'm not paying it any mind either. Not while there's a Tour de Donut going on. The 32-mile MissouriIllinoi...
Starbury Does Some Self-Branding
It's no forehead Olympics tattoo, but Stephon Marbury has some fine audacious cranial ink of his own. And self-promotional too! The 30 Rock writers must make Tracy Jordan respond in kind....
You're Welcome Ladies
Busted Coverage turned up this video featuring a Rangers fan of [consults euphemism robot he lets sleep on his couch] considerable avoirdupois whose gut plunges a good foot or so below his waistline. That is the tehest of sexy. Incidentally, I'm sure that's the only time he's had something with only...
Madonna Begged For This To Happen
Jose Canseco is probably going to need some help with the fighting scenes in his grand Yuen Woo-ping-choreographed kung fu movie, because, well, dude can't fight. Last night he was dealt a first-round knockout at the fisted hands of former Philadelphia Eagles return man Vai Sikahema in Atlantic Cit...
These Are Clapping Dogs, Rhythmic Dogs, First-Pitching Dogs, House Dogs, Street Dogs
Uno, who I believe was named for the card game I never bothered to learn, continues to blaze trails for doggykind. Back in February, he became the first beagle ever to win the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show (though Snoopy remains the first to be a World War I flying ace). Yesterday, he "threw" ou...
Forrest Griffin Is Somewhat Headstrong
UFC light heavyweight Forrest Griffin either possesses Homer Simpson Syndrome or as a teenager had very little regard for the condition of his cranium. Either way, he makes John Randle look sedate. ...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while imaging a world with hover bacon......
Wladimir Klitschko vs. Tony Thompson Open Thread
Wladimir Klitschko and Tony Thompson are readying to square off in Hamburg (in Color Line Arena, no less) for the heavyweight title on HBO. Ukraine's Klitschko is the heavy favorite, but D.C. native Thompson (whose back story was sufficiently limned by this insidious rag) has the power and size, if...
Lima Time Returns To The States
We've had an absurd dedication around these parts with bringing you the latest developments in the career of Jose Lima. Is it his infectious ebullience on the mound? Or the fact that his wife is stacked? Hard to say. When last we heard from Lima Time, he was still whooping it up with the Kia Tigers...
Won't He Feel Silly In Four Years
The Beijing Olympics forehead tattoo is the new hotness. [The 700 Level]...
That's A Stanley Cup You Can Keep
Every team that wins the Stanley Cup parties hard with the Holy Grail. The Detroit Red Wings are no different, even if they've been a little rough with the trophy. Most teams, however, don't allow family members to shit in it, as Kris Draper did....
Halo Kid Vs. Red Sox Nation: WHO YA GOT?
This here's the new yet derivative Internet sensation that is Halo Kid. Obvious comparisons can be drawn to Star Wars Kid, except Halo Kid will never be referenced on Arrested Development, so the former wins. Gilbert Arenas will still be his friend though. I post this here because I didn't want to p...
Canadians Deploy Secret Weapon: Gentle Mocking
Looks as though the "Ruin Romo" craze has made its way to our neighbor to the north,...[checks map] Canadia! A few fans were taunting A-1 Rodboy yesterday with pictures of Madge. Lenny Kravitz might have been more effective, as evidenced by A-Rod collecting one of the Yankees' two hits....
Cubs Fans Drink Early, Die Nearby
The gimlet eyed besuboru fans at Home Run Derby spotted a Cubs fan handing his kid what looks like a beer during yesterday afternoon's game against the Giants at Wrigley. Corey Hart's daughter is jealous that he gets it in a cup. Maybe the dad wants him to get alcohol poisoning to ensure placement i...
Peter King Knows The Motivations Of His Bretty Boy
Favraro's Log. Gunsling Date: Sometime in the middle of the ponderous NFL off-season where shit like this can dominate the headlines for weeks on end. Somewhere, off the distance, did hove into view a great assemblage of bullshit about Brett Favre. FUCK! It's coming right for us! Take evasive actio...