pe Page 1053 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Group Fiction, Part V: Return To River Bend
We already posted your daily link to Dave McKenna's "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," but here it is again for good measure. We'll post this mother until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit is nailed to a cross while dogs gnaw off its toes. (For those of you keeping track, this is "We Are All...
Sports Media Celebrate Equality By Accusing Hope Solo And The USWNT Of Choking In World Cup Final
The U.S. women lost in the World Cup final to Japan on Sunday in Frankfurt after relinquishing leads in the waning moments of both regulation and overtime, then whiffing on its first three penalty kicks, the second of which went soaring off toward Lower Bavaria. In reductive, knee-jerk sportsworld...
Here's The Harry Potter-Referencing Legal Brief The ACLU Filed In The Dumbass Dan Snyder Libel Suit
The ACLU filed a brief yesterday in D.C. Superior Court slamming Dan Snyder for his dumbass libel lawsuit against the Washington City Paper and asking the court to toss out the case. D.C. councilmember Mary Cheh joined the brief, along with a raft of influential news organizations such as The Americ...
Ricky Rubio Of The Habsburg Empire: Picturing The NBA's Europe Through Geopolitical History
Saturday in Vienna, the remains of Otto von Habsburg — would-be Emperor of Austria, Apostolic King of Hungary, (presumably non-apostolic) King of Bohemia, Dalmatia, Croatia, Slavonia, and Galicia, Lodomeria, and Illyria, and so on, had all those jobs not been downsized when he was two years old — we...
UAE Soccer Player May Be Punished For "Disrespectful"-But-Also-Awesome Backheel Penalty Kick
On Sunday, Theyab Awana, a 21-year-old winger with the United Arab Emirates national team, scored on a penalty kick in a friendly against Lebanon. Only he did it off of a 180 and using his heel. UAE was up 5-2 at the time, and they ultimately won 7-2, so the stakes weren't very high for either tea...
This Bike Is Literally The Fastest Thing On Two Wheels
At a former Air Force base, Bill Warner set a new land speed record, getting his modified Suzuki Hayabusa up to just shy of 312 MPH. If you're feeling insecure about your ride, just note that Warner needed a shove to get going....
Why Everyone Wants To Marry Hope Solo
A lot of people think Hope Solo is hot, statistically speaking. That's not surprising. What is unusual is how little her perceived hotness seems to matter to those people. There seems to be less of a desire to see her in a bikini, and the fact that people find her attractive is manifesting itself i...
"Goodnight And Good Luck": Kevin-Costner-Owned Minor League Team's Announcer Quits On Air
Last week we brought you the peculiar odyssey of the Lake County Fielders, a minor league baseball club in Zion, Ill., owned in part by Kevin Costner. The Fielders' manager — former Blue Jays skipper Tim Johnson — resigned over team-wide pay disputes, many of its players refused to play, and the o...
Packers DB Sam Shields Gets Giant, Painful-Looking Super Bowl Ring Tattooed On His Neck
Super Bowl winners receive championship rings—expensive, garish things—but they're tangible. You can hang on to your triumph through karats....
World Peace And Breast Milk: An Evening With Ron Artest, Funny Man
In late August, after a review by the Los Angeles Superior Court, Ron Artest will legally change his name to Metta World Peace. His basketball jersey will say "WORLD PEACE." "With a space and everything," his publicist said....
Your USA-Japan World Cup Final Open Thread
USA lineup: Solo; Krieger, Rampone, Buehler, LePeilbet; O'Reilly, Boxx, Lloyd, Rapinoe; Wambach, Cheney. Let's go get it, girls....
Science! Proves That No One Thought Hope Solo Was Hot Until She Went Brunette
Goalkeeper Hope Solo has adopted the Brandi Chastain USWNT Sex Symbol endowed chair, and our friends at KCKRS have decided to give this thing the data-driven treatment it deserves....
The US Women's Coach, Who Is Swedish, Fires Her Team Up By Occasionally Breaking Into Soft-Rock Song
Neither Hope Solo's ravishing skin nor disappearing nipple has carried the US Women's National Team to one game of the women's World Cup. Rather, the team can credit the musical stylings of its head coach, Pia Sundhage. She sings. And even though she's Swedish, she knows more than Cardigans and Ace ...
ESPN Inexplicably Whitewashes Rick Reilly Column To Remove Rupert Murdoch Reference
In the Reilly column we dissected earlier, there was a throwaway line, a very Rick Reilly sort of pop culture reference....
College Football Writer Mike Bruce Feldman Is Persona Non Grata In Bristol
Sports by Brooks is reporting that ESPN college football writer Bruce Feldman "has been banned from writing for any ESPN entity, is forbidden from appearing on any ESPN platform, is not allowed to Tweet from his Twitter account nor participate in any promotion of a recently-released book in which F...
Even Rodney Harrison Thinks James Harrison Is An Angry Person
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: when even the league's dirtiest player is offended, maybe you've gone too far....
Hope Solo Headlines Spring Eternal
Hope Solo and her teammates will play in the Women's World Cup final on Sunday afternoon — largely thanks to Solo's heroics in goal. The worst things to come out of this very exciting thing, though, are the headlines. Here they are, in ascending order of awfulness....
Australian Netballer Suspended For Inappropriate Upskirt Touching
Per the Warnambool Standard, "A district league netballer has been given a two-week suspended sentence following allegations she made indecent contact up an opponent's skirt. The South West District Football Netball League (SWDFNL) has refused to name any of the parties involved or the circumstance...
The Seth Meyers-Lynn Hoppes Pre-ESPYs Bro-Down Skewers ESPN
Last we checked in on Page 2's Lynn Hoppes, he was breathlessly name-dropping third-tier celebrities, en route to this whole thing. (Of note: ESPN has since pulled the offending Hoppes video from its YouTube account. Did Brock Lesnar's attorneys complain?) Hoppes is ESPN's expert in the macho-tinged...
Minor League Involving Kevin Costner, Jose Canseco, and Pete LaCock Devolves Into Extreme Chaos
One wishes there were a way to succinctly explain what the hell went on this weekend in the North American Baseball League. There isn't, but "mop-up catcher Joey Gathright" gets us pretty close to explaining the weird story of the NABL's Lake County (Ill.) Fielders, owned in part by Kevin Costner....