pe Page 1062 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Your Lightning-Bruins Game Two Open Thread
In Game One Saturday night, Tampa Bay blitzed the Bruins, scoring three goals in a span of 90 seconds in the first period, winning 5-2....

We Are All Dave McKenna CII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit tastes the poison haggis....

A Children's Treasury Of Athletes Breaking Trophies
Who: Pasi Nurminen, former NHL player and Finland goalie coach....

America Mercifully Spared From Awful Sitcom About Colin Cowherd's Life
Tweeted Cowherd, "Network passed on my sitcom. On to plan B. In talks with Charlie Sheen for new show 'Almost Winning.' Taste that CBS."...

LeBron, Wade, Bosh "Human Centipede" Sign Too Gross For Display Inside United Center
But according to CB Probasco, artist and season ticketholder, the sign was a big hit outside the arena. Suggested headline from Brett, another participant, was "FEED HER! Taj Gibson Certainly Did," but I didn't want to ruin this poster with that haunting imagery. Too late, I guess....

Danny Ainge And Doc Rivers Maybe Kind Of Possibly A Little Bit Regret The Kendrick Perkins Trade
Danny Ainge and Doc Rivers present a clinic in saying a lot without saying much at all. Here's Ainge, on WEEI's The Big Show today, making an argument about a legitimate argument that one could make that he most certainly is not making:...

Behold The Pride Of The Ohio State University
Police busted a 1,000-strong block party near the OSU campus over the weekend, and these three young gentlemen — from left to right, Michael Shivak, 21, Matthew Coleman, 19, and Brian Witt, 21 — were arrested on charges of a felony assault on a police officer. No idea how Shivak came out so clean....

We Are All Dave McKenna CI
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit expires like an old bag of airline peanuts....

Here's The Taj Gibson Dunk That Inspired Reggie Miller To Quote Martin Luther King On Air
The Bulls beat the Heat by 21 points at home in Game 1 of the Eastern Conference finals this evening. Taj Gibson, who finished with nine points and seven boards off the bench for Chicago, had the two best dunks of the game. The first left Reggie Miller speechless, and presumably on top of Steve Ke...

Nobody Wins When Batman Gets The Ever-Living Shit Kicked Out Of Him In Public
This is just sad. Guy slides into a Batman costume and tries to shake down tourists in a cash-for-photo scheme that ends up killing off the myth of superheroism (or quasi-superheroism) once and for all. Let this be a lesson to false idols everywhere: Making lewd comments to critics is nowhere near...

We Are All Dave McKenna C
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until [Daniel] Snyder's dumbass libel suit gets wrapped in white linens and dropped to the bottom of the Potomac....

If Watching White Dudes Trying To Dance In Unison Is Your Thing, This Is The Video For You
The highlight of this video, which would never have been made if not for the mental defect which convinces most baseball players they're totally awesome and funny and kings of the world, comes at the 2:30-2:34. Because slo-mo footage of toast actually is awesome....

We Are All Dave McKenna XCIX
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit gets got....

Goalkeeper Gets His Angles Completely Right To Fool Striker
Quite what the goalkeeper in this clip was up to is anybody's guess — but it seemed to work. The La Paz stopper is so wrong he's right as he forces San Jose striker Maxi Andrade to smash the ball into the post....

We Are All Dave McKenna XCVIII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit takes a torpedo to the ammunition hold....

Roger Federer Lost, But He Still Managed To Do Something Only Roger Federer Can Do
Roger Federer dropped his third round Italian Open match, 4-6, 7-6 (2), 7-6 (4), to Richard Gasquet yesterday. "I definitely feel I should never have lost this match," Federer said afterwards. "I just couldn't come up with the shots." This one, of all shots, he came up with....

<em>The New York Times</em> Provides The First Drug Smear Of The Baseball Season
"For the last few years," The New York Times writes in the Bartolo Colon story that we flagged earlier today, "baseball and other sports, while fighting to limit the use of performance-enhancing drugs, have been faced with a new and murky challenge: players getting sophisticated blood treatments, of...

We Are All Dave McKenna XCVII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit is slipped the cyanide pill....

The Bizarre Cult Of Pro-Owner NFL Fanboys
Here's a tidy summation of how we've managed to get to where we are with the NFL lockout. A few years ago, the players and owners agreed to a new CBA, with only Ralph Wilson and Mike Brown voting against the agreement, in Wilson's case because he's old and easily confused by things....

Basketball Training Of The Future Is Terrifying And Nauseating
Our French tipster Antoine sent this in with the subject line "ro basketball team training with robots," perhaps because he's aware of our constant fear of the Robot Uprising. But the Futuroscope that helped Poitiers Basket 86 develop their spatial recognition or some such nonsense doesn't inspire...