pe Page 1063 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Group Fiction, Part II: "... His Tongue Raging Against His Boss's"
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit hears the bell tolling. (For those of you keeping track, this is "We Are All Dave McKenna XCVI.")...

Shawn Kemp Refuses Courtside Seats To Oklahoma City Game; Remains Seattle's Hero
Shawn Kemp has been retired from professional basketball for about eight years now, but after eight seasons with the SuperSonics, he still lives in the Seattle area and makes time for a weekly appearance on local sports radio with the "Ian Furness Show" on KJR. In yesterday's show, Kemp shared tha...

Big Baby Enters The Mirror Stage
Glen Davis had the opportunity this season — after the Celtics traded away Kendrick Perkins and while Shaq enjoys a paycheck and a warm seat as he eases into retirement — to earn real minutes and to anchor the second unit. He tried. He averaged about thirty minutes per game during the regular season...

We Are All Dave McKenna XCV
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit is consumed by the fires of justice in DC Superior Court, where fires of justice occasionally erupt, possibly in trash cans reserved for frivo...

We Are All Dave McKenna XCIV
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit is walked to slaughter under an angry moon....

When One Door Closes For Phil Jackson, Another One Opens To An Alternative, Cosmic Universe
Rick Carlisle joked to the media that Phil Jackson would get a little bored sitting around Montana "smoking peyote"all day but Jackson said that statement was completely false. The part about being bored, that is. Ride the snake, Phil. [Via FoxDFW]...

An Update On Telling You Which Soccer Player Had An Affair With This Lady
We felt very bad last time. We hate blind items (though we did guess Ryan Giggs). But there's this thing in the UK where celebrities can get court-ordered injunctions against newspapers publishing items about their personal lives. They're called injunctions, and lots of celebrities have them, and to...

We Are All Dave McKenna XCIII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit locks itself in a garage with the engine running....

Here's Your Manny Pacquiao/Shane Mosley Fight Night Open Thread
Manny Pacquiao will fight Shane Mosley in Las Vegas, with the WBO welterweight title on the line, tonight. But is it truly a fight when everybody already knows who is going to win, and when the person who everybody knows is going to lose doesn't betray even a hint of anger toward his foe?...

Your Kentucky Derby Open Thread
Post-time for the 137th Kentucky Derby isn't until 6:24 p.m. eastern but, hell, NBC starts its coverage at 4 p.m. so it's a stone-cold mortal lock that Costas'll do something toity enough to warrant open-thread discussion....

We Are All Dave McKenna XCII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until [Daniel] Snyder's dumbass libel suit gets pegged into submission....

So, This Is What A College Station Glee Episode Would Look Like
Tipster Glenn T. just sent in this link to what's described as "nearly 150 students burst(ing) into seemingly spontaneous song and dance" during Texas A&M Foundation's annual Legacy Society Gala at the Gilliam Indoor Track Stadium....

This Is What It Looks Like To Almost Get Trampled By A Runaway Racehorse
Hickey posted about this traumatizing moment at the Grand Annual Steeplechase at Australia's Warrnambool carnival this morning, when a wild racehorse leaped over a fence and into a crowd of people, injuring an 80-year-old woman and a two-year-old boy and scaring the shit out of an unspecified numb...

To Celebrate Willie Mays's 80th, Here's A Rare Photo Of The Catch
Mays turns 80 today, and it's amazing that one of the greatest all-around baseball players ever can still be known for a single moment....

We Are All Dave McKenna XCI
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Daniel Snyder's dumbass libel suit has a chromium-toothed alien erupt from its intestines....

Figure Skating Is Much More Tolerable When Routines Are Super Mario-Themed
Here's Tatiana Volosozhar and partner Maxim Trankov doing their graceful skating thing at the 2011 World Championships in Moscow earlier in the week. No Beethoven. No Handel. No terrible 70s ballads. Just Mario....

We Are All Dave McKenna XC (Introducing Our Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Fiction)
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Daniel Snyder's dumbass libel suit is dissected in a science class on stupidity. Today, we commence our Dan Snyder group fiction. Read an explanation here, if you haven't alr...

A Special Graduation Message To The Class of 2011
Every year, thousands of young Americans graduate from college. And every year, those poor wretched hungover bastards are forced to sit out in some quad in million-degree heat to listen to a mildly famous person yammer on and on for hours about how these kids will change the world and all that bulls...

Your NBA Playoffs Open Thread
So, the youngest MVP in NBA history, the bong-loving son of a tennis player and a bunch of other guys will try to defend their No. 1 seed by fending off the mighty Atlanta Hawks. Later, Richie Rich's underlings will try to drop a deuce on the Lakers....

Your NHL Playoffs Open Thread
With a home victory tonight against the Flyers, the Boston Bruins would have an insurmountable lead in their conference-semifinal series. With a home loss against the Sharks, the Detroit Red Wings would have an impossibly deep deficit from which to emerge in the other conference....