pe Page 1069 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

We Are All Dave McKenna LXIII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit faces a shutdown of its own....

This Is A Masters Photo Unlike Any Other
A tipster sends along this photo apparently taken during Tuesday's practice round at Augusta, where the cast of Cocoon was hanging out....

We Can Infer From This Video That Heidi Watney Does Not Like Her Food Fried
Baseball's on-field reporters, much like NBA's sideline reporters, are often sent to ask asinine questions and do asinine things on camera. It's a part of the job. Today in Cleveland, as the Sox did indeed crawl their way into an 0-6 start, NESN sent Heidi Watney to try Progressive Field's chicken...

ESPN's Corporate Blog Finds Rock Bottom Somewhere In This Idiot's Office
If you're at all like me, you've avoided ESPN's in-house blog, Front Row, in much the same way you avert your eyes whenever a cat starts licking its own asshole. But this? This is just too much....

This Swedish Kid Sets The Standard For The Back-Flip Penalty Kick
In a game between FC Baar and FC Sempach, two youth clubs in Sweden, Baar's Joonas Jokinen debuted the back-flip penalty kick. We're quite certain this has never been done in a game before. A few places have referred to this as a "somersault" kick; we'll give young Joonas the credit he deserves....

We Are All Dave McKenna LXII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit gets ejected from the court system like the foul meconium that it is....

LeBron James Gets Stake In Liverpool, Joins Unofficial Club For The Filthy Rich
LeBron James is smiling because even after an embarrassing hour-long ESPN special this summer that maligned him to the majority of humans not residing in South Beach, and even after his hometown fans burned his Cleveland jerseys and turned his name into a curse word, and even after his new team face...

Watch Dejan Stankovic Air Out A Goal From Midfield
Inter Milan's Dejan Stankovic scored a goal just 20 seconds into a Champions League game against Schalke last night in Milan. More accurately, Stankovic fluidly picked the ball out of the air from midfield and sent it searing past Schalke goalkeeper Manuel Neuer with one touch. From fifty meters o...

We Are All Dave McKenna LXI
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit apologizes to us all for being written by lawyers who were clearly browbeaten by Dan Snyder into writing anything at all, given what a dumbas...

John McEnroe Will Swear At You For An Hour For Just $28,500
There's an online charity open through Thursday that will grant two lucky — I mean absurdly wealthy — people an hour-long tennis lesson with John McEnroe at Randall's Island in New York City. The bid is currently at $26,000. The money will go towards saving the earth (literally, I guess?), so we can...

EA Sports' <em>NBA Elite</em> Takes The Year Off, New <em>NBA Jam</em> Coming This Fall
After the disastrous, last minute cancellation of NBA Elite 11, Electronic Arts is keeping its basketball sim video game on the bench for another year, saying that it won't ship a new entry in the NBA Live/NBA Elite franchise until… [Kotaku] ...

Dookie’s Obnoxious “Open Letter” To Kyrie Irving As Obnoxious As You’d Expect
Last night's NCAA title game was horrible to watch, so thank goodness Chris Cusack of the Duke Chronicle, who was apparently born with a bronzed asshole, is sending the 2011 college basketball season out on a high note by writing this very hateable open letter to Kyrie Irving....

When European Basketball Fans Get Excited, They Light Their Stadiums On Fire
Here we were thinking VCU fans were having "riots" last week, but they're nothing compared to Panathinaikos BC fans. In this European basketball game last Thursday against Barcelona, Greek basketball fans torched their own stadium. Yes, what you see above is a basketball game — not a race riot....

UConn Provides An Official Celebration Video That Conveniently Excludes Rioting And Fire
A premiere research university like Connecticut has a certain image to uphold, even when its Division I basketball team wins a national championship and the entire student body goes apeshit crazy overnight. At UConn, this video suggests, students join together to peacefully sing "We Are the Champi...

This Year's "One Shining Moment" Includes Very Few Moments From The Title Game
Your morning roundup for April 5, the day Michael Jackson took watch over Fulham FC's stadium....

Your UConn-Butler NCAA Championship Open Thread
This one's for a considerable amount of the Tostitos. Will it be the likable Bulldogs, swiftly moving from giant-killers to giants? Or the Huskies, who haven't lost since we still considered the Big East fearsome?...

We Are All Dave McKenna LX
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit is shillelaghed into the hereafter....

Muppet Goalie Lawsuit? Muppet Goalie Lawsuit
Arsenal's Jens Lehmann is suing fellow goalie Tim Wiese of Werder Bremen for telling media Lehmann should "go to the Muppet Show" back in September. He's seeking $28,000....

Did The Clippers' PR Guy Scrub Donald Sterling's Wikipedia Page?
An eagle-eyed tipster alerts us to this revision on Donald Sterling's Wikipedia page, which scrubbed the six-part "Controversies" section but added some heartwarming notes....

We Are All Dave McKenna LIX
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit gets a good judicial colon cleansing. Today's topic: Charging people $15 to watch cheerleading tryouts....