pe Page 1104 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Starbury Rises in the East
I have no idea what these commentators are saying about Vice Admiral Starbury X. Marbury's MVP performance for the Chinese Basketball Association East All-Star Team, but Stephon surely does. Stephon always did....

Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater: Bobby Hurley
Welcome back to Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater. Today's entry: former Duke point guard Bobby Hurley synced up to Scandal's rollicking anthem, "The Warrior." Note the brilliant match-editing at the 1:01 mark. H/T TarHeelBlues ...

Armed Robbery Will Turn Stephen Jackson Into The NBA's Charles Bronson, Bobcats Beat Writer Thinks
The wife of Bobcats forward Stephen Jackson was held at gunpoint by home invaders, locked in a bathroom, and robbed in the couple's Charlotte home Wednesday. Trauma aside, she's fine. But don't tell that to Rick Bonnell of the Charlotte Observer....

Sportswriter Publicly Quits, Salts The Earth In His Wake
The Miami Herald's FIU beat writer figured out that his paper and his city (to say nothing of the world) care a hell of a lot more about The U than they do FIU. His scathing letter of resignation pulled no punches....

Minor League Baseball Will Be HGH Testing's Beachhead
We never thought we'd see the day, but an American professional sport has taken steps to detect, punish and deter HGH usage. Effective immediately, Minor League Baseball will test for it. This is big for our friends in the NFL, as well....

Manitoba Man Charged For Calling Police To Get Winnipeg Jets Back
The man "had apparently been drinking" when he made a series of 911 calls, demanding that the RCMP find a way to get the NHL back to Winnipeg. Gary Bettman is just behind Snidely Whiplash on their most-wanted list. [Winnipeg Free Press]...

The Truth About John Terry And Steven Gerrard Revealed
As pointed out many times, The Spoiler is very well connected, with a mob of secret squirrels all over the country, listening through boardroom walls with mini-pint jugs pressed to their ears, smoking endless cigarellos....

The Video You've Been Waiting For: An Alan Thicke-Hosted Aerobics Competition From The '80s
I cannot think of a reason why mediocre sitcom stars don't host bizarre pseudo-sport championship programs as often as they once did. Let's get Judd Hirsch in touch with the World's Strongest Man people, pronto. H/T Maddie....

Duke Basketball Fan Feels Persecuted, Part 7,938
"i've noticed that espn opens each sportscenter with championship snippets of the yankees, saints, lakers, alabama football, even uconn women's bball. hmmm. who's missing and is it intentional?" That's followed by the emoticon for "whining Little Lord Fauntleroy." [Duke Basketball Report]...

We Want To See Your Ironic NBA Jerseys (UPDATE)
Yesterday, we posted a quicklink to The Faster Times's gallery of indie bros wearing NBA jerseys at the Pitchfork Festival. It's a fascinating phenomenon, a game even, as if they're actively trying to wear the most ridiculous NBA jersey imaginable....

Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater: Jeremy Lin
Today's Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape-e: Harvard man and future D-Leaguer, Jeremy Lin cut to the Teshian rhythms and St. Louisan rhymes of Nelly's "Heart of A Champion." ...

Australian Cricket Player Stripped Of "Father Of The Year" Crown
The state of Victoria has rescinded Australian cricket legend Dean Jones's 2007 Father of the Year award after details of a nine-year affair with an "air hostess" surfaced. What sort of details, you say? Why a lovechild of course....

This Is Not Pete Rose's Corked Bat
MLB's all-time hits leader, who's not allowed to step foot into Cooperstown because he's an awful human being, keeps popping up places with his girlfriend — "the Pamela Anderson of Korea" — to show her off to people. [MyFoxNY]...

Rangers Pitcher Hit In Head With Comeback Liner
Tonight in the bottom of the 6th, Rangers reliever Dustin Nippert took a hard liner to the head courtesy of the Tigers' Austin Jackson. Nippert seemed shaken but ultimately walked himself off. He is currently listed as day-to-day, according to MLB.com....

Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater: Devin Gardner
Welcome back to Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater. Today's subject: Michigan Wolverine Devin Gardner and all his snaps during the UM spring game, set to Bing Crosby's "Temptation" and "Hawaiian War Chant."...

Miguel Ángel Jiménez Wins The British Open Trick Shot Competition
Miguel Ángel Jiménez will never have to buy...whatever his drink of choice is after this shot Saturday. On 17—the affectionately named Road Hole—he had no choice but to Tin Cup it off the wall onto the green. Smooth, MAJ. Smooth....

Tiger Woods Is Back To Cussing At Himself
Over the weekend, Tiger didn't perform as well as he had planned and, following a missed putt, decided to let the obscenities fly. While oddly familiar, we are glad to see Tiger getting his act together on the green. [Devil Ball Golf]...

Dwyane Wade's World Trade Center Reference And Other Great Moments In 9/11 Sports Analogies
Dwyane Wade's questionable World Trade Center reference he gave to Fanhouse briefly set off hyper-sensitivity alarms everywhere, but it wasn't even that awful compared to some of the other ones we've seen recently....

Angry Footballer Attempts To Strangle The Ref
It's not easy being a ref, especially when a player attempts a WWE "sleeper hold" to stop you from producing a red card. It makes you wonder, had the ref passed out as intended, would Pedrozo have casually stayed on the pitch?...

Looking Back On It, ESPN Editor Was Very Impressed With ESPN Event
If you're curious what a lame, easily starstruck ESPN shill sounds like after he's been put in close proximity to Very Famous People, please read this wet fart of a column by Page 2 factotum and pizza critic Lynn Hoppes....