pe Page 1103 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Startling Penalty Miss Alert: Spanish Second Division Edition
Mind doctors will tell you that the key to a decent penalty is a technique called "positive visualisation". Mehmet Aurelio is not at the forefront of this practice....
Look At This Fucking Hoopster; Or, The Decline Of Western Civilization
Previously we noticed the uptick in hipsters wearing NBA jerseys and asked for your help in exposing more of these monsters. You did not disappoint. So click around and just look at these fucking hoopsters....
Pick Against The Youngstown State Penguins At Your Own Risk, Pollsters
Here's coach, on their 7th place MVC ranking: "In some parts of this world we live in, if you disrespect someone, you may lose your life. Right or wrong. I don't handle disrespect well, and I'm sure my players won't either." [MyValleySports]...
Hockey Goon Wants to "Change the World"
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
World's Best Soccer Player Forms Universe's Worst Bro-Band Tribute Band
It was looking good for futbol to get some American respect. It's looking less good today....
Tyreke Evans Feels, Exploits the Need for Speed
Ignore the timeline: Coach K's refusal to allow Tyreke Evans to represent his country in the FIBA World Championships (July 28) is directly to blame for the Rookie of the Year's 120-plus mph Cali Cannonball Run (May 31)....
Steve Sarkisian Taunts Lane Kiffin With Cellphone Picture
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: everyone's favorite embattled college football coach: Lane Kiffin....
John Salley Story Corner: "Strap It Up And No Kissing"
Every week, John Salley, onetime Bad Boy and currently the arachnoid half of the Spider and the Henchman podcast, will regale us with an amusing and occasionally salacious story from his playing days. Today: why you shouldn't lip-kiss NBA groupies....
Is Bryce Harper's Facebook Page Real?
The Washington Post asks the same question, but Harper's page appears to be so good it has to be a parody. Whoever it is, they sure love putting exclamation points and various : ) emoticons in their updates. Maybe he's a 13-year-old girl?...
Man In A Banana Suit Using A Citi Field Urinal? Man In A Banana Suit Using A Citi Field Urinal.
When you're emailed a picture with the subject line "Mets game tonight" and the body reads "Banana suit" and the text is highlighted, you post the picture of the man wearing a banana suit using the urinal at Citi Field....
The Scapegoating Of Arash Markazi
I suppose ESPN's explanation here is reasonable, but is it any less damning than all those black-helicopter theories floating around for the WWL to say, in essence, "Our glimpses into the lives of famous people must be authorized"?...
Sen. Jim Bunning, R-Pluto, Thinks Stephen Strasburg Is A Wuss
Bunning, onetime pitcher and current obstreperous shitbag, waggled his cane yesterday at young Strasburg: "Five-hundred twenty starts, I never refused the ball. What a joke!" Then he clutched his shoulder and cried, "My arm!" That was either sarcasm or thrombosis. [Politico, via]...
Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater: Some MMA Guy
Welcome back to Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater, the occasional feature in which athlete highlights are synced to somewhat inappropriate music. Today, a twist: "highlights" of MMA fighter and loudmouth Chael Sonnen tapping out, set to the propulsive "Hate Me Now" by Nas....
Here Are Your Pope-In-A-Baseball-Cap Photoshops
We're cutting the gallery off now, because we don't need to spend all night looking at Benedict XVI's face in our inbox. But feel free to post your creations in the comments. And congrats to all of you; you win respect....
The First Annual Pope-In-A-Baseball-Cap Photoshop Contest
His Holiness Pope Benedict XVI was photographed out and about rocking a baseball cap, with an impressively curved brim. You know the deal. Do your best photoshop work, send it in, and we'll feature the best at a later date....
Everyone, Everywhere Has To Do Some Cheating, Says NFL Agent
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: NFL agent Ralph Cindrich....
Where Does Sergio Kindle Rank On A List Of Great Falling-Down-Stairs Moments?
The Ravens rookie tumbled down not one, but two flights of stairs. He's in stable condition with a head injury, and will be fine. Kindle, LB, Texas. MUST IMPROVE: basic motor functions....
Martellus Bennett Becomes Latest Player To Have Dong Shots Exposed By Scorned Female
Last week, Cowboy beat reporters wondered why Bennett was absent from the first few days of mini-camp. Bennett admitted yesterday he sprained his ankle doing "jump-ball" drills. Today, a cellphone pic self-portrait of him posing in the shower arrives....
Here's Video of Ron-Ron Artest Learning to Play Dodgeball
Wasn't there, but I think he's the tall fellow with the red headband hiding behind the little girl. You know, like he does at the Staples Center. Zing!...