pe Page 1139 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Tiger Woods To Miss The Cut At British Open
Woods had two double bogeys on the back nine to finish +5, but the projected cut is 4-over. Only his second missed cut at major since turning pro. Old Tom Watson somehow still tied for the lead. [Open Championship]...

Surprise! No One Cares That Manny Ramirez Used PEDs
Manny came back to Mannywood last night, and the fake dreadlocked Dodger fans welcomed him back with open arms, much to the consternation of you know who....

Angry Scotsmen Overshadow Actual Golf At British Open
We've got all eyes on Tiger and a 17-year-old phenom, and we've got Tom Watson nearly shooting his age. But what the British Open really needed was a good catfight....

In Which We Attempt To Translate British Journalism
If the English language isn't yet universal, then the verse of sports should be. I've never understood, then, why it is that I can't comprehend a word of 19th-century British newspapers....

North Korean Heir Is Basically That Guy You Knew In 1996 Who Always Wore A Toni Kukoc Jersey
The presumptive heir to North Korean crazy person Kim Jong Il and all his crappy missiles is a brooding 26-year-old who apparently loves basketball in general and a certain Croatian point-forward in particular....

Tom Watson And His New Eyes Take Early Lead At British Open
Watson shot a 65 in the first round. Others in contention include Mark O'Meara and Mark Calcavecchia. No, you didn't accidentally get sucked into a wormhole. [Fanhouse]...

Fox's Marketing Ploy May Have Been More Evil Than Previously Thought
It's bad enough that stupid Yuppie Gollum was nothing but a promotional stunt, but this is so much worse: A reader reports that Yuppie Gollum wasn't even at the All-Star Game. I'll let that sink in....

Warning: Don't Give Sidney Crosby Money On MySpace
Believe it or not, Sidney Crosby's MySpace page does not actually belong to Sidney Crosby! Oh, and if you gave the person who does run that page $500 to help save a park, you're an idiot....

Nancy Boys Play Like ... Well, Nancy Boys
Look, when you play for a soccer team from a town named Nancy, headlines like this are inevitable. (What editor could resist?) Especially when you run away from swine flu like a team of little girls. [ESPN]...

Terrell Owens Suddenly Remembers He Has This Thing He Has To Be At
I was surprised to learn "The Superstars" was actually on last night, opposite the All-Star Pregame. (Counterprogramming!) Thanks to the magic of time travel, I have learned that the episode was way more pointless than usual....

Yes, This Creepy Person Was a Marketing Ploy By Fox
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Sex, Gambling and Gluttony In The Morning. And Some Sports.
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Journeyman Wide Receivers Make You Question Your Mortality
Derrick Mason retired yesterday. He is my favorite Spartan football player of all time. We both graduated from Michigan State in the same year. He had a productive 12-year NFL career. I do this....

Why Pete Rose Didn't Ruin Ray Fosse's Career
No list of All-Star memories is complete without Pete Rose's decision to lower the boom on Ray Fosse, single-handedly destroying the young catcher's career in 1970. Unfortunately for the enemies of hustle, that's not quite how the story goes....

Tour de France Riders Forced To Perform Without Mechanical Supplements
The Tour de France tried an "experiment" today—banning radios that allow coaches and team leaders to communicate with their riders during the race. It's almost like they expect these athletes to use their own brains!...

Pedro Martinez: Philadelphia Phillies
Level of excitement had this happened in 2004: 9. Level of excitement in 2009: 4. Still? Number of red Martinez jersey-shirts sold at Modell's over the weekend?: 8,016 [Cherry Hill Courier Post/PHOTO: EveryJoe]...

Report: Unnamed Amorous Ballplayer Plays For Team That Appropriately Doesn't Know How To Score
Onetime declared virgin Jeff Pearlman knows which baseball player was cold mackin' on an intern in Houston recently, but he's not telling. All he'll say is that the ballplayer was — are you ready for this? — a Washington National....

David Beckham Deserves An Imaginary Nobel Peace Prize
"If [he] had spoken out about Iraq it wouldn't have happened," said Jon McClure, frontman of the The Reverend and The Makers, of Becks. "Or Britain certainly wouldn't have got involved." So that's what The Beckham Experiment is about. [PA]...

Was That A Great UFC 100 Or What? (No, Really, Tell Me)
Not to break wind on the parade of the 18-35 male demographic, but it seemed from this comfy couch that everyone was watching UFC 100 because everyone else was....

Yeah, But You Still Have To Live In Pennsylvania
Quaker staters, use your hand to shield your eyes from your three championship trophies, together for the first time. And take your other hand out of your pants. [Pittsburgh Post-Gazette]...