pe Page 1138 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Catch That Saved Mark Buehrle's Perfect Game
DeWayne Wise—a ninth-inning defensive replacement—robs Gabe Kapler of a home run (nearly dropping the ball in the process) and saving the day for pitcher Mark Buehrle. That's what we in the business call "clutch." [Video via Comcast]...
And Now, Let's Jinx Mark Buehrle Is Unjinxable (UPDATE)
Mark Buehrle is six three outs away from a perfect in Chicago. Twenty-seven up, 27 down. With no walks, hit batsmen or errors! First perfect game in the big leagues since 2004. [Gamecast]...
What Did Jim Parque Do Wrong Again?
Former White Sox pitcher Jim Parque has a very lengthy mea culpa in the Chicago Sun-Times today, apologizing to his teammates, family, the entire sporting world, several deities, and his barber, because he took HGH for a month in 2003....
Jay Mariotti On Erin Andrews, AutoSummarized
"Why was the Internet ... giving semi-lives to people with no lives?" thunders Mariotti, who writes for the Internet. The column goes on in this vein for 1,500 words. Let's send this through Microsoft Word's AutoSummarize function, shall we?...
<i>New York Post</i>: ESPN Made Us Exploit Naked Lady
The New York Post is taking their ESPN: The Banning like men. Men who use the gossip pages to settle grudges and blame everyone else for their obsession with naked sideline reporters....
And Here's The Front Page Of Tomorrow's <em>New York Post</em>
Amazingly, Busted Coverage's ridiculous giant penis-wielding bachelorette story was completely true. This photo tells the tale: the daring lass staring down the determined Tahoe sheriff as Michael Jordan cautiously avoids a messy inflatable dong confrontation. Yay America....
Look! It's Godzilla's Helmet!
"He was in great humor, which is always when he's the best, most likable Alex," Selena Roberts wrote in A-Rod. And that was before he turned a helmet into a wedding bouquet and himself into a desperate bachelorette....
ESPN Ignoring Biggest Stories Of The Day (IMPORTANT UPDATES)
Without much trouble, you could probably puzzle out what the two most talked about stories are today....but can you also deduce why The Worldwide Leader hasn't mentioned either one? (UPDATES BELOW)...
How $600 Worth Of Equipment Put Perv In Erin Andrews' Hotel Room
It's only a matter of time before the cops and Chief Inspector Don Chavez crack this thing wide open. When they do, they'll find someone who needed $600 worth of gadgetry and a penknife to screw with Erin Andrews' life....
Giant Inflatable Penis Owner Explains Herself, Giant Inflatable Penis
Many will remember this year's American Century Championship for Tony Romo's valiant efforts and Rick Rhoden's continued dominance of the tournament, but the big, bright shining star of Saturday's action was a six-foot dong peeking over Michael Jordan's shoulder....
The Futile Hunt For The Source Of The Erin Andrews Peephole Video
Someone broke the law when they sneakily—and creepily—filmed ESPN's Erin Andrews naked in her hotel room and now amateur sleuths are out to catch the culprit and bring him to justice....
The One Good Thing About Tom Watson Losing The British Open
If there's one silver lining to Tom Watson's agonizing 2nd place finish at the British Open yesterday, it's that we are now spared from old people suddenly thinking they are somehow useful again....
Sports Psychologist Takes Full Credit For Stewart Cink
Who is really to blame for "stepping on a Hall of Famer's neck" and ruining golf forever by not laying down for Tom Watson. Not that jerk Stewart Cink. Send a note to Dr. Morris Pickens, famous sports psychologist, instead....
Well, That Was Anticlimactic
Congratulations, Stewart Cink, on your first major championship. Too bad no one cares. Do you remember who beat Jean Van de Velde in '99? All we'll remember from Turnberry is Tom Watson missing an 8-footer for the Claret Jug....
Tom Watson Still 59, Still Leading The Open Yeah, About That...
Three holes to go, and the old man is up by a stroke. Let's hope he doesn't have one before he enters the clubhouse. [PGA Leaderboard]...
Ross, You're A Heckuva Lot More Likely To Have Another Child Than Win Another Open
Ross Fisher, currently near the top at the Open, is ready to scurry off the course at any moment should his wife go into labor. "Hopefully, I can hang on for one more day, and hopefully she can." [NY Post]...
Open Caption: Yep, That's An Oscar Mayer Wiener
"An Oscar Meyer Wienermobile crashed into the home and outdoor deck. The vehicle was parked in the driveway. The driver lurched the vehicle forward instead of backing out of the driveway, hitting the deck and cracking the house's foundation." [Strib]...
Erin Andrews' Attorney Speaks
Well, the mystery is solved, I guess. Yes, that was Erin Andrews on the video circulating around. Yes, they're pressing charges. The direct quote from the attorney circulating via PR newswire after the jump:...
ESPN Lawyers Try To Smoke Out Creepy Amateur Peephole Videographer (Update)
Yesterday a video posted on the site NSFW POA hinted that a naked blonde woman videotaped through a hotel peephole was a popular sports personality. ESPN lawyers pounced. Maybe we should mention the woman looks like Erin Andrews....
Why Your Stadium Sucks: Busch Stadium
This is a weekly feature in which I (and maybe you, too, readers) detail the various reasons for hating your ballpark. This week: The St. Louis Cardinals' Busch Stadium....