pe Page 1164 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Fascinating Things You Probably Don't Want to Know: Skip Bayless Is Ripped
Skip Bayless is easy to despise for many reasons, most of which stem from the fact that he walked away from a very encouraging career as a print journalist for a new, more lucrative one as...whatever he does by senselessly arguing on "First Take." But would it make him more or less tolerable if you ...

USC Wins Hypothetical Playoff According To Vegas Odds
Leave it to Las Vegas to sate all our needs. Even those we didn't know we had before. (I'm looking at you midget escort service.) Everyone knows that the idea of a playoff is so awfully complicated that it would require a Manhattan Project-level commitment before anything could happen. Or, you know...

It's Giant Balls Vs. Dwight Schrute For Hearts And Minds On Super Bowl Sunday
In a bold frontal attack that makes Pickett's charge look like a game of Red Rover and the Normandy Invasion seem like a visit from the grandparents, ABC will storm NBC's programming fortress on Super Bowl Sunday with the intent of stealing ever viewer possible. Their weapon? The obstacle course she...

Derrick Rose Injured In Freak Apple Peeling Incident
Derrick Rose's NBA career is off to a phenomenal start. The number one overall pick is averaging 18 points and six assists so far in his rookie year, he's already become the leader of his Chicago Bulls squad, and his highlight reel moves are electrifying crowds across the land. It seems the only thi...

Federal Judge Blocks NFL Suspensions
Have you made your NFL picks for this weekend? (Just for fun! No money, right?) You might want to hold off on a couple of those games, since a few of the rosters won't be finalized until a judge makes up his mind about the suspensions of the six players who received four-game bans for using an illeg...

How The Gruden Stole Christmas
So are we pretty much agreed that the Big Three in Christmas specials are The Grinch, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and A Charlie Brown Christmas? (Apologies to Will Leitch). Well, one of these will not be seen in the Tampa Bay area as scheduled on Monday, as ABC is pre-empting A Charlie Brown Chri...

Philly Bluntness
So, not to get all sappy, but it would be really great if any of you Philly-based Deadspinners (or those from other parts of the country with kind souls) would take the time to read this piece about freelance journalist Brian Hickey. He's one of the smartest people on the planet, friend to many, a ...

Rudy Carpenter Still Having Trouble Behaving At Basketball Games
Folks may remember Arizona State quarterback Rudy Carpenter and his preference for not-gay pink shirts. Well, it seems that going psycho at college basketball games isn't enough juice for Rudy, so he took his act on the road—and recently got himself ejected from the gym at a girl's high school baske...

OK Baby Mangino; Prepare For The Terrible Retribution Of Baby JoePa
As Baby Mangino stomps through the SHOTY competition leaving terror and thousands of empty Gerber jars in his wake, many were beginning to doubt that anything could stop him. We were looking for a hero, and now, at the 11th hour, we may have found one. Indroducing Baby JoePa, who, like the original,...

Jamboroo, Week 14. Featuring Enhanced TV Graphics, The Hollywood Knights, Anthrax, And The TPIR Mountain Climber
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs, well, every Thursday afternoon during the NFL season. Drew's new book, "Men With Balls," featuring 100% new material, is available in stores and online here, and makes a lovely Christmas gift for the chronic masturbator in your life. You ...

Please Watch Your Footing NHL Fans; We Can't Afford To Lose Any Of You
Here is palatial Scotiabank Place, home of the Ottawa Senators and, unfortunately, the scene of a rather spectacular accident on Wednesday night in the upper deck. As the Sens toiled against the Atlanta Thrashers below, a gentleman was lugging beers to his seat when he stumbled and went a-sailin' cl...

NFL Suspends Six Players Under Cover Of Night
So while the rest of the sports world was preoccupied last night with sweatpants and second helpings and trading contracts (and also some things are not related to Charlie Weis) the NFL decided to hide another little nugget of fun in the 6:00 p.m. news dump. Six players—including half of the Minneso...

Apparently, The NHL Won't Stand for Sean Avery's Sloppy Seconds
Well, that was quick. After Dallas Stars agitator Sean Avery made those charming comments about "sloppy seconds" this morning to TSN, the NHL suspended him indefinitely. So his valiant return to Canada against the Calgary Flames this evening will have to wait a little while longer. Just to recap, th...

Plaxico Burress Suspended For The Rest Of The Season
The New York Giants waited until the very end of the day to announce that Plaxico Burress will in fact be placed on the "non-football injury list." This is effectively a suspension that removes him from the Giants roster for the remainder of the regular season and the playoffs, and (unlike injured r...

Introducing the Deadspin Customer Service Hotline
2008 has been quite a year of change for Deadspin. Leitch out, Daulerio in. Exit Weintraub, enter Waxing Off. Goodbye Iracane, Hello Gaines. Yes, AJ has graciously asked me to step in and provide Deadspin with the same mediocre level of combudsmanship I've been providing for the past 4 months over ...

"Operation Shutdown" (Still) Proceeding As Planned
Former Blue Jay/Padre/Astro/Met/Pirate Derek Bell was arrested last night in his hometown of Tampa and charged with four counts of possession of drug paraphernalia. It was his second drug-related arrest in three years and I haven't read a lot of statements we've read that are sadder than "Arrest rec...

Newspapers Are Revelant And Helpful, Particularly If You Like Ike
On Thanksgiving morning, I picked up a copy of the Columbus (Ga.) Ledger-Enquirer, the daily paper round those parts. I did it out of habit; I was eating an English muffin and needed something to do with my other hand. Whatever your thoughts about the newspaper industry, I think we can all agree tha...

Drew Rosenhaus Is A Master At The Art of Circumlocution
The Deadspin Morning Video Wake Up Call will return through the holidays. If you have any suggested videos to fill this space, email us. Subject: Morning Video Wake Up Call....

Plaxico Burress Takes The Perp Walk
A loyal Deadspin reader who we will call "Ray," waited out the 17th Precinct in Midtown Manhattan today to catch one of the most time-honored traditions in sports—the athlete perp walk. Citizen journalism!...

When I Think Of Alluring Fragrances, I Think Of College Football
Looking for perfume for your sweetie for Christmas? Then you'll want to spring for the best, and what woman wouldn't want to go out on the town smelling like a Rose Bowl-eligible football team? Introducing Penn State fragrances for men and women. Ahh, smells like victory. Or Joe Patero's loafers....