pe Page 1167 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

ESPN's Pedro Gomez Drives America's Young Female Population to Lesbianism
I was going to do something about the Phillies here but since Sussman will be live-blogging it tonight and it's come to my attention that there are many, many, many Deadspin readers who despise the abundance of Philadelphia coverage that's invaded this site since my unwelcome takeover, I chose this ...

College Football Roundup: Chase Daniel and Warren Buffett Are Boyzzz
The most shocking image of the college football weekend occurred in the second half of Missouri-Nebraska. And it had nothing to do with the fact that Missouri hung 52 on Nebraska before the third quarter ended. It was finding out that Missouri’s chubby and short quarterback who will win the Heisman...

Meet The Man Who Felled Kimbo
And now, a personal pictorial review of the guy who knocked out Kimbo Slice. A self described "goofy homo" whose dream is to open a chain of Smoothie Kings. ...

College Football Preview: Y'all Better Recognize Joe Pa Wants His Daps, Yo
The eyes of the college football world shift to Nashville, Tennessee this weekend where the mighty Vanderbilt Commodores will be hosting Auburn. This is a huge game for Vandy. The last time they beat Auburn was 1955, the same year that Rosa Parks instituted her bus boycott in Montgomery. Yep, black ...

Dustin Pedroia: Enemy of the Geese
Dustin Pedroia's stat lines this season have no doubt caught the eyes of fantasy baseball geeks, but his road to approach teammates like Big Papi in superstar status has been a bit tougher. Of course, everything's tougher when you're only five foot nothing. A profile in today's Boston Globe tells ta...

Stomp The Yard: These Mascot Groupies Could Be Yours Next Season
OK, your wish to become the Boston Red Sox mascot didn't work out so well. Life seldom affords second chances, but here's an exception. Play your cards right, and you could be the next Stomper, costumed mascot of the Oakland Athletics! Get to work on that cover letter! (This is true: You'll need a c...

Chipper Is Cold-Blooded, Giggly
Forgive my Judaism, but I've never been known to partake in the sport of trophy hunting, especially when the trophy is so deliciously nonkosher. However after seeing this video of Chipper Jones I have to say it looks like a good ole' time. What's not to like about a sport that combines the fun of ...

The Death Of The Black Quarterback. Jamboroo, Week 3
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs, well, every Thursday afternoon during the NFL season. Drew's new book, "Men With Balls," released October 27th and featuring 100% new material, is available for pre-order here. You can email Drew here. Read him during the week at KSK. Wi...

Cubs Chase Old Man Off Their Lawn
Awhile ago we told you the story of Leo Hildebrand, the 104-year-old Cubs fan whose one big wish was to throw out the first pitch for a game at Wrigley Field. Of course he'd probably need a relay man, and a diaper change to complete the task. But still, how could the Cubs deny the only person in Chi...

Another Senseless Streaking Tragedy
Nathan Roberts is a player on the Virginia B Grade Australian soccer team, but is sidelined due to "fluid in his lungs, pneumonia and an inflamed liver and spleen." This didn't stop him from streaking at a recent match between United and Hummocks Watchman Eagles, however. Watch the fun here as Robe...

Excerpt: "Boys Will Be Boys" By Jeff Pearlman
"Boys Will Be Boys", Jeff Pearlman's fascinating account of the glory days of the Cowboys dynasty is making the media rounds this week and we will happily join in to promote it. It is ridiculously entertaining. Yes, Charles Haley is the star, but there is so much more to it than just his dong-flappi...

Tyler Thigpen Will Guide The Chiefs To Victory Right After He Finishes Making Gentle Back Door Love To This Skeleton
What better way to kick off your Wednesday evening then to have Chiefs' new starting quarterback Tyler Thigpen mock rear-entering a skeletal model. Maybe Coastal Carolina University had just recently generated enough funding to support a human anatomy class and he was just overly excited. Remember, ...

Time To Check In On Everyone's Favorite New York Baseball Feud
Two reasons that the Yankees-Red Sox playoff brawl of 2003 may have been the best baseball fight of all time: 1. Don Zimmer body-slam goodness, and how often do you see that? And 2., we continue to reap fantastic quotes, even five years later. In an interview with Michael Kay for the YES Network pro...

Florida's Percy Harvin Is Healthy...Hasn't Felt This Good Since 10th Grade
I'm ashamed to admit I've been following the tribulations of Percy Harvin and his heel way too closely. Hoping against hope that he'd be too dinged up early in the season to play against my Vols. Up until recently the enigmatic health situation of Harvin seemed promising, maybe he would be slowed a...

Pole Dancing: The Next Olympic Sport?
One of the major concerns of the IOC over the past few years has been how to garner interest in the Olympics among today's youth. There's been a trend to try and make Olympic sports a bit edgier. For instance, BMX racing and Snowboarding are now featured and there's been some discussion around skate...

Michael Phelps Outshone By Tina Fey in Quest for Comedic Gold
When Michael Phelps took center stage in Beijing, he dominated the competition in the pool over and over. His ability to step up at the Olympics, on the biggest stage of his sport, was unprecedented. But when he took the stage last night in New York as host of NBC’s Saturday Night Live, it was clear...

Red Bull and Vodka Fueled High Jumper To Be Suspended for a Year?
Last week, we brought you the story of Ivan Ukhov, the high jumper whose drunken jump has exploded on the internets. More than a million people have watched the you tube video which we've handily relinked for you below. Now comes news that mother Russia is not pleased with him. In fact, they're ang...

Inevitable Trojan Blowout In LA Saturday Night Will Be A Star-Studded Affair
This weekend, I'm actually flying out to see Ohio State attempt to not get completely white-washed out of the Coliseum this Saturday night. (Current line, OSU getting 10.5. Not gonna be enough, methinks.) Even if this is a colossal ass-kicking, this will be my first big-time college football game I'...

The Papelbon Dirty Dancing Videos Are Here. Oh, Man
If the Red Sox fail to win the East this season — and let's face it, it's looking more and more doubtful — we can probably blame this. One is never really prepared for a video of Jonathan Papelbon at a high school talent show performing Dirty Dancing routines in drag; it's just a shock to the system...

After 21 Months Living in the Trees, Cal-Berkeley Tree Protesters Removed
Yeah, 21 months. The protest began when Cal announced that they were planning a $124 million dollar expansion of athletic facilities just outside their football stadium. The tree-sitters decided the 42 campus trees had to be protected and have been living in their branches ever since. For almost two...