pe Page 1166 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Going For Gold At The Peasant Olympics
You didn't think that China spent $500 million of our hard-earned mortgage debt on the Bird's Nest just so some namby pamby athletes could run around inside it for two weeks and then let it sit empty, did you? There are plenty of other athletic contests that can be held there. Like the popular and e...
See Look, I Can Still Blow Even In Such A Puffy Coat
Michael Bertin writes regularly about soccer for Deadspin So I was Superman for Halloween. And, once in costume, I had this great idea, I would start flying from east to west really, really fast. That would reverse the spin of the Earth and time would start moving backwards. I'd go until Wednesday—...
World's Worst Boxer Is Down For The Long, Excruciating Count
British welterweight Peter Buckley gets knocked down, but he gets up again, and they ain't never gonna keep him down. At least not until after his next fight, the 300th of his career, which he says will be his last. That's an impressive number of professional bouts, but not nearly as impressive as h...
Stand Up For Joe Blanton!
Okay. This has been a fun weekend. Don't really know what to say right now. I'm sure it'll all be covered in blogdome. But for now, for those who were there tonight, well, you know what this photo means. Maybe. For those who don't, well, it's just a photo of Jessica Biel. Everybody wins! And there'...
Happy Valley, Bloody Sunday Morning
How long must we sing this DUAN? College football team has unusual amount of success; college students and townies with a taste for danger stumble into the streets; police break out the riot juice; hilarity ensues. Welcome back to the club, Penn State! Your celebration after last night's defeat of O...
David Stern Invites Seattle to Watch Their Ex-Girlfriend With New Boyfriend
On the weekend before the NBA finally returns to action after its six-week sabbatical after the NBA Finals, we must take one more moment to remember one city that will not be joining the rest of us in our journey this season as Oklahoma City tries to pretend they can support both an NBA franchise an...
Over 1700 Endurance Racers Go Temporarily Missing in Flood
Despite receiving warnings from local authorities, the organizers of the Original Mountain Marathon (an exxxtreme endurance event in England, to be exact) plowed forward with the race this weekend. Unfortunately, they didn't have Bud Selig's weathermen on staff, so they had to switch the race midway...
Ashley Todd Is Your New Mike Cooper
This is Ashley Todd. Ashley recently made some news when she was was mugged near at ATM by "a dark-skinned black man" who, after finding out she supported John McCain, carved a "B" on her face for some kind of pro-Obama viral ad campaign. However, the cops got kind of suspicious when they saw the B...
College Football Preview: Check Your Messages Knowshon
LSU fans aren't only the most insane in college football, they're also the most resourceful. Perhaps insanity and resourcefulness aren't conflicting traits after all. Why do I say this? Because for the second year in a row LSU fans have made the cell phone lives of their opponents miserable. You'll ...
LA Times Sports Writer Chooses Not to Lop Off Penis; Paper is Thrilled
LA Times sports writer Mike Penner made national news last year when he wrote his "Old Mike, New Christine" column about his life as a transsexual and his decision to undergo surgery so he could become "Christine Daniels" for the rest of his journalism career. Well, just like a fickle woman, Mike ch...
Jake Peavy Would Prefer to Run And Hit And Sing and LAUGH AND LOVE!
The rumours about Jake Peavy's longing to stop wearing camouflage continue to churn along. The Padres ace, who went 10-11 last year despite having an era of only 2.85 (in case you were wondering why he wouldn't mind a trade), has apparently shortlisted his, um, list of desirable teams to five: the B...
USC Receiver's Dad to Pete Carroll: "Treat My Boy!"; Grandma: "You're Drama!"
Odd little story coming out of Trojan land - USC wide receiver Vidal Hazelton's dad is apparently none too happy with how the team's medical staff has dealt with his son's injuries. So much so that Dexter Hazelton took to putting pen to paper in an angry letter sent directly to Coach Pete Carroll, u...
College Football Preview: Colt McCoy and Chase Daniel Duel for Rights to All The Oil in Texas (And the Heisman)
Back when I wrote that I couldn’t wait to watch the BYU-TCU game, I meant it. Completely. But what I forgot was that I’d be on the road in a hotel room. I don’t know why it is but hotels have the most erratic cable channel selections known to man. If you’re anything like me you’ve found yourself ly...
Brent Musburger Offers Some Troubling News About Joe Paterno
Yesterday, ABC sportscaster Brent Musburger popped by the Dan Patrick show to talk about all things college football and one of the topics that came up was the remarkable success of Penn State this season under 82-year-old head coach Joe Paterno. But then the conversation turned a little grim. Musbu...
Economic Meltdown Provides Small Silver Lining Seattle Sonics Fans
In these troubled times that we live in, people need to focus on the little things that help get them through their day. The laughter of a child, the good health of loved ones, and the delicious schadenfreude of watching greedy corporate bastards lose a billion dollars or so right after stealing you...
Hey, Wait A Minute, Didn't Braylon Edwards Go To Michigan?
Here's Cleveland wide receiver Braylon Edwards proudly representing the school logo ... unfortunately though, it's the wrong school. We know that the Wolverines have been struggling lately, but Penn State, a Big Ten rival? That's cold, man. Edwards channeled the JoePa mojo to catch five passes for 1...
Evan Longoria's Not Making a Lot of Amigos at ESPNDeportes
Nice catch by Shysterball, about a minor controversy from Evan Longoria's Eva Longoria-filled interview with Big League Stew's Dave Brown earlier this month. It stemmed from this question, where Brown pithily asked who on the team should not sport a Rayhawk: ...
30 Previews In 30 Days: The Los Angeles Clippers
NBA training camps have begun; the season is rapidly approaching. Can you dig it? I knew that you could. And so we continue our previews: 30 of them in 30 days. Up next is a team that seems destined to be the ugly, bowlegged stepsister of the NBA: The Los Angeles Clippers.When last we saw them: Fini...
Peyton Manning Kind Of Awkward In A Public Setting
Let's all get together and laugh at a famous person acting like a real human being! To be fair, it's not really Peyton's fault. The only thing more awkward than watching someone rock out at a concert is watching a guy's face while he masturbates to Internet porn — the spastic motions, the furrowed ...