pe Page 1185 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Revenge Of The Duke Hobbits
Jonah Keri writes the college basketball closer (more or less) daily. E-mail your questions, comments or Clarence Ceasar-related memories to [email protected]....

SportsCenter Anchors Now Just Shopping At The Catchphrase Store
Seriously, the ESPN Catchphrase, we hesitate to say, used to mean something. (And by that, we mean that it strategically meant nothing.) But now, they're just throwing shit out there; it wouldn't surprise us to learn the Romney campaign paid for it....

Solving The Mystery Of Eli Manning
OK, let's get real now: Eli Manning is really one game away from the Super Bowl? We thought he was more into squash. What's going on?...

Politician On A Mission To Rid Toledo Of Any And All Peckers
So, big sports news here in Toledo. After the minor league hockey team went on hiatus, they're returning soon, along with an arena football team, in a brand new sports arena. And here's where you start caring, because the new football team might be called the Toledo Peckerheads....

Note To Self: Don't Kiss Any Dudes In Louisville
This photo is not a snapshot of two inspired basketball players, in the midst of battle, celebrating a victory hard-earned. Nope. This photo is trying to make you gay....

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its wittiest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

Glen Rice Is Concerned With His Estranged Wife's System For Utilizing Closet Space
We haven't caught up with former NBA All-Star Glen Rice for a while. What's he up to? Playin' some golf? Sellin' some cars? Well, no. He's walking into his estranged wife's home and finding a guy hiding in the closet. Uh-oh....

Little People Wrestling At Northwestern
The video above is an advertisement for Half Print Brawlers, which advertises that "midgets bleed for your enjoyment." Well, we suppose that's truth in advertising....

The Stars Come Out For The Australian Open
For the majority of her yearly tournament appearances, 17-year-old Austrian tennis star Tamira Paszek manages to keep the twins indoors, as they say. (OK, no one says that but me). But when the Australian Open rolls around, things change. She's out there, Jerry! And she's lovin' every minute of it...

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning for its wittiest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

At Least One Super Bowl Ad Won't Be Funny
I've just been wired an announcement from the Department of Stuff We Already Friggin' Learned In Third Grade: drugs are bad for you and they're illegal. Did you know they're illegal? They're also bad for you. Apparently the DSWAFLTG is not on the same page with the WHONDCP (White House Office of Nat...

It Is Time, Once Again, To Wank For A Cause
It's the news you dared not hope was true: Nearly 10 years after it was introduced in San Francisco, the Masturbate-A-Thon is making its triumphant return. To The Netherlands! What took you so long, Dutch people? (Carl Monday dons raincoat, sounds the Action 4 News Team alert). Oh, like you had anyt...

Nebraska's New Coach Is Quite Handsome
A reader who went to the BCS Championship Game sends in this photo of former LSU defensive coordinator and new Nebraska coach Bo Pelini, rocking the French Quarter at 3 a.m....

We Are Now Invading Your Porn
This arrived in our mailbox yesterday. (Via what the kids are calling "snail mail.") We had no idea it was coming. On newsstands now....

The Finnish Love Scottie Pippen
His team is Helsinki ToPo, and with Pippen, the ToPos are 2-0. Pippen is averaging 10.5 pts and 8 boards in 26 minutes. But his game has changed a bit; he chucked up 16 3-pointers in those games, hitting only two. He shoots like MJ's kid now!...

Deadspin At Super Bowl XLII
We are put a wee 19 days from the Super Bowl, held in the Pink Taco in Glendale, Arizona. And we are very pleased to announce that, for the first time, we will be attending....

Peter Gammons Rocking Out The Mitchell Report Blues
We'll get into Roger Clemens more a little bit later — because we know you can just never get enough Roger Clemens and steroids talk, obviously — but we wanted to take a moment to salute Peter Gammons, everyone's favorite Andrew Jackson-impersonating, hard-rockin' baseball reporter....

Supermodels Not Included
We have always been wary of getting a tattoo of anything involving sports fandom, mainly because: a) you never know when your team will betray or your favorite player will end up murdering his houseboy; and b) tattoos really hurt, and we cry easily. But one Patriots fan has no such qualms....

Your Requisite Boxing Post!
While last night offered up two very respectable televised nights of boxing, the real show of the year's opening weekend comes tonight when Paulie Malignaggi puts his 140 lb IBF belt on the line against a very game Herman Ngoudjo on Showtime. Paulie is never going to be a knockout threat but he's wi...

Who's The Next Sex Tape Diva To Be Linked To A Professional Athlete?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker has just two columns left. This is one of them. Email him to let him know what you think....