pe Page 1200 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Less Majestic Barbaro
Proving once again (gosh, how much proof do you people need?) that he is blessed with other-worldly powers, Barbaro has expedited the reincarnation process and has gotten himself back into the world of competitive athletics. Barbaro had a boxing match last night in San Jose....

For Your Saturday Afternoon Viewing Pleasure...
12:00, ESPN. College Softball. DePaul vs. Oklahoma. 12:00, ESPN2. College Lacrosse. Delaware vs. Johns Hopkins. 1:00, FOX. NASCAR. Craftsman Truck Series Ohio 250. 1:00, ESPNU. College Baseball. Big East Tournament. 2:00, ESPN. College Softball. Florida vs. Texas A&M. 2:30, ESPN2. College Lacrosse. ...

Probably Just Best To Stay In The Tunnel, Ma'am
What happens when a Canadian attempts to sing the U.S. National Anthem? Nothing short of comedy gold, that's what. We don't know exactly how old this is, or what game it's from, but we've seen enough boring renditions of our country's cherished song to wish that they'd do it this way every time. Any...

The Real Tragedy Is That My Cell Phone Was In There
Well, if your golf cart has to plunge off of a gigantic cliff with you in it, we suppose it might as well be in Fallbrook, Calif....

Yet Another Great Reason To Live In Portland
Before we talk about the disappointment of all the teams who didn't win the first or second pick in last night's NBA Draft Lottery, let's look at the team that did win, the Portland Trail Blazers. (The official favorite team of Henry Abbott at True Hoop, who was at the lottery last night and, amusin...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while hiding from the flying robot police ... • MLB: New York Mets at Atlanta. The most humid rivalry in sports. [TBS] • NBA: Draft lottery, at Secaucus, N.J.; Western Conference finals, Utah at San Antonio, Game 2. You know which one you care about watching more. [ESPN] • NHL: Western...

JoePa Will Put Your Ass To Work
We love Joe Paterno. Whereas many coaches would discipline their players for a campus fight by suspending them or — more likely — not doing anything at all, the Penn State legend is forcing them to clean the inside of the stadium....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch WATCHING JOHN RAMBO... • AFL: New Orleans at Philadelphia. Much, much better than the lawnmower races. [ESPN2] • MLB: Boston at New York Yankees. Some sort of rivalry exists, we read somewhere. [ESPN] • NBA: Eastern Conference finals, Cleveland at Detroit, Game 1. This just in: LeBron ...

Welcome, Jezebel: Turn To The Worship Of Her God Baal
The classy, bombastic lovely ladies seen here are the editors of the newest site from our benevolent benefactors at Gawker Media, Jezebel, which launched today. The basic premise of the site is mapped out in a manifesto about the five biggest lies that women's magazines spew. Personally, we've alway...

Ah, The Sweet Relief Of Augusta
You can't quite tell from this far a way, but a reader who recently caddied for him at Augusta National lets us know that the gentleman urinating into the woods in this picture is none other than South Carolina coach Steve Spurrier. Here's the before photo:...

Who Will Win the 2007 Scripps National Spelling Bee?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....

His Next Job Will Be To Take Over For Stu Jackson
This spry gentleman's name is Bill Hargrove — he's the round immobile object between the orange ball and the red ball — and he just bowled his age. You might not find this all that impressive, though we find it difficult to bowl our age, ourselves. (We are not a skilled bowler.) But readers, smile, ...

How Do You Spell "P-L-E-A-S-E L-O-R-D G-O-D S-T-O-P T-A-L-K-I-N-G?"
Sometimes we wonder if we are too hard on ESPN. Sure, collectively, they seem to have sucked the very life out of sports, packaging schtick and corporate pablum into a stew of impossible-to-digest soulless muck. (And, unlike the rest of us, they mix metaphors!) But they're still just individuals, ou...

A Game 5 Without Amare. Tragic.
Well, the suspensions from the Suns-Spurs Game 4 finally came down last night, and one thing was assured: Nobody, probably not even the Spurs, is happy about it. Robert Horry, Amare Stoudemire and Boris Diaw will all miss tonight's Game 5, which means that the Suns will be at a clear disadvantage be...

Your Mother Is Not Without Her Urges
If you're looking for Mother's Day coverage out there in the sports blogosphere, no one's going to do it any better than the Ladies...(.) They all asked their moms about athletes for whom they once had the hots....

Now That's Some Competitive Gumption
As The Fanhouse pointed out yesterday, the Paralympic World Cup is taking place this week in England. Anyone who has seen Murderball knows the intensity and preparation that goes into any Paralympic event, and we have the utmost respect for all the athletes. We typically find Paralympic events oddly...

Brewers Fans Are As Excited As A Tiny Puppy
For the first time in many a moon, it is kind of cool to be a Milwaukee Brewers fan. They have the best record in baseball, they're 6 1/2 games up in the National League Central (and they won again today) and they're even tossing in an occasional beanbrawl, just for good measure. And because they're...

The Airing Of Grievances: Curt Schilling Edition
It kind of makes sense that with Curt Schilling pitching only every fifth day, he would then have four days left over for complaining. First on his list is Barry Bonds. When asked on WEEI's "Dennis and Callahan" radio show if he thinks Bonds' home run totals are tainted, Schilling said:...

That's All We Needed Was MORE Paris Hilton Jokes
So that Peyton Manning on SNL appearance that we all liked a little more than we were expecting? Well, turns out the main reason Matt Leinart fired his agents last week is because that wasn't him on the show....

Cultural Oddsmaker: Who'll Be the Next Newscaster to Send Rich Eisen Bikini Photos?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....