pe Page 1201 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
That Counts As A Penalty?
You know, if you can't mock a foreign soccer player for smelling bad, jeez, what can you do?...
Nothing Beats A Toupee Mullet
A story we've been wanting to write for sometime involves the sad plight of the toupee maker. We don't know anyone under the age of 40 who would ever wear a toupee again; these days, it's easier just to shave it. Nobody minds, everyone understands, it even looks kind of cool. But there are hundreds ...
Officiating Roundup: Kingsley Gets A Red Card
Poor Kingsley. Even though he has the wise foresight to wear pants, the mascot was still unceremoniously tossed from the stadium on Monday during a Premiere League soccer match in London. We for one wouldn't stand for such treatment, Kingsley! You've got a lawsuit here....
Pac Man Would Like His Job Again Please
For all the big apology full-page newspaper ads he has placed, Pac Man Jones isn't quite ready to give up the ghost just yet: He's appealing his year-long suspension to NFL commissioner Roger Goodell....
Under Armor Employees Like Being On TV
A few days ago, they had "Under Armor" day at Camden Yards, where a gaggle of Under Armor employees showed up to, we dunno, make grown men realize how they're too out of shape to possibly buy their products. One of their employees apparently had a bit too much to drink, and when he showed up on live...
The Vikings Take Adrian Peterson, And On Time, Too!
With the 7th pick of the NFL Draft, the Minnesota Vikings select Adrian Peterson, RB, Oklahoma. Mike Tanier of Football Outsiders tells you all about it....
Somedays, Being A Sports Fan Is No Fun At All
We find that the best way to truly appreciate how much fun and liberating being a sports fan can be is to remember the truly awful days, the days where everything goes wrong and falls apart, the times when you wonder why, exactly, you put yourself through all this. We used to call this "Days When Ja...
Marathon Man
Tim Gorman, a correspondent for the Boston Globe (read: unemployed writer), decided to conduct a social experiment and run the Boston Marathon dressed as a Yankees fan. This could have ended very badly, but didn't, thank heavens. There was this, however:...
NBA Roundup: Tonight's The Night
Notes on Tuesday's games in the National Basketball Association ......
What's The Right Price For MoPete's Head Sweat?
We are not experts in the field of sports memorabilia, so we have a difficult time gaging just how much a certain piece of game-used swag is supposed to be worth. A John Kruk jock strap? A Michael Barrett cup? Mike Vanderjagt's shoulder pads? We have no idea....
Save LT Before It's Too Late
It won't be long now until they announce who will grace the cover of Madden 2008 — ESPN's quixotic video games section handicaps the contenders here — and as everybody knows, it has pretty much meant doom for whomever is graced with the honor. Marshall Faulk, Daunte Culpepper, Eddie George, Ron Mexi...
You See, He's Tall, And They're Short
We mentioned this a long time ago, but we still didn't quite believe it would actually happen. But the photos are the proof: Dennis Rodman really is making a movie in which he coaches a team of little people....
Odalis Perez Has A Uniquely Hittable Pitch
Longtime readers will be well aware of our affection for Royals pitcher Odalis Perez, the only guy brave enough to admit that he could give two craps about charity and helping out kids, and only wants to get his. To remind, from last year:...
Everybody Should Have A Nittany Lion At Their Party
Looks like when it's offseason at Penn State, it's pretty tough for the beloved JoePa to keep a firm grip on the ears of his players. Because some Nittany Lions could be in some serious trouble after a weekend altercation....
It's Opening Day, Everybody!
Well, if you ignore last night's game — and we are — then it's now officially Opening Day. And there are all kinds of games today! Thirteen, to be exact, including four that start in about 15 minutes. We can't wait to fire up our Extra Innings and watch a full day of ... oh ... crap. Well, anyway, i...
An Opening Night Loss? No Problem!
On Faith And Fear In Flushing yesterday, Jason Fry wrote that the Opening Night game between the Cardinals and Mets at Busch Stadium last night was lose-lose for the Mets and win-win for the Cardinals. A Mets loss would remind of misery, and a win would just remind of what could have been; meanwhile...
Jim Harbaugh Has Some Breaking News, Dammit!
In case you didn't hear him the first time, new Stanford football coach Jim Harbaugh insists that it's not just wishful thinking on his part that Pete Carroll is about to begin his final season with USC. Harbaugh said it to CBS Sportsline earlier this week, then repeated it to the Los Angeles Times ...
Peyton Manning Much Funnier Than Anyone Could Have Guessed
MJD mentioned the Peyton Manning-hosted "Saturday Night Live" yesterday, but we finally sat down to watch it today. We have to say: We were actually quite impressed. He's sure as hell a lot funnier than Michael Jordan was on there, and definitely superior to Dane freaking Cook....
Roll On, Eighteen Wheeler, Roll On
We're actually big fans of the huge semi trucks that college football teams use to transport all their equipment from game-to-game; when we went to the Rutgers-Illinois game this year, we actually waved to the guy driving the Illini truck. Illinois had lost 33-0, and he grouchily nodded back. At lea...
Somebody Was Too Blasted To Pitch In A Meaningless Game
So you remember that whole All-Star game travesty from five years ago — yes, it has been five years now, which is kind of amazing — when they had to call the All-Star Game a tie because everyone was out of pitchers? (That game is the reason the American League has freaking home-field advantage every...