pe Page 1206 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Somebody's Gonna End Up With A Rather Lousy Highlight Video
Over at The NFL Shop, you don't have to sift through a week of Super Bowl overexposure. They've not only decided who won, they've even put out the championship DVD....

Jay Mariotti Was On To Lovie Smith From The Beginning
We haven't made fun of Jay Mariotti for a while, so it's probably time. Good to shake off the rust sometimes....

Daulerio At Super Bowl XLI: Greetings, Spinheads
Deadspin Super Bowl XLI "correspondent" A.J. Daulerio has arrived in Florida and is ready for some fisticuffs. He'll be filing sporadically, randomly and without warning all week. Here's his first dispatch....

I Think It's Jim Sorgi In The Colt Costume
Bear vs. Colt is an inspired bit of Super Bowl silliness. Every day between now and the Super Bowl, they post a new video with a Bear vs. Colt battle, with a guy in a bear costume going toe to toe in some manner against a guy in a colt costume....

A Happy Ending For That EBay Bears Lady
You may recall the attractive Bears fan who attempted to auction herself off on EBay in return for a Super Bowl ticket last week. The bidding went up to 99 bazillion dollars and was then killed by EBay, only for her to try again, and again have the auction pulled....

Filling Your Burning Need For Pageantry
It's so difficult to wait that extra week for the Super Bowl. The promise of spectacular pageantry is on the horizon, but still just out of your reach. Oh, pageantry, you seductive temptress....

Just Rename It The 'Roger Federer Tour' And Get It Over With
It's looking like there will be exactly one interesting men's professional tennis match played this year, and that will be Roger Federer vs. Rafael Nadal in the finals of the French Open. Federer is probably going to win every other match he plays, and any match that doesn't involve Federer amounts ...

Throw In The Jacket, And We'll Talk
A man on craigslist.com is looking for two Super Bowl tickets... and in turn, he would like to offer you lifetime access to nude Wisconsin girls:...

Serena Rampages Through Australia
Playing like a slightly more masculine version of Roger Federer, Serena Williams spanked Maria Sharapova in the finals of the Australian Open yesterday, winning 6-1, 6-2. It is the third biggest upset in Australian Open history, sort of. Serena came into the tournament ranked 81st in the world. Turn...

Why You Shouldn't Randomly Promise Tickets To Strangers
When your team makes the Super Bowl, sometimes some promises you've made in the past come back to haunt you. That's what happened to Bears safety Chris Harris, who was on public access earlier this year and found himself in a situation where his mouth was writing checks his ticket stash couldn't cas...

William Perry, Keeping Busy (And Incognito!)
In case you were wondering what William "The Refrigerator" Perry was up to these days, now that the offers to box Manute Bol have dried up, here's one of his main promotional opportunities: Big Camo, "the world's BEST outlet for HARD or IMPOSSIBLE to find BIG and TALL camouflage hunting clothes, acc...

Welcome To Negro Bowl I!
As you might have heard from a media outlet or two, this is a historic Super Bowl because it features two African American head coaches for the first time. The odds are good that this might be a topic over the next 10 days....

Taking Down The USA, One Touchdown At A Time
Every year, usually more than once a year (whenever there's a major sporting event), some soulless, dumb "research firm" tries to convince us that the office workers of America are somehow skirting their duties serving The Man by paying so much attention to something that might divert them from star...

Heavens, What About Peyton's Carpometacarpal Joint?
You can tell we're just about to turn the corner and start ratcheting up the Super Bowl XXXXI coverage lunacy when the condition of a man's thumb is receiving Zapruder-level scrutiny. Peyton Manning, who has had a seeming otherworldly ability to avoid injuries throughout his career, is playing all c...

Kind Of Looks Like Steve McMichael On A Bender
One of the things we love about the Bears? They have a theme song. It's pretty awesome that a professional sports team has a team song. And it's particularly awesome when it is sung by Bryan Griffin, of the Chicago Lyric Opera....

Your Handy Super Bowl XXXXI Human Interest Guide: The Chicago Bears
The endless loop of Super Bowl XXXXI coverage is about to begin, and we like to consider ourselves the Mainstream Media's Little Helpers. We're about to all be deluged with a flood of human interest stories — we can use that metaphor because the Saints lost — so we thought we'd make it easier on all...

Hey, Everyone! How Ya Hoofing?
On the day that Barbaro gets another good report card from his vet, we check in with the Barbaro Message Board to find that, well, things are getting just plain weird. And when you're talking about the Barbaro Message Board, that's saying something....

The Beginning Of A Fun Reality Show
So here's a fun social experiment: Five Chicago Bears season ticket holders end up with their number called for two Super Bowl tickets. But they all have an equal claim on the tickets. How do they figure it out? the Chicago Tribune's RedEye filmed the negotiations. We're disappointed there were not ...

Tank Johnson Will Be Allowed To Violate O-Linemen's Probation
Well, the wheels of justice grind gloriously in the land of Chicago. Defensive lineman Tank Johnson — whose name is not Feelings Johnson for a reason — will be able to play in the Super Bowl. A Cook County judge just ruled less than an hour ago that Tank will be able to travel with the team to Miami...
