pe Page 1213 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Chris Berman Pillages Mamaroneck
So The US Open has been on ESPN all day, and that famous golf announcer Chris Berman is at the mic as anchor and occasional lead commentator....
Odalis Perez's Charitable Contributions
You know who's a charming guy? Recently demoted Dodgers starter Odalis Perez, that's who....
Federer Remains Nadal's Bitch
Rafael Nadal further cemented his place as the world's greatest athlete in capri pants by beating Roger Federer in the finals of the French Open this morning, 1-6, 6-1, 6-4, 7-6 (4). And in celebration, not settling for a simple kiss of the French Open trophy, he attempted to perform fellatio on it....
Let's Get French For A Second
Justine Henin-Hardenne beat Svetlana Kuznetsova 6-4, 6-4 this morning to win her third Freedom French Open, and her second in a row. It is the fifth Grand Slam win of her career....
World Cup Preview: Group E
The World Cup is almost here! So that you aren't caught flat-footed, we're previewing each group, in no particular order, to explain why your team has no chance to win (you'll thank us later). Today: Group E! This is the last one; the footy begins on Friday, friends....
In The Oblique Wake ...
OK, we figure we're probably ready to talk about this now....
Exploring The Eating Habits Of Rafael Nadal
Rafael Nadal would like to respectfully disagree with Kirk Cameron. Bananas aren't so damn perfect after all. They might not squirt all over your face, but they can get stuck in your throat during the French Open and embarrass you more than the capri pants you insist on wearing....
Spell F-A-I-L-U-R-E, Kid
We'll confess: We love the Scripps Howard National Spelling Bee. We watch every minute we can, and apparently we're not alone, considering ABC is broadcasting the finals live tomorrow night in primetime. (To the network's eternal credit, Robin Roberts will be hosting, not Stuart Scott. Whew.)...
ESPN Bonds Chroniclers About To Be Released Into The Wild
We would say our long national nightmare is almost over, but we have a feeling the nightmare was only in our heads all along....
At Last, Nash And Nowitzki, Together Again
While trying to find video of a time when Mavericks coach Avery Johnson's voice was deep — we imagine it just one day rising, like reverse puberty — we came across this apparent promotional video for the Mavs. "The Avery Bunch" are heading to the Western Conference Finals, where they will face the P...
It's Western Conference March Madness
We know a few people, Midwesterners, mostly, sometimes with their own little biases, who claim to love college basketball but are left cold by the NBA. We don't understand this, but even they can't deny the beauty of tonight: Two games, both elimination, winners play each other in the conference fin...
Brian Bellows Is A Superstar
I hate to cheat on YouTube, but we’re going to close today with this Google Video. It’s Kevin Stevens and Bryan Trottier of the Penguins harassing Brian Bellows of the Minnesota North Stars... and for some reason, I can’t stop watching this. I can’t thank the Airing of Grievances enough for the find...
Record For Stuffing Face With Pig Ass In Jeopardy
You're probably going to make fun of us here, but we consider competitive eating a sport. We do. We never had until we worked with writer Larry Getlen on his story "The Champions Of Consumption" for The Black Table, our old stomping grounds. The two-part series looked at the history of competitive...
It's Playoff Time! Everybody Grab A Ball!
Before we talk about last night's Clippers' win over the Suns, can we just say how disappointed we were that there wasn't a single incident of a grown man wounding the genitals of another grown man?...
Last Call For The Clips
The Cavaliers', uh, somewhat unexpected rattling-off of three consecutive wins over the Pistons has overshadowed what had been the plucky little engine that could of the postseason: The Clippers, who face elimination at the Staples Center tonight against the Suns....
Wait ... They're Not Still Playing?
Last night's Clippers-Suns game was so intense, so all-inclusive, that we were this close to just live blogging the thing ourselves. (J.E. Skeets did just fine, anyway.) The game ended at 2:18 ET time, which was seven hours ago; a guy who clocked in to work when this game ended still has an hour l...
Chris Kaman And Clippers Ready For World Domination
Little known fact: Clippers center Chris Kaman is not, in fact, actually hurt: That lump on his shoulder is just a normal byproduct of reaching the 25th year of life on his home planet. It's kind of like a birthing pouch, actually; in nine months, a being resembling a cross between Nicko McBrain a...
Hello, Boston!
As that picture brings you back to the immortal "Does "More Than A Feeling" Really Have The Same Guitar Riff As "Smells Like Teen Spirit?" argument, we let you know that we are going back out on the road. (Book promotion never ends.) As soon as we finish up this here site today, we're heading Bost...
Hail The Glorious, Conquering Clippers
It's pretty clear at this point that the Suns should continue to only play teams from Los Angeles; this Suns-Clippers series is shaping up to be as entertaining as the Suns-Lakers series was....
Elgin Baylor, NBA Exec Of The Year. This Year, They Mean.
This has to be considered one of the biggest upsets in sports history. If, one year ago, you'd have suggested that it was even possible for Clippers GM Elgin Baylor to one day be considered for the NBA's Executive of the Year award, Jerry West and Joe Dumars would've shown up at your door to take ...