pe Page 1214 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Quite Frankly With Scott Van Pelt
We never quite know what to do with Scott Van Pelt. He seems like an intelligent enough guy and is smart-alecky without being overly, soul-crushingly obnoxious about it. But, man, those catchphrases. The guy is positively Berman-esque, minus the "You're with me, leather." We'll admit to cringing w...

We Love A Series That Leaves An Impression
First of all, who knew Superman batted from the left side? And is he gripping the bat correctly? And what's the deal with the catcher, who appears to have green hair? We can't answer any of these pressing questions, but we can shed some light on the recent beanball war between the Mets and Nationa...

Power To The Peepl
Reaction continues to pour in on yesterday's spelling bee post (OK, we got one note, which was attached to a rock and thrown through our window). Toward the end of the post we noted that there are actually people who protest in front of the Scripps National Spelling Bee in Washington, D.C.; folks ...

When Words Collide
It was the mother of all spelling bees; the 1971 Chiefs-Dolphins of word competition. In case you were for some reason watching basketball on Saturday, two young contestants in the Treasure State Spelling Bee in Billings, Mont., slugged it out for four and a half hours — 25 rounds — before a champ...

Culpepper Now Free To Have Naked Women Dance In His General Vicinity (But There, And Only There)
New Dolphins quarterback Daunte Culpepper need not worry about the potential new ramifications of the term "lap dance" from jail; he has been cleared of all charges in the sex boat incident. His former teammate Moe Williams was not so lucky; he'll still have to strand trial, along with decidedly m...

People Will Come, Ray...
I admit, I've never been much for the sappy "crack of the bat, smell of the green grass" imagery that seems to be inspired by the opening of the baseball season. But I can get behind these sounds of the season: San Diego Serenade has put together a list of 9 songs (complete with downloadable mp3s)...

What's On Peter Gammons' iPod?
If you don't have ESPN Insider, well, you miss out not just on Bill Simmons mailbags from late 2002, but also various "blogs" from Buster Olney, John Clayton and our man Peter Gammons. We always enjoy Gammons' blog, if you can call something a blog that's really just feature stories that are a lit...

Roger Clemens Hates His Crotch
You might think that Peter King's gruesome description of the preparations he took to prepare for his colonoscopy would be the most disturbing thing you'd read all day. It would seem like a good bet; Peter, we love the freedom you have online, but there is such a thing as decorum and good will to ...

What Is A Lap Dance? You Know, In An Existential Sense, Aren't We All Just God's Lap Dancers?
So the Vikings sex boat trial in Minnesota is going on, like, right now. Well, kind of; former quarterback Daunte Culpepper and fullback Moe Williams are trying to talk a judge into dismissing charges against them. The two players were charged, pretty much, with receiving lap dances, which has spu...

Arroyo Ready To Take Cincinnati By Storm
After an brutal spring so far — OK, he didn't really get rocked by a Little League team — rockin' righthander Bronson Arroyo was traded this morning to the Cincinnati Reds for outfielder Wily Mo Pena. We support this trade, for three major reasons....

Shani Davis Twists The Knife
As the late games tip off, let me step in for a second and divert your attention to speed skating. Shani Davis, at the ISU world all-around speedskating championships, set a new world record in the mens 1500m. The previous record holder? A guy named Chad Hedrick....

Oh, You Clever Shocker Cheerleaders
Okay, so that Florida/Milwaukee game wasn't as good as I thought it would be. The Gators ended up winning by 22, which is not what you'd call close. Still, to me, it felt like less of a blowout than the Duke/GW game. Maybe it's just me....

Now It Gets Real
Duke has put the finishing touches on their romp of George Washington. They're the first team in the Sweet 16, Dick Vitale has written them in on his bracket with a glitter pen, and blah blah blah... We're done with the appetizers. Here comes the steak....

NCAA Pants Party: Texas Vs. Pennsylvania
Texas Longhorns (27-6) vs. Pennsylvania Quakers (20-8). When: Friday, 9:50 p.m. Where: Dallas....

Culpepper To Spend Plenty Of Time Near Water
The Orlando Sentinel and FOX Sports are reporting that the trade is official: Daunte Culpepper has been traded to the Miami Dolphins....

NCAA Pants Party: Tennessee Vs. Winthrop
Tennessee Volunteers (21-7) vs. Winthrop Eagles (23-7). When: Thursday, 2:50 p.m. ET (approx.) Where: Greensboro, N.C....

A New Definition Of Charlie Hustle
Did anyone else catch Pete Rose on Real Time with Bill Maher this past week? Appearing on the show via remote from whatever Las Vegas casino in which he is now employed as a greeter, Rose did a bizarre five minutes in which he:...

Inside The SEC Tournament
Deadspin Mole Dominic Bonvissuto is sitting courtside at the SEC Men s Basketball Tournament at the Gaylord Entertainment Center in Nashville, Tenn. Here's a notebook of what's happening over there....

Winthrop Eagles
1. Gregg Marshall Is The Best Coach You've Never Heard Of. Marshall has compiled a 165-77 record in eight seasons and made Winthrop a dominant force in the Big South. In his first three seasons, he led the Eagles to a threepeat in regular season conference championships and NCAA tournament appearanc...

Pennsylvania Quakers
1. Their Home Court Is Famous, And Not Just For Hoops. The Palestra: Penn's home court, often mentioned in hallowed tones, referred to by some as the most historic fieldhouse in all of college basketball. It's home not only to all of Penn's games, but many of the classic Big Five rivarly games as we...