pe Page 646 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Report: Nike Made Sure Believing In Something Wouldn’t Mean Sacrificing Everything<em></em>
If you are someone who wants to pump your fist about Nike’s big endorsement deal with Colin Kaepernick, try this on: It is probably an encouraging sign of the times that Kaepernick’s demonstrations against police brutality and systemic racism have not made him toxic for marketing and public relation...

If This Really Was Bryce Harper's Last Home Game As A National, VICTOR ROBLES VICTOR ROBLES
There are two kinds of people in the world: those who get misty while reading about Bryce Harper walking around in his uniform more than three hours before what could be his last home game as a National, and those who have no time for sentimentality because they’re too busy drooling over what Victor...

Fastest Shed Crushes Fastest Shed's Speed Record
Imagine you are in a small building. The building has wheels. The building can move—vroom, vroom. The building has an engine that has recently exploded and resulted in months of mechanical issues afterward. Now imagine that you are in this building and you are making it do what Kevin Nicks did on S...

Report: UFC Welterweight Abdul Razak Alhassan Allegedly Raped Two Women While Working As A Bouncer
UFC welterweight Abdul Razak Alhassan was indicted Monday in Tarrant County, Texas, for charges related to the alleged rape of two women in one night in March 2018. Alhassan was reportedly arrested in April following a Saginaw Police Department investigation, and was out on $20,000 bail bond when he...
![Giuseppe Rossi Faces One-Year Ban After Failed Doping Test [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/sgoqrmndv4jbkpbqn5zr.jpg)
Giuseppe Rossi Faces One-Year Ban After Failed Doping Test [Update]
Here we have the latest depressing update on the great and greatly unlucky career of American-born Italian phenom, Giuseppe Rossi: The striker has tested positive for a banned substance in Italy and faces a one-year ban from the game....

Seattle Somehow Reaches New Arena Deal Without Horribly Screwing Generations Of Taxpayers
The Seattle City Council voted unanimously Monday to approve a plan to let a group of private investors build a new stadium on the site of the current home of the Seattle Storm and the former home of the Seattle Supersonics, as part of a push to land an expansion NHL franchise later this year....

Bad Soccer Men Try And Thankfully Fail To Beat The Hell Out Of Referee
A soccer match from earlier this month between Indonesian clubs Persegres Gresik United and Persiwa Wamena exploded into chaos when a few players who took issue with a controversial penalty call sought to communicate their dissatisfaction to the ref by beating his ass:...

Add "Not Getting Ejected" To List Of Bryce Harper's Missed Goals For 2018
It’s been a shit year for Bryce Harper, measured against expectations, and even aside from the Nationals being an even bigger disappointment than usual. He came on in the second half, but he’s still gonna finish the year batting around or below .250, and with a growing reputation as a guy who can be...

Chip The Buffalo Destroyed His Dick And Balls With A T-Shirt Cannon<em></em>
No point in keeping you waiting for this one—on Saturday, Chip the Buffalo, Colorado’s sideline mascot, blasted his dick and balls with damn t-shirt cannon and by the grace of God, someone had their phone out to film the vicious neutering of what was once a happy-go-lucky creature....

Report: Finally, A Reason To Watch The Super Bowl!
Variety and Us Weekly report that adult contemporary group Maroon 5 will be the halftime performers at February’s Super Bowl LIII (pronounced “leeeeeee”) in Atlanta, probably because Imagine Dragons was already booked as the NHL’s in-house band....

Umpire Who Gave Nick Kyrgios Pep Talk Gets Suspended For Two Tournaments Without Pay
During a second-round U.S. Open match on Aug. 30, umpire Mohamed Lahyani descended from his chair to give a mopey Nick Kyrgios a pep talk that included the words “I want to help you,” raising questions as to whether he overstepped boundaries as a neutral party. Lahyani has now been punished for his...

Report: Clippers Hire <i>SI</i>'s Lee Jenkins To Ambiguous-Sounding Basketball Operations Post
The Los Angeles Clippers are hiring senior Sports Illustrated fawning-profile-writer Lee Jenkins for ... some sort of front office basketball operations position?...

Auld Lad At Ireland Bookie Shop Thwarts Three Armed Robbers
There may come a time in life when you’re 83 years old and posted up at the bookies in Glanmire, Ireland, enjoying the retired life. When three men wielding hammers and a gun barge in, what will you do? “You can either run and hide or take a stand and I took a stand,” was the answer that Denis O’Co...

WWE’s Cage Matches Have Way Too Much Interference
It had been a long PPV—WWE’s Hell in a Cell 2018 clocked in at 3 hours, 40 minutes and 48 seconds plus a pre-show with a match—and by the time the main event was over, what should have been a thrilling match was bogged down by an exhausting parade of interference. ...

This <i>Daily News</i> Sam Darnold Cover Is Terrible; I'm Dying
Jets rookie QB Sam Darnold was perfectly okay in his NFL debut last week, a 48-17 Jets win over the Lions more notable for the Jets defense knowing “everything” the Lions were running before they snapped the ball. But Darnold, following a first-ever-pass pick-six, got it together and looked as good ...

Sensitive Umpire Laz Diaz Turns Baseball Game Into Extended Temper Tantrum
Home plate umpire Laz Diaz lost his mind in the middle innings of Friday night’s Nationals-Braves game. In the bottom of the fifth inning, with the Braves at bat, Diaz jumped up and started screaming at Bryce Harper, who was stationed 150 feet away, in center field. Diaz was pissed at Harper for exp...

Tennis Umpires Aren't The Enemy Here
The Times of London reported Tuesday that some anonymous tennis umpires had considered boycotting Serena Williams’s matches after her spat with umpire Carlos Ramos derailed her U.S. Open final against Naomi Osaka. As this story has been picked up, shorn of context, and redeployed in unfamiliar conte...

Roger Goodell Is Trying His Best To Appear Woke
Kaepernick collusion case be damned, Roger Goodell is trying his best to be the corporate face of social progress for the NFL....

I Did Not Buy 6,500 Pairs Of Nikes To Send To The Dump, But Thousands Of Idiots Think I Did
First off, let’s get something out of the way: I did not purchase $1.3 million dollars’ worth of Nike Air VaporMaxes (White/Varsity Purple/Metallic Silver/Aqua, size 9.5) with the intent of shipping them to the Glendale city dump....

At Least One Nathan Peterman Defender Exists, And He's A Shitbird
The Buffalo Bills officially announced on Wednesday that flailing intern Nathan Peterman would no longer be their starting QB, to the relief of Bills fans and probably Peterman himself, who never asked to become synonymous with incompetence just because his team had an irrational fear of Tyrod Taylo...