pe Page 647 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Doug Marrone Claims He's "So Pissed Off" At Not Reaching A Super Bowl That He's Never Watched One

Jaguars coach Doug Marrone probably should have coached in the Super Bowl last season and, if he had, he would have witnessed his first Super Bowl action in, uh, over 40 years, somehow? Marrone told ESPN today that he didn’t watch last season’s Super Bowl, not even to scout for the Patriots this wee...

We Think We Know Who Will Win The Super Bowl

It’s fine to know nothing about football. It’s also fine to know everything about football. What I know about football is: nothing....

A New Jersey federal judge dismissed a class-action lawsuit that accused the New York Jets of screwing over PSL holders. “Agreement expressly disclaims that plaintiff is not acquiring the PSL as an investment or with a view to profiting from future distribution or resale, and further that Defendants...

Bills Finally Admit Nathan Peterman Has No Business Being A Starting QB

The Buffalo Bills have finally stopped trying to make Nathan Peterman happen. Head coach Sean McDermott said today that rookie quarterback Josh Allen would start this Sunday for the Bills’ game against the Chargers....

Yet Another Pitcher Has The Baby Disease

Astros reliever Brad Peacock has been diagnosed with hand, foot and mouth disease and sent home from the team, becoming the third MLB pitcher this season to contract the viral infection that usually only affects infants and children under five years of age. What is going on??...

Nats Rookie Spits Out Tooth, Socks First Career Dinger [Update]

A strange thing happened in the top of the fifth inning of the first game of today’s Nationals-Phillies doubleheader. Nationals’ rookie catcher Spencer Kieboom spit out a tooth (or possibly a chunk of tooth?) on his way to the plate for his second at-bat of the day....

<i>Sports Illustrated</i> Shrugs, Gives Albert Breer "Leading Role" At The MMQB

As recently as a few months ago, Sports Illustrated insisted that no one person was going to take over for Peter King as the head of the MMQB, the magazine’s NFL website. It was somewhat surprising, then, to see MMQB writer Albert Breer announce in a press release today that he has been promoted to ...

Hypothetical Grievances Presented By An Australian Newspaper To Defend Its Big-Lipped Serena Williams Cartoon, Ranked<em></em>

To riff on Serena Williams’s spat with umpire Carlos Ramos in the U.S. Open final, the Melbourne Herald Sun published an illustration of the tennis player, drawn by editorial cartoonist Mark Knight, which has since been met with international disgust. Today, like any normal newspaper, the Herald Sun...

There Is Nothing More American Than Burning Your Dumb Sneakers

“Calling a dream crazy is not an insult,” Colin Kaepernick says during a two-minute ad that Nike rolled out last Wednesday. “It’s a compliment.” It’s one of many perfectly circular blobules of aspiration that Kaepernick delivers in stop-and-go voiceover throughout the ad, and in that context and the...

Naomi Osaka Paid The Price For The Feud Between Serena Williams And Carlos Ramos<em></em>

If your tennis brain has only room for one takeaway from the U.S. Open, let it be this: Naomi Osaka was the most dominant player in the world over the last 14 days. With the exception of a fourth-round test of will, all of Osaka’s matches, including the final, were straight-set, open-and-shut, surg...

Like The Rest Of Us, Tennis's Governing Bodies Are Arguing About Serena Williams

Through a series of statements, tennis’s governing bodies (the Women’s Tennis Association, the U.S. Tennis Association, and the International Tennis Federations) are staking out their positions on the sad and entirely avoidable debacle that was the U.S. Open women’s final. ...

It Took Just 34 Minutes For The Bills To Ditch Nathan Peterman

Nathan Peterman has, um, struggled just a bit in his time as a Buffalo Bills quarterback, most notably in the five-pick first half that followed his inexplicable start against the Chargers last season. But for some reason, the Bills felt confident enough in a guy who had never thrown for more than 8...

Serena Williams Hit With $17,000 Fine For Her Part Of U.S. Open Final Shit-Show

The second set of Saturday’s women’s U.S. Open final was a total debacle, featuring a suspect code violation for coaching, and then an even more suspect game penalty for “verbal abuse,” triggering an insane and exhausting sequence where Serena Williams called down a tournament referee and brought th...

Report: NFL Will Not Have National Anthem Policy This Season

Back in May, NFL owners terrified of Donald Trump approved a new jingoistic national anthem policy decreeing that “all league and team personnel shall stand and show respect for the flag and the Anthem,” before games. The new rule essentially banned any kind of visible protest—such as Colin Kaeperni...

Sensitive Ref Pushes Serena Williams To Melt Down And Ruins Naomi Osaka's U.S. Open Victory

Naomi Osaka beat Serena Williams in straight sets to win the U.S. Open and become the first Japanese tennis player to win a Grand Slam. Unfortunately, the historic win was marred terribly by an officiating controversy....

Report: Former Cowboys Running Back Joseph Randle Arrested On Suspicion Of Rape

Former Cowboys running back Joseph Randle was arrested early Friday in Wichita, Kansas on suspicion of rape, according to a report from The Wichita Eagle:...

SafeSport Bans Taekwondo's Steven Lopez, But Will It Last? 

The U.S. Center for SafeSport has banned three-time Olympic taekwondo medalist Steven Lopez, declaring him permanently ineligible earlier this week for “sexual misconduct involving a minor.” According to a copy of the notice of the director’s decision and other SafeSport records, which Deadspin revi...

Flamethrowing White Sox Phenom Michael Kopech Needs Tommy John Surgery

After making four starts this year, White Sox rookie Michael Kopech will most likely not return to the mound until 2020. The team announced this afternoon that Kopech has a torn ulnar collateral ligament, and while he will reportedly seek a second opinion from Dr. James Andrews and consider his reco...

If You Don't Want To Watch A Man Shoot Out A Turd Into A Toilet From Way Downtown, Here's A Summary<em></em>

The camera is facing a toilet....

Some Common Goalkeeping Mistakes Aren't Actually Mistakes

It’s not really surprising that an eccentric position played by only one-tenth of a sport’s population and operating under a completely different rule set is relatively overlooked and misunderstood. That’s not always a major problem. After all, a goalkeeper’s job boils down to “Keep the ball out of ...