pe Page 649 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Here Is A Legally Blind 96-Year-Old Great-Grandmother Who Would Kick Your Ass At Bowling

Kathryn Robinson will turn 97 years old next week. Also, according to this delightful Palm Beach Post report, she “lost all sight in one eye and most in the other,” making her legally blind. But that does not stop her from being a tremendous bowler:...

And Now, James Franklin's Dark Purple Butt

Penn State head coach James Franklin spoke at Penn State Media Day about, among other things, the experience of taking all his players paintballing for a recent team outing. This may not have been a great idea for a person whose job it is to push these competitive young men to endure exhaustion and ...

Why Did EA Censor A Lyric About Colin Kaepernick In <i>Madden 19</i>? [Update]

Colin Kaepernick is already being kept out the NFL by 32 owners terrified of his protests against police brutality and racial discrimination. It looks like he might also have been completely erased from the upcoming edition of Madden NFL, too....

The Nationals Are Cracking Down On Their "Iffy Clubhouse Culture"

Nationals reliever Brandon Kintzler was one of the team’s few trade deadline casualties on Tuesday, traded to the Cubs for a Single-A prospect, a relative pittance given the all-star set-up man’s production this season. The Nats were in a weird, hybrid, buyer/seller mode, one that necessitated consi...

Angry French Tennis Guy Melts Down By Smashing Multiple Rackets, Then Quitting<em></em>

Tempers were running high today during early-round action at the Washington Open in D.C.—dangerously high, if you happen to be a tennis racket. In a weird match that saw eventual victor Marcos Baghdatis get rattled by a distracting trash cart, notorious hothead Benoit Paire one-upped his opponent’s...

Update: Bryce Harper Is Not Available

Bryce Harper Is Available

Good morning! It’s just about seven hours until the trade deadline, and Bryce Harper could be on the block....

What's Your Greatest Live Sports Regret?

A good tweet from our deceased former colleague Cerebral Commie Aisle about the perils of leaving a game too early—...

José Aldo May Have Disintegrated Jeremy Stephens's Liver With This Body Shot

The body shot to the liver is basically the boogey man of all combat sports. One perfectly placed punch to the gut can set off a cascade of unimaginable pain that shuts down a fighter’s entire body. There’s really no coming back from it, as José Aldo proved during this weekend’s fight against Jeremy...

Pete Rose Says Baseball Sucks Now

Truly it is a sad day when Pete Rose bitching semi-coherently about juiced baseballs and lost fundamentals represents a pivot towards sanity in the discourse of ornery former ballplayers. Alas....

Whew, Tom Benson's Estate Battle Was Ugly And Sad As Hell

The legal proceedings by which three of late Saints and Pelicans owner Tom Benson’s closest family members were removed from his businesses and will were ugly, and marked by profane outbursts from an enfeebled Benson, according to a report from the New Orleans Advocate....

The Rockets Are Now Equipped To Run It Back

The Rockets have won their contract standoff with restricted free agent center Clint Capela. Four weeks after he balked at Houston’s five-year, $90 million offer at the start of free agency, Capela made the decision to not sign the meager one-year qualifying offer, and inked a long-term deal in Hous...

Let's Remember Some Guys: WrestleMania Vol. III<em></em>

Remembering Guys does not necessarily have to involve trading cards. It’s a pursuit that can be equally at home anywhere on earth—a crowded train or a vast and silent desert work just about equally well for these purposes. I am Remembering a Guy right now. It’s the beefy former Mets corner infield p...

Lawyers For Larry Nassar Say Judge Was Biased, Ask For Resentencing

Defense lawyers for disgraced former USA Gymnastics and Michigan State doctor Larry Nassar have asked that he get a new sentencing hearing in one of his criminal cases because, the lawyers believe, the judge who oversaw it made numerous statements that showed she had made up her mind beforehand. The...

I Hope People Never Stop Asking Bill Belichick About Malcolm Butler

The last time we saw the New England Patriots in a meaningful football game, their defense was getting 538 yards dropped on them by the Philadelphia Eagles in a Super Bowl loss. This all happened while starting cornerback Malcolm Butler, who had played nearly 98 percent of the defensive snaps in the...

Report: Celtics Assistant Coach Jerome Allen Allegedly Bribed By Accused Medicare Fraudster While At Penn

A Miami Beach business executive charged with running a billion-dollar Medicare fraud scheme allegedly bribed then-Quakers head coach and current Celtics assistant Jerome Allen to get his son admitted to the University of Pennsylvania, according to a new indictment reported by the Miami Herald:...

The Third Congressional Hearing Into The Larry Nassar Scandal Was Just More Political Theater 

The Senate Committee on Commerce, Science, and Transportation convened today its third hearing looking into the Larry Nassar scandal, as well as the people and institutions that enabled him to sexually abuse athletes for years under the guise of medical treatment. This one, entitled “Strengthening a...

Report: Novak Djokovic Split Up With Hug-Loving Spiritual Adviser To Bring Back Old Coach

Newly crowned Wimbledon champ Novak Djokovic might look a lot like his old dominant self, but he’s still coming off a two-year major title drought and psychological slump. During that span, his support staff was constantly churning....

Somehow, Philippe Gilbert Rode Away After This Terrifying Crash [Update]

Philippe Gilbert was leading the Tour de France breakaway down the descent of the Portet d’Aspet when he played a corner wrong, locked his wheel up, and vaulted headfirst over a little rock ledge. It’s the worst sort of crash, though Gilbert did scrub some speed before eating shit. That may have sav...

SafeSport, The USOC's Attempt To Stop Child Abuse, Is Set Up To Fail—Just Like It Was Supposed To

As he was questioned by lawyers in 2015 over and over again about what he did and did not know about sexual abuse suffered by Olympic athletes, then-U.S. Olympic Committee lawyer Gary Johansen made a choice. No matter the question, no matter which lawyer asked it, Johansen did not say “child abuse,”...