pe Page 706 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
What Does Mike Pence Think Happens At Restaurants?<em></em><em></em>
Here is a deeply weird thing:...
Venus Williams Is Going For It
Venus Williams defeated world No. 1 Angelique Kerber in straight sets last night to advance to the semifinals of the Miami Open. By downing Kerber, the 36-year-old became the oldest player to defeat a world No. 1, but she has no desire to rest on that accomplishment....
Jim Harbaugh And Chip Kelly Go To Bat For Colin Kaepernick
NFL free agency began three weeks ago, and Colin Kaepernick is still a man without a team, even in a league in which Mike Glennon just got $19 million guaranteed to actually start for someone. Is Kaepernick being blackballed because of his national anthem protest? It he still unsigned because of his...
Texas State Senators Ripped Into A Stammering Baylor Interim President<em></em>
As Baylor continues to insist that everything is just fine after admitting to making life miserable for women who reported they were raped, while simultaneously claiming it does “not have a legal duty to protect their students from harm caused by other students,” Texas lawmakers are considering a ...
Nick Kyrgios And Alexander Zverev Meet Again
Both kids passed their tests Tuesday in Miami, and now they’ll play each other for the second time ever....
These Roger Federer Volleys Almost Hurt To Watch
Roberto Batista Agut did about as well as you can do against the greatest these days, pushing him to two tiebreaks in the fourth round of the Miami Open, but, just, c’mon—these fucking nonchalant volleys....
Good News: The NFL Has More Rules
As everyone knows, the best part of the NFL season is when the league gets the chance to add rules and bylaws to an already-impenetrable rulebook. One of the new additions is a ban on players jumping over linemen to block field goal kicks....
Two Of Tennis's Best Young Guns Dismantled A Pair Of Hard-Serving Robots
Both Nick Kyrgios and Alexander Zverev, the two most promising players aged 21 or under, survived their third-round tests yesterday against two aging serve-bots. Neither win came easy. When your competition moves around the court with the grace of a mannequin but can still regularly whoop 130 mph ac...
FIFA Suspends Lionel Messi Four Matches For Yelling At Referee
FIFA handed Lionel Messi a four-match suspension from international play today in response to an incident after last week’s Argentina-Chile match when Messi was seen insulting a referee. With only five matches left in a World Cup Qualifying process in which Argentina have struggled, there is a very ...
White Sox, Continuing Rebuilding Effort, Trade Peter Bourjos<em></em>
It’s no secret that the Chicago White Sox are more focused on the future than the present, and so it’s no surprise that the battle for their center field job—one of spring’s major storylines—has ended with veteran Peter Bourjos moving on to a team that hopes to contend. The Tampa Bay Times’ Marc Top...
Nike Drapes Its Athletes In A Mess Of Green Puke
Roger Federer rolled right through Juan Martin del Potro in the third round of the Miami Open, 6-4, 6-3. It was what you’d expect: forehand winners aplenty on both sides; Fed giving the big guy no absolutely no time to ease his way into the point; Delpo proving that he still can hit the crap out of ...
Fearless Goalkeeper Stares Down Four-On-One Attack, Comes Up With Heroic Save
Argentine club Belgrano’s keeper probably should’ve been terrified with four River Plate players bearing down on him with no help in sight, but instead he went all “NAH FUCK THAT” and stood up brave and tall and psyched out the attackers, somehow saving a goal and earning the glory. ...
Frances Tiafoe Gave Roger Federer A Scare, And America Some Hope
American tennis fans should take heart: their 19-year-old prodigy Frances Tiafoe caused the GOAT some woe, at least for a little while. Tiafoe, who is creeping closer to a breakout victory over a top player, took Roger Federer to a first-set tiebreak in their second-round match at the Miami Open bef...
It's Getting Worse For The Clippers
When we last checked in on the Los Angeles Clippers, they had just dropped a game to the Denver Nuggets and were settling into their usual pre-playoff slump. They followed that loss with three straight wins, albeit against a Big Three-less Cleveland Cavs, the tanking Los Angeles Lakers, and the dysf...
Jirí Veselý Goes Between The Legs For Winner<em></em>
American Jack Sock took the first set against Jirí Veselý tonight, but even if the Czech loses their Miami Open match he’ll go home knowing he delivered the highlight of the match: a between-the-legs winner off what was a near perfect lob volley from Sock. Don’t try this at home....
Ireland's Seamus Coleman Gets His Leg Snapped By Welsh Defender In World Cup Qualifier
Ireland defender Seamus Coleman was stretchered off the field during a World Cup qualifying match against Wales today, after a flying tackle by Welsh defender Neil Taylor appeared to snap his leg. Taylor was immediately issued a red card. ...
Ex-Penn State President Guilty On One Count Of Child Endangerment
After more than 12 hours of deliberations, a jury in Dauphin County (Pa.) this afternoon found former Penn State president Graham Spanier guilty on a single count of child endangerment, a misdemeanor....
Pero Antić Celebrates Too Hard, Punches Teammate In The Face
Macedonian strongman Pero Antić, last seen in the NBA cracking skulls for the Hawks, is back in the Euroleague, where he first made his name as a bruiser. He’s currently playing for Turkish club Fenerbahçe alongside fellow NBA vets Jan Vesely and Ekpe Udoh. Antić is still muscling people out of his ...
Senators Owner Pissed At Sidney Crosby
Sidney Crosby is at it again, “it” in this case short for “being an irritating asshole.”...
Confessions Of A Petty Citrus Thief
Perhaps the best perk of living in California, better than proximity to robber barons or weed, is the ubiquitous presence of fruit trees. Anecdotally speaking, everyone has a dang lemon, orange, plum, or avocado tree. Even when our fair state was in the worst throes of the mega drought, one could gr...