pe Page 705 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
You Wanna See A Pretty-Ass Goal?
The Penguins beat the Devils 7-4 in Newark to clinch the second spot in the Metropolitan, and, crucially, home-ice advantage for their first-round matchup against the Blue Jackets. Pittsburgh got goals from seven different skaters, but the highlight of the night was, without question, an assist....
Report: White Sox Near Deal With Mike Pelfrey
According to a report from Jon Heyman of Fanrag Sports, the Chicago White Sox are about to bolster their pitching staff with the addition of 11-year major-league veteran Mike Pelfrey:...
Penguins Fan Flips Very Solid Double-Bird
The Penguins beat the Blue Jackets 4-1 yesterday, and the best performance of the night belonged not to anyone on the ice, but to this spectator:...
Maybe Don't Tell Romelu Lukaku What To Do
Romelu Lukaku, the Premier League’s leading scorer and guy who is way too talented to be frittering his talents away on Everton, a mid-table club with no real shot at the Champions League, was fed up today during Everton’s 1-1 draw with Manchester United. ...
Stoke's Charlie Adam Tried To Take A Corner And Failed So Hard
Early in the second half of Stoke City’s match against Burnley, the Potters’ Charlie Adam stepped up to take a corner and ... it did not go well....
Reporter Congratulates Loser Rafael Nadal On Win
Right after losing the Miami Open title to Roger Federer in straight sets Sunday, Rafael Nadal was asked how he felt about his “win.”...
Mets Fan Mad
The Mets are 1-0 to start the 2017 season. Some Mets fans are irate....
Idiot On The Field Steals Tom Brady's Jersey
A few of the Patriots showed up with their Lombardi Trophy for Red Sox opening day, and overactive galoot Rob Gronkowski had fun with quarterback Tom Brady by nabbing his recently recovered Super Bowl jersey. ...
An Opening Day Medley Of Great Baseball Stories
To celebrate Opening Day, dig into our trove of profiles of some of the game’s most enduring characters—from Ty Cobb and Pete Reiser to Doc Ellis and Steve Carlton. ...
Roger Federer Can't Be Stopped By Rafael Nadal, Or Anyone Else
Two famous rivals named Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal both got hurt, and both entered rehab cocoons for most of 2016, biding their time until this January. One emerged a radiant butterfly, posting a 19-5 record on the season, playing in three championship matches—a lovely comeback by any metric. Bu...
MLB Opening Day Hashtags, Ranked
Opening Day begins in less than one hour, and we have been blessed with 30 team marketing slogans and emojis to celebrate. Ranked:...
Apparel Company Picks Stupid Fight With Law Firm Over Dumb Grayson Allen Tripping T-Shirt
Smack Apparel—the brilliant minds behind this t-shirt and others of its ilk—has decided to say some very dumb stuff to defend an equally dumb shirt about Grayson Allen’s tripping tendencies. ...
Diminutive Tennis Player's Entertaining Hot Streak Ends With ACL Tear<em></em>
If you were to flesh out the cohort of the next generation of tennis, the first few picks would be easy: Nick Kyrgios and Alexander Zverev are the sure shots; Dominic Thiem and Lucas Pouille are a little older but have got to be in the mix; and from the U.S. there’s Jack Sock and hopefully Frances ...
Good Lord, These Moody Man-Children Can Play Tennis
Nick Kyrgios’s win over Alexander Zverev in Miami Thursday was one of my favorite men’s matches this year, but the whole thing felt like a devil’s bargain: for every point of absolute gold, the public was taxed one drawn-out tantrum. A frustrating proposal for some—definitely for the chair ump and l...
A Few Points About The Quality Of Peggy Noonan's Political Analysis
Why does Peggy Noonan goad me so? Her softness of tone; her airy sound of literary facility, at least to the ears of those who generally read only policy papers; her friendship with Cesar, at the deli counter. In her own way, she is the right wing version of Thomas Friedman: dangerous because people...
Adrian Peterson Is In Exile
Two weeks ago, when the Minnesota Vikings signed free agent back Latavius Murray, general manager and honorary third Bayless brother Rick Spielman said publicly that the signing meant that Adrian Peterson will not be back with the team next season. Since then, Peterson has languished in free agency,...
Jury Foreman Regrets Convicting Former Penn State President Graham Spanier
Richard Black, a 78-year-old truck driver who served as the jury foreman during former Penn State president Graham Spanier’s child endangerment trial, says that he regrets convicting Spanier and wishes he had held out for a hung jury....
Jittery Roger Federer Gets An Ugly Win
Today Roger Federer let slip, like an ill-timed fart, perhaps the worst four-point sequence ever seen on his serve....
Penn State Trustee: "Running Out Of Sympathy For 35 Yr Old, So-Called Victims"
Ex-Penn State president Graham Spanier was found guilty of a misdemeanor charge of child endangerment last week, for his failure to act upon information from graduate assistant Mike McQueary that he’d witnessed Jerry Sandusky engaging in sexual activity with a boy in a campus shower. The conviction...
DeMarcus Cousins Has Fun Fielding Questions About Getting To Play The Kings<em></em>
For the first time in his NBA career, DeMarcus Cousins will play against the Sacramento Kings tomorrow night. He spoke with reporters and seems set on the belief that the Pelicans will come out, play hard, and try to get a win....