pe Page 729 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Saint Louis University's New Mascot Is Hungry For Your Soul
Saint Louis University’s mascot is the Billikens. No, a billiken is not a type of lake, an airplane, or an offbrand big cat. It’s a “mythical good-luck figure who represents ‘things as they ought to be’” according to the school’s website. Things apparently ought to be horrifying, because the updated...
Yaya Touré Won't Play For Man City Again Unless His Shit-Talking Agent Apologizes
After new Manchester City manager Pep Guardiola left Yaya Touré off City’s Champions League roster, Touré’s agent, Dimitri Seluk, said his client was humiliated:...
Lindsey Graham Wants To Destroy America
Nary a single flag-humping horse’s ass, badge-licking fraud, or smarmy nostalgic thinkfluencer in the Western Hemisphere passed up the chance to display performative patriotism in the wake of Colin Kaepernick’s ongoing national anthem protest. Here in 2016, national fabrics both figurative and liter...
Seahawks Heavily Penalized For Overly Intense Offseason Workouts
Like the Giants winning the World Series, Pete Carroll and the Seattle Seahawks strike during even years....
Adrian Peterson Has A Torn Meniscus
Minnesota Vikings running back Adrian Peterson left Sunday’s game early with a leg injury and had to be carried back to the locker room. Today, head coach Mike Zimmer said that Peterson had torn his meniscus....
Adrian Peterson Injured, Then Dragged Through Some Kind Of Restaurant
Adrian Peterson left tonight’s game against the Packers with what appears to be a serious leg injury. If the above GIF of the incident isn’t enough to make Vikings fans reach for the bottle—which, really, should never be kept too far out of reach if you are a Vikings fan—the bizarre gauntlet of a re...
Lions And Titans Combine For 29 Penalties In A Battle Of The Inept
Today’s Titans-Lions game was a sloppy showing between two teams that seemed to have no self-discipline on the field....
Joe Paterno Honored By Tone-Deaf Penn State Officials And Football Fans
Penn State honored Joe Paterno, the former football coach who knowingly harbored serial child rapist Jerry Sandusky on his coaching staff for 33 years, multiple times throughout the first half of today’s football game between the Nittany Lions and Temple. A bevy of tributes and monuments constructed...
Penn State Crisis Communication Professor Has Crisis While Communicating His Adoration For Joe Paterno
Penn State public relations & crisis communication professor Steve Manuel has deleted his Twitter account after a meltdown during which the character from a confused retelling of a Marine Todd story declared that Joe Paterno did nothing wrong and that the longtime Nittany Lions coach is deserving of...
Bills Fans Duel With Pepperoni Sticks
Two Buffalo Bills fans at Thursday’s game opted to use sticks of pepperoni as weapons instead of sustenance. Look at those graceful lunges and parries....
U.S. Soccer Lashes Out Against Megan Rapinoe For Kneeling During Anthem
Megan Rapinoe knelt Thursday night during the national anthem, her first time doing so in a U.S. Women’s National Team uniform, and U.S. Soccer was quick to make its frustration known. She first knelt during the anthem earlier this month, expressing her support for Colin Kaepernick before an NWSL ga...
Lawyer: Derrick Rose Said He Doesn't Know What Consent Means
The woman who says Derrick Rose and two friends raped her in 2013 spoke to reporters again Thursday, a day after granting interviews to the Associated Press, New York Daily News, and Think Progress. Alongside her lawyers and activist Katherine Redmond Brown, Jane Doe answered many questions about th...
Deadspin 25: Can Washington Be The Breakout Team Everyone Wants Them To Be?
Welcome to the Deadspin 25, a college football poll that strives to be more democratic and less useless than every other preseason poll. Leading up to the college football season kickoff, we will give you previews of the 25 teams that you, the readers, voted to be most worthy of writing about. Now, ...
Tony La Russa Is Entitled To His Opinions Even If They Are Dogshit
Think of all the people whose opinions you least want to hear on Colin Kapernick. Don Cherry? Heard from him. Kid Rock? Weighed in. Kate Upton. Hell yeah, you know it. Here’s another!...
Oklahoma State Student Paper Demands CMU Give Back Hail-And-Lateral Victory
The editorial staff of Oklahoma State’s student newspaper, The O’Colly, is NOT happy about Central Michigan’s Hail Mary Lateral play this past Saturday, which was one of the greatest college football plays of all time but which also technically shouldn’t have been allowed by officials....
Kid Rock Pauses Ronnie Van Zant Cosplay Just Long Enough To Say, "Fuck Colin Kaepernick!"<em></em>
Kid Rock is still out there doing Kid Rock things, like putting on concerts for people who desperately want to be tricked into thinking they are listening to Lynyrd Skynard or Bob Seger. During one such concert at Fenway Park, Kid Rock took some time out of his performance to share his brief thought...
Trent Dilfer Should Consider Sitting This One Out
Former NFL QB Trent Dilfer has jumped into the conversation about San Francisco 49ers QB Colin Kaepernick’s protests during the national anthem, and it’s been a rough couple of days for him....