pe Page 767 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Man Convicted Of Killing Adrian Peterson's Son Sentenced To Life In Prison
A South Dakota judge sentenced Joseph Patterson to life in prison without the possibility of parole Thursday, the mandatory minimum sentence. Patterson was convicted of second-degree murder in September for the death of Adrian Peterson two-year-old son, Tyrese Ruffin. Peterson learned that Ruffin wa...
A Shitting Irish Setter, And More Of The Grossest Things You've Seen On Public Transit
Asking about the grossest thing you guys have ever seen on public transportation may have been a mistake, because I’ve been forced to read many a tale about public defecation and urination, among other bodily fluid-based adventures. If that tickles your fancy, then hang on for our readers’ tales of ...
Cris Carter, Lame Dad Who Doesn't Know What Dabbing Is, Defines Dabbing
Okay, so we’re now into the third day of talking about Cam Newton dabbin’ on dem folk and this morning on Mike and Mike, Mike Greenberg and Cris Carter discussed what dabbing is. Greenberg, a lame dad, wasn’t familiar with the dance, so he asked Carter. Carter, himself a lame dad, wasn’t familiar wi...
Evgeni Malkin's Beautiful Dangle Was Exactly What The Penguins Needed
Heading into last night, the Penguins were a respectable 10-7-0, but they weren’t scoring. Marc-Andre Fleury has been amazing, but the offense—headed by two of the best players in the world in Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin, and bolstered by the offseason addition of Phil Kessel—had been bloodless....
Reports: Aldon Smith Suspended For One Year
Raiders defensive end Aldon Smith will be suspended by the NFL for one calendar year, according to numerous reports. The suspension stems from Smith’s Aug. 6 arrest for DUI (his third DUI arrest and fifth overall), hit and run, and vandalism. That arrest was the straw that broke the camel’s back and...
You Can Totally Use Soap On A Cast-Iron Pan
My guest this week on the official Ask a Clean Person podcast is Daniel Gritzer, the culinary director at Serious Eats, who joined me to share the vast amount of knowledge he’s collected over the years about caring for cast-iron cookware. New, old, seasoned, unseasoned, rusted, you name it—Daniel ca...
Report: It's Johnny Football Time
After spending most of the season going out of his way to not name Johnny Manziel the starting quarterback, head coach Mike Pettine has finally relented, according to Fox Sports’ Jay Glazer....
Peyton Manning Needs To Sit
Peyton Manning is racking up injuries almost as fast as interceptions. (Almost.) Two weeks ago, it was his right, throwing shoulder. Last week it was his right foot, the one he’s clearly struggling to push off of and floating weak, underthrown balls. Before yesterday’s terrible 29-13 loss to Kansas ...
Brook Lopez Missed An Easy Game-Winner Against The Warriors
The Warriors got as close to losing as they have all year, as the Brooklyn Nets somehow took them to overtime. Incredibly, they really should have won it here but Brook Lopez missed this easy tip....
Skateboarding Bulldog Sets New World Record
Something incredible happened this week in Peru: an English bulldog named Otto set the new world record for “longest human tunnel traveled through by a skateboarding dog.” Otto, we salute you....
Jerry Sandusky Is Getting His Pension Back
Jerry Sandusky will spend the rest of his natural life in prison for molesting and assaulting numerous boys over a 15-year period, all met via his Second Mile foundation. The day he was sentenced, Pennsylvania’s State Employees’ Retirement Board cut off his sizable pension from his years of service ...
The Cool Pope Is Not Down With Texting At The Dinner Table
Pope Francis is cool with lots of things: He’s down with the gays, he’s (marginally) more chill about abortion, and he would welcome aliens from outer space with open arms. He’s reasonable and real, and down with the kids. But if there’s one thing he will not stand, it’s using your flippin’ smartph...
Tell Us About The Grossest Thing You've Ever Seen On Public Transportation
One morning last week, I was riding the train into Manhattan, and saw a woman slurping down a Tupperware container full of soupy, smelly oatmeal. She sat perched on the edge of her seat, shoveling glob after glob into her mouth. I couldn’t get off the train fast enough. It was gross! Surely you’ve s...
Your Guide To The Craziest Sports Scandal You Aren't Paying Attention To
I get it. You see a headline like “Real Madrid Star Karim Benzema Charged In Sextape Blackmail Case” or “Transcript: Karim Benzema Helped Facilitate Blackmail Plot Against Teammate Over Sextape” and you aren’t quite moved. Sure, words like sex tape and blackmail seem juicy, but who is Karim Benzema ...
How To Clean A Roach-Infested Coffee Maker
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She’ll be here every other week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check the Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her....
Transcript: Karim Benzema Helped Facilitate Blackmail Plot Against Teammate Over Sextape
Furthering the bizarre saga of Karim Benzema and the criminal charges he faces for his involvement in an alleged plot to blackmail his international teammate Mathieu Valbuena over a sextape, L’Équipe has now produced a full transcript of a phone call between the Real Madrid striker and the accused b...
Minnesota Wild's Thomas Vanek Torches Paul Postma For A Filthy Goal
Thomas Vanek’s two goals aided the Minnesota Wild in Tuesday night’s 5-3 win over the Jets, but this undressing of Winnipeg defenseman Paul Postma should’ve counted for five points....
ESPN's Promo For Mavericks-Clippers Goofs On The DeAndre Jordan Saga
The late-night standoff/sleepover that wooed DeAndre Jordan away from the Mavericks and back onto the Clippers will forever be one of the funniest moments in sports. So I’m cool with this silly ESPN promo for tomorrow night’s game between the Mavericks and Clippers, because nobody should ever stop m...