pe Page 772 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Tell Us About Your Bad Tattoos
Oh, you have a tribal band around your bicep? I can tell you were cool in 1997. Maybe it’s a butterfly on the small of your back or a shamrock on your foot to celebrate your shred of Irish heritage. They might call up feelings of regret, but bad tattoos are nothing if not stories to tell. So tell us...
Max Scherzer Pretends To Choke Bryce Harper
The Washington Nationals, the saddest and most dysfunctional team in the league, are somehow still playing baseball games. I kind of assumed that everyone had already packed up their shit and gone home for the winter, but nope! They’re still out there, pitchin’ and hittin’ and catchin’. At least Max...
Let's Deal With That Nasty Shower Curtain Liner
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She’ll be here every other week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check the Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her....
The Jets Are Bringing Their Own Toilet Paper To London
NFL teams are obsessed with routine. Surprises are the worst possibilities imaginable, unless they’re tricking their opponents. When the Jets travel to London for this Sunday’s game against the Dolphins, they’ll be bringing all the American supplies they can in order to keep the peace, including toi...
Debbie Does Drywall: Why Home-Renovation Porn Is My Favorite Porn
Have you ever harbored sexual feelings toward a granite countertop, or imagined that a dual-vanity sink was actually former Prince ingénue Vanity? If so, you’re likely already an avid fan of HGTV (Home & Garden Television, although gardens are scarce), a cable channel that makes the rigorous renovat...
Root For The Mets In The Playoffs
It’s no longer the baseball preseason. Time to get your ass fired up for the regular fall season of America’s Pastime. Read all our playoff team previews here. Today, you’re getting to know … THE NEW YORK METS....
True Tales Of Lube And Laundry
On this episode of the official Ask a Clean Person podcast, Casey Johnston and Cesar Torres of The Sweethome joined me to talk about the wonderful work their site does in testing all manner of household products, from brooms and label-makers to mascara and sex toys....
This Is The Worst Of The Bad Opinions On Bryce Harper, But Only So Far
This teaser tweet is insane enough:...
The Gentleman's Guide To Making Her Come Without Using Your Dick
It’s time to be honest about something women don’t talk about much: the orgasm deficit. A large majority of women can’t reach orgasm from penis-in-vagina intercourse alone—as few as 7 percent can climax regularly from this method—and, worse, some men don’t seem to even realize it! Too often, well-in...
Kevin Johnson’s Shitbaggery, Explained
Over the past year, our Dave McKenna has reported on a number of sordid scandals surrounding former NBA All-Star and current Sacramento mayor Kevin Johnson, culminating in this painful account from a woman who has accused Johnson of sexually abusing her when she was a teenager. Even by the standards...
The Cool Pope In Central Park: A Totally Worthwhile Five-Hour Ordeal
When Pope Francis was still known as Jorge Bergoglio, Archbishop of Buenos Aires, he would ride the subway into the most impoverished parts of the city for home visits. If you know only one thing about the guy, that’s likely it—it’s his origin story and, if you’re a true believer, a symbol of his hu...
"Eat A Whole Can Of Chewing Tobacco," And More Terrible Reader Dares
On Friday, we asked you to tell us about the craziest dare you ever accepted. You all came back with stories of eating things you shouldn’t have eaten, getting naked in places you shouldn’t have gotten naked, and doing various things you definitely shouldn’t have done—especially since in many cases,...
Can The Broncos Figure Out How To Use Peyton Manning?
No battle plan survives contact with the enemy. On paper, it made all the sense in the world for Gary Kubiak to reimagine the Broncos offense, emphasizing the run more, and lining up his quarterback in different positions to keep opponents off-balance. In practice, Peyton Manning doesn’t like taking...
Nationals Suspend Jonathan Papelbon For Choking Out Their Best Player
Since MLB isn’t equipped to punish a player choking out his own teammate in the dugout, the Nationals gave a four-game suspension to fuming goblin Jonathan Papelbon for attacking Bryce Harper during Sunday’s game....
EL-P On The New Cat-Rap Classic <i>Meow The Jewels</i>: "It's A Lonely And Strange Thing"
Embrace the moment: One of the most feverishly anticipated hip-hopalbums of the year is finally here, and it’s made up almost entirely of sampled cat sounds. It’s called Meow the Jewels, and you can download it for free right here, and its backstory is now the stuff of internet (and cat) lore. It st...
Nation Demands Pro-Jonathan Papelbon Takes; Fox Sports Provides Them
The trouble with a story like yesterday’s Bryce Harper-Jonathan Papelbon fight in the Nationals dugout is that it does not contain much—any—ambiguity. It is unambiguously wonderful, that oh-God-this-is-so-fucking-stupid kind of wonderful, and also Jonathan Papelbon unambiguously is a belligerent too...
Enjoy The Matt Williams Farce While You Still Can
It is a testament to the Washington Nationals’ dysfunction that the dugout fight between Jonathan Papelbon and Bryce Harper almost made sense compared to everything that came after. A team’s for-hire closer trying to choke the league MVP is one thing, but it’s absolutely inexplicable that manager Ma...
Peter Sagan Wins Cycling World Championships With Late Solo Attack
Peter Sagan’s 2015 season has been a masterclass of near misses, impressive second places, and unfulfilled expectations. Sure, he won the points jersey at the Tour de France for the fourth year running, but his five runner-up placings overshadowed his versatility. Back in the Spring, when he failed ...
Jonathan Papelbon And Bryce Harper Brawl In Nationals Dugout
The Nationals are really deteriorating as their season comes to an end. They somehow have a winning record, but the dugout has gotten downright toxic. Just this week, Papelbon plunked Manny Machado then Bryce Harper called him out for it. Today, tensions boiled over and the two got into a fight in t...
Tell Us About The Craziest Dare You Ever Accepted
Sometimes it’s hard to refuse a bet or a dare, especially when your pride is at stake, and all your friends are watching, and how could you not? What are you, chicken? So I double-dog-dare you to tell us about the most ridiculous dare you ever agreed to. Come to think of it, I triple-dog-dare you. ...