pe Page 773 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Cool Pope Readies Prog-Rock Album; Here Is The First Track
Yeah, you heard me. Rolling Stone has reported that Pope Francis will be releasing a “pop-rock” album entitled Wake Up in late November. The LP will feature “the Pontiff delivering sacred hymns and excerpts of his most moving speeches in multiple languages paired with uplifting musical accompaniment...
Peyton Manning Is A Rickety Old Man
You knew that already, just from watching his throws float and flutter and seeing it take him nearly the whole of the play clock to pick himself up off the turf. But here’s the lede on ESPN The Magazine’s Peyton Manning feature. Try to read it without wincing:...
Frustrated Idaho Fan Fills Campus With Flyers Calling For Paul Petrino's Firing
Idaho’s football program is 1-2, and some anonymous Vandals fan (or fans) is completely fed up with head coach Paul Petrino. Per the Spokesman-Review, “hundreds” of flyers calling for Petrino’s firing were spread around the university’s campus Monday night....
How To Get In Shape
Feeling sluggish? Doughy? Increasingly short-winded? Well, my flabby friend, it’s time for you to stop putting off the inevitable and get back in shape. You’re not trying to look like Arnold Schwarzenegger in 1980, but with time and commitment, you can at least get yourself looking and feeling bette...
Chandler Parsons Started The Great NBA Emoji War By Accident
The DeAndre Jordan Standoff is one of the best story lines in the history of the NBA offseason, in part because it involved a wacky emoji war that swept across all of NBA social media. But now Mavericks forward Chandler Parsons, the man who started that war, says his opening salvo wasn’t even relate...
John Calipari Probably Loves The Pope Way More Than You Do
It’s Pope Time in America, which means most people on the East Coast are grumbling about traffic and shipping delays and the goddamn Pope messing up their iPhone orders. Kentucky men’s basketball coach John Calipari is not one of these Gloomy Garys, though, because John Calipari loves him some Pope....
<i>Heroes Reborn </i>Is A Terrible Idea That Might Turn Out Great Anyway
So a half-decade later, Heroes returns to NBC tonight as Heroes Reborn, and you probably don’t really give a damn. I get it....
Oh, Hey, Jonathan Papelbon's Still A Dick
The Nationals got exactly what they expected out of Jonathan Papelbon: a very good closer and an unrepentant asshole with a knack for pissing off his own teammates as much as his opponents. After Papelbon plunked Manny Machado in last night’s 4-3 Baltimore win, it was Bryce Harper, of all people, wh...
Keeper Discovers That Throwing The Ball Right Into An Opponent's Head Is A Bad Idea
Technically this isn’t an own goal, since the last touch came from the striker, but it is still the most embarrassing non-own goal you’re likely to see. The keeper can raise his hand all he likes, but it’s not interference when you literally throw the ball right at the dude’s head. The video:...
Police: TCU Football Players Arrested For Assault, Jacking A Case Of Keystone Light
According to numerous reports, TCU senior defensive end Mike Tuaua and redshirt freshman wide receiver Andre Petties-Wilson were arrested on felony robbery and bodily injury charges for allegedly beating up fellow students outside of a party, and then stealing their case of Keystone Light....
I Peed My Pants At A Little League Game, And Other Tales Of Urine-Based Humiliation
A moment of silence for the dignity of everyone who responded when we asked you to tell us about a time you peed your pants. You have no shame, and you should be proud of that. But my God! A lot of you have pissed yourselves at inopportune times! Here are the best of those stories....
How To Clean Semen Off Of Anything
We’re kicking off Season Two of the official Ask a Clean Person podcast in what I consider to be perfect style: covered in semen. My guest this week is Maureen O’Connor, sex columnist for New York Magazine and a contributor to The Cut, who joined me to talk about cum stains. ...
Syracuse QB Eric Dungey Leaves Game After CMU Linebacker's Nasty Hit
Syracuse beat Central Michigan 30-27 in overtime Saturday, but the Orange lost starting freshman quarterback Eric Dungey after he was injured by a hit from Chippewas linebacker Mitch Stanitzek. Dungey didn’t return to the game, and Stanitzek was ejected for targeting....
Pete Carroll Says The Refs Blew That Big Fumble Call
Midway through the fourth quarter, with Seattle down seven and driving, Russell Wilson was picked off by Jayrone Elliott on an attempted screen pass. But Elliott coughed up the ball, and after the pile-on was cleared, Seahawks tackle Justin Britt came up with it. Packers ball, the officials said. Ca...
Tell Us About A Time You Pissed Yourself
You may have a story about that one time you peed all over yourself. If you don’t, you likely have a story about that one time your buddy peed all over himself. We want to hear those stories. ...
How To Clean An Extra-Foul Bathroom
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She’ll be here every other week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check the Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her....
Hulk Kick Ball Hard
You’d think by this point soccer balls would know better than to make Hulk mad but apparently not. Oh well, their loss is our gain....
Ta-Nehisi Coates Needs An Editor, Says Editor Who Edited Like One Blog Post In 18 Months
Earlier this week, Atlantic writer Ta-Nehisi Coates published an enormous study of mass incarceration and its impact on African-American families in America today. The article is comprehensive, exhaustive, compellingly written, and reaches back into centuries of American oppression to come to the co...
Don't Laugh: Metta World Peace Can Help The Lakers
News surfaced last week that Metta World Peace had been working out at the Lakers practice facility and was getting close to a one-year deal with the team. Let Woj tell it. “Inching closer”/“an increasing expectation,” la di da. The important part is holy shit the Lakers might sign Metta World Peace...