pe Page 784 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Clint Dempsey Red Carded For Tearing Up Ref's Notebook
The Portland Timbers met the Seattle Sounders last night in the U.S. Open Cup. The game ended 3-1, with Portland scoring the three goals and Seattle losing three men to red cards while finishing the match with just seven players on the pitch thanks to a late injury after they had already used all th...
This Moment Of Phillies Ineptitude Brought To You By The Bullpen Phone
How bad were the Phillies against Baltimore tonight? So bad they had to bring in Jeff Francoeur to pitch. Except that Francoeur couldn’t get anybody out, so pitching coach Bob McClure tried to call down to the bullpen to get a real pitcher up. One problem: the bullpen phone was off the hook after Ph...
Hope Solo Is Not A Problem
So this is what equality looks like. Finally, sports writers care enough about women’s sports to bother digging into a female athlete’s personal life and find out she’s a mess: married to a man once accused of hitting her, brawling with her own family members, and getting belligerent with cops when ...
Hey Man, Go Get A Pedicure
You know what? Just because you’re a dude, doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy a pedicure just like your female counterparts. Pedicures don’t see gender or sexuality. Pedicures are for everyone....
Was Yoenis Cespedes Taking A Dump Or What?
A weird thing happened in the top of the third inning of last night’s game between the Reds and Tigers. Right as Anibal Sanchez was about to deliver the first pitch of the inning, everyone realized that the Tigers had no left fielder. Where was Yoenis Cespedes?...
Clippers Acquire Lance Stephenson For Matt Barnes And Spencer Hawes
As reported by everybody and confirmed by the Clippers, along with the Hornets they completed the rarest of things tonight: a consequential trade during the NBA Finals. Charlotte will send Lance Stephenson to Los Angeles, and will receive Spencer Hawes and Matt Barnes in return. This is interesting ...
All The Deaths On Last Night's <i>Game Of Thrones</i> Finale, In Slow Motion
While HBO’s Game of Thrones may be leaving viewers wishing for death, several characters on last night’s season finale actually received such glorious release from the corporeal realm. Probably. So here’s everybody who died, we think, last night; since we love ruining things, we present all the Game...
Neymar, Brazil's Soccer Messiah, Is Somehow Surpassing His Own Hype
A fundamental part of the marvel that is LeBron James is the sheer madness of his journey. Here is a man who was on the cover of national magazines and playing in front of millions on cable TV as a high schooler, who by the time he was eligible to vote was already being hailed as the successor to qu...
Cleancast: The Scourge Of Moths And Glitter
My guest this week on the official Ask a Clean Person podcast is Kate McKean, a vice president and agent at the Howard Morhaim Literary Agency. Kate, who often represents crafty types who want to turn their work into book projects, joined me to talk about two invasive species: moths and glitter....
Sun Wreaks Havoc On Blue Jays-Red Sox Game
The last-place Red Sox don’t need outside forces to help them lose, because they can handle it all on their own, but the sun ruined their composure anyway in Sunday’s game against the Blue Jays. Dustin Pedroia lost a pop fly in the fourth, and four Red Sox combined for another botched out in the fif...
Peñarol Fans Riot, Fight With Cops As Nacional Wins Uruguayan Title
Today’s national title-deciding match between Uruguayan powers Nacional and Peñarol turned ugly as a penalty in extra time launched Estadio Centenario into havoc with Peñarol hooligans destroying the stadium and fighting riot police....
How Many Mistakes Can You Find In This Screencap?
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Holy Shit, Colombia Beat France!
The first upset of the Women’s World Cup happened this afternoon, and it was a very big one. Locked into a tight match with France all day, when the final whistle blew Colombia were on top 2-0. Ranked 28th in the world by FIFA, Colombia became the lowest ranked team to ever knockoff a top-10 team (F...
Sources: Adrian Wojnarowski Is Pitching His Own Vanity Site
The one truly indispensable basketball reporter is making moves. According to multiple sources, Yahoo reporter Adrian Wojnarowski has approached a number of basketball writers over the past few weeks and pitched them on joining a new personality-driven basketball website that he is contemplating. It...
John Carpenter's <i>Assault On Precinct 13 </i>Is Ice Cold And Just Right
John Carpenter’s original Assault on Precinct 13 is one of the greatest zombie movies of all time, and there’s not a single zombie in it. The elements are all there: The chilling synth score, a cast of randoms thrown together by chance, an isolated siege site, the narrow escapes and eerie moments be...
Three Swimmers Injured After Being Hit By Bus At The European Games
Yesterday at the European Games in Baku, Azerbaijan, three Austrian synchronized swimmers were injured, one severely, after a bus just up and plowed through them in the athletes village. The video, obtained by Meydan TV, is above, and it might be upsetting. ...
The Sling I Wear On My Mangled Arm Smells Like Ass, Please Help
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She’ll be here every week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check the Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her....
Arab Leaders To Combat Anti-Qatar "Propaganda" With Pro-Qatar Propaganda
The Gulf Cooperation Council—an intergovernmental body made up of a handful of Middle-Eastern nations—is sick and damn tired of the Western media’s continued harping on all the terrible shit going on in relation to the Qatar World Cup. They will not stand for it anymore. As proof, they’ve called on ...
Women's World Cup Group E Preview: Oodles Of Attacking Midfielders
Here’s everything you need to know about Group E....