Was Yoenis Cespedes Taking A Dump Or What?

A weird thing happened in the top of the third inning of last night’s game between the Reds and Tigers. Right as Anibal Sanchez was about to deliver the first pitch of the inning, everyone realized that the Tigers had no left fielder. Where was Yoenis Cespedes?

The consensus opinion seems to be that Cespedes was late taking the field because he was in the bathroom, but I can’t find one beat reporter who asked Cespedes exactly what was going on in that bathroom—no asides in any game stories, no tweets sent from the postgame locker room. Where are the ethics? The world needs to know if Yoenis Cespedes was late because he was taking a big poop.