pe Page 788 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Team-Wide Meltdown Ends With Manager, 4 Players Red-Carded In 5 Minutes
Okay, you’re losing, and it’s at home, and maybe you feel the first straight red shown to one of your players was harsh, but Jesus, guys, get ahold of yourselves....
The World Is A Hurtful Goddamn Mess: A Message To The Class Of 2015
Oh, God. Grad season. THE WORST. Yes, it’s that time of year when colleges around the nation pay $50,000+ a pop for some celebrity or politician or (God help the children) author to come in and spray hot knowledge all over the senior class before the kids can finally stand in line for a diploma and ...
Cristiano Ronaldo Scoffs At Championship, Exults In His Own Ronaldoness
For pretty much everyone involved or invested in La Liga, the biggest opportunity on offer during yesterday’s penultimate match day of the season was, seemingly, for Barcelona to wrap up the league title by beating Atlético. Cristiano Ronaldo, though, had his eyes on a larger prize. While Barcelona ...
Cleancast: Which Is Worse, Human Hair Or Cat Hair?
Ask a Clean Person: The Podcast debuted last week on the Heritage Radio Network. My first guest was Choire Sicha, a writer of sorts in New York City (his words!) and co-proprietor of The Awl, who joined me to discuss hairy problems, human and feline....
Phillies Catcher Accidentally Pegs Pitcher In Throat
Thank the capabilities of slow-mo these days, because just seconds after Phillies catcher Cameron Rupp flung a ball right into pitcher Sean O’Sullivan’s throat, the broadcast immediately showed two exceptional angles of “Man Getting Hit By Baseball.”...
Doc Rivers Can't Be Serious
Here’s something crazy that Clippers coach and GM Doc Rivers said after his team finished choking away a 3-1 series lead to the Rockets last night (via USA Today):...
Rockets Blow Out Clippers, Win Series After Going Down 3-1
Clippers-Rockets will go down as one of the stranger seven-game series in recent history....
Stadium Lied To; Fans, Players Cheer Title They Didn't Win
Strap yourselves in, because this story is batshit....
How To Grill A Whole Fish, Because It's Just The Best Thing To Do
There are many good reasons for grilling whole fish. The skin and bones keep the flesh moist and flavorful; the skin itself, when cooked well, is life-changingly delicious; whole fish stands up better to grilling heat than a fillet or fish steak will; whole fish usually costs less by weight than the...
One Minute Of Hockey Kids Falling Down All Over The Place
Do you want to watch little hockey players stumbling everywhere and being adorably bad? Also, it’s set to “Yakety Sax,” as it should be. (As a warning, the video automatically plays. Sorry.)...
<i>Pitch Perfect 2 </i>Is Bigger, Bawdier, And Substantially Worse
1. Pitch Perfect 2 is a total bummer, and it takes a while to figure out why. The 2012 original was such a pleasant, charming surprise, smart and clever and warm-hearted, but also pleasantly geeky; a cappella groups are not the centerpiece of the collegiate experience in the world we live in, but Pi...
Clippers Blow Out Rockets, Advance To–Wait, What? The <i>Rockets</i> Won???
Late in the third quarter of last night’s game at Staples Center, the Rockets looked about as dead as any team has been in these playoffs. They’d been outscored 23-to-6 by the Clippers in the quarter and fallen behind by 19; they weren’t defending or working for good looks on offense and looked pret...
Superclásico Suspended After Fans Pepper-Spray River Plate Players
Tonight’s second leg of the Superclásico Copa Libertadores matchup between Argentine powerhouses Boca Juniors and River Plate was suspended as the visitors were attacked by pepper spray-wielding Boca supporters....
Camden Yards Workers Screwed Over Yet Again
The other day, the Baltimore Orioles got lots of positive press by announcing that stadium staffers would be compensated for wages lost while a state of emergency was declared in the city. Two home games were canceled, another was played at an empty Camden Yards, and three others were moved to Tampa...
Burn
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Dumb-Ass Fan Caught On Camera Stealing A Tablet After Press Conference
We can understand the temptation, hanging around after a press conference and seeing all that technology tantalizingly strewn about with no one watching over it. But dude—while looking around all sneaky-like, didn’t you notice all the cameras around? ...
How To Remove Every Stain From Your Tie
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She’ll be here every week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check the Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her....
Rockets Return The Favor, Whoop The Clippers To Avoid Elimination
With the Grizzlies-Warriors, Wizards-Hawks, and Cavaliers-Bulls (before tonight) series all even at two games a piece, the Rockets-Clippers series was the outlier. The Clippers stomped all over the Rockets in Games 1, 3, and 4, winning by 16, 25, and 33 points. Chris Paul didn’t even play in the fir...
Deadcast: Let Me Explain That Stupid <i>Chopped</i> Shirt
Last week I went on Chopped and won and everyone made fun of my shirt, because you people are SOULLESS JACKALS. Anyway, bossman Tim Marchman had a few questions for me about this shirt, mostly so that he could discover new avenues for mocking it. And so I am ready to answer those questions—along wit...