pe Page 802 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

How <i>3rd Rock From The Sun</i>’s Super Bowl Episode Killed The ’90s
We have a problem, those of us who lived through the '90s to whom the term millennial is applied technically but warily, with enormous caveats, because we're nearing (or in) our thirties and didn't grow up on Drake and Josh and helicopter parenting like most other millennials. The '90s are back—th...

9/11 Truthers Love Pete Carroll
Seahawks head coach Pete Carroll, a bold truth seeker who isn't afraid to ask the difficult questions about what really happened on Sept. 11, 2001, has become a bit of a hero to those in the 9/11 truther movement....

Super Bowl Footballs Will Receive Extra Security
Remember, if you can, back a whole three days ago, before Marshawn Lynch conquered America: it's tough to believe now, but there used to be a big scandal about deflated footballs or something. (It's hard to recall the specifics.) The NFL is taking no chances on a repeat of the controversy. Nobody is...

Katy Perry Vs. Marshawn Lynch: The "Don't Get Fined" Mashup
Pop star and Super Bowl halftime performer Katy Perry dropped a few Lynchian "I'm just here so I won't get fined" lines during her presser today in Glendale, so we mashed her up with some of Marshawn's original versions from yesterday. Have fun, kids!...

This Is Gonna Be The Best Halftime Show Ever
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....

The Patriots' Super Bowl Success Relies On The Brady-Gronk Connection
Since Randy Moss got the Jazzy Jeff toss from the New England in the middle of the 2010 season, Patriots fans have spent offseason after offseason squawking about the team's need for a deep-threat receiver. Those people are idiots. The current Patriots do not need a deep threat, because Tom Brady su...

Watch The Deadspin Super Bowl Ad That Was Too Hot For TV! (NSFW!)
You know the drill by now: Some dipshit company like GoDaddy or Carl's Jr. makes a lascivious Super Bowl ad, only to be bombarded with a host of last-second edits from the prudes in your average network's S&P department. And then they go ahead and post the uncut ad—highly NSFW (OOH!), like the one a...

Do Not Root For The Goddamn Patriots
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here....

Lynch To Media: "If Y'all Ain't Mad At Me, Then What Y'all Here For?"
Marshawn Lynch had to make his final Super Bowl week media appearance today, and unlike his previous two press conferences, he came with a direct message for writers and reporters....

NFLPA Response: With These Benevolent Owners, Who Needs A Union?
After our editorial urging NFL players to form a union ran yesterday, we received the below reply from NFLPA Assistant Executive Director of External Affairs George Atallah....

Q&A: John Carpenter On His New Album, And The New Images In His Head
There's no professional reason for John Carpenter to release new movies or music these days. The director-writer-producer-composer—who's shot, financed, and/or scored dozens of lauded cult films, including 1981's Escape From New York, 1982's The Thing, and 1988's They Live—has earned plenty of r...

Did Chris Paul Get Punched By A Ghost Or What?
One of two things happened here....

Key & Peele Will Make You Laugh With More Fake Football Names
This is the third time they've done this sketch, and it is somehow not yet completely tiresome. This latest edition is aided by the presence of a few guest stars....

I'm A Grown Man Who Wet The Bed. What Do I Do Now?
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She'll be here every week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check the Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her....

Watch Marshawn Lynch Frustrate Adult Reporters By Not Talking
Marshawn Lynch had to sit through another five-minute session with the media today. As expected, he didn't have anything to say—"You know why I'm here" was his go-to answer for the day—and oh man did that get under the skin of the grown men who, for some reason, continue to ask him questions....

It Is Time To Crown The Ultimate Super Bowl Snack. VOTE VOTE VOTE!
It comes down to this, a battle of the triangular, compressed corn chip: The final matchup in our Ultimate Super Bowl Snack Playoffs pits two number 1 seeds, Nacho Cheese Doritos and Tortilla Chips, against one another....

J.R. Smith: I'm Better Now Because I Can't Really Party In Cleveland
J.R. Smith has been pretty good since joining the Cleveland Cavaliers, scoring 14 points per game and shooting 37 percent from behind the arc. While playing for the Knicks during the first chunk of the season, Smith was scoring just 10 points per game and shooting 35 percent from behind the arc. Acc...

Saints Execs Claim Tom Benson Is Still An Active Owner
Saints team president Dennis Lauscha and general manager Mickey Loomis spoke with the New Orleans Times-Picayune yesterday, and claimed that team owner Tom Benson is not a mentally feeble puppet being manipulated by his wife, as has been claimed in a lawsuit filed by Benson's recently jilted heirs....

Dumbass Mad At Marshawn Lynch For Giving Him Column Fodder
Seahawks running back Marshawn Lynch gave the same answer to every question he received at Super Bowl Media Day, and Philadelphia Daily News columnist Marcus Hayes got upset about it—so upset, in fact, that he used Lynch's anti-media performance as a topic for his latest column. ...

Two Former Vanderbilt Football Players Found Guilty Of Rape
After just three hours of deliberation, a jury found former Vanderbilt football players Cory Batey and Brandon Vandenburg, who were accused of raping a woman on the Vanderbilt campus in 2013, guilty on all charges. Both Batey and Vandenburg were found guilty of multiple counts of aggravated rape and...