pe Page 803 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

What Are Bill Belichick's Other Horcruxes?
Seeing as how Lord Belichick inadvertently revealed the nature of one of his Horcruxes today, we thought now would be a good time to try and figure out what items house the other six pieces of his sundered soul. These are our guesses, and please feel free to share your own in the comments....

Watch Marshawn Lynch Give The Same Answer 25 Times At Media Day
Seattle Seahawks running back Marshawn Lynch made an appearance at Super Bowl Media Day today so as to avoid getting fined. In the video above, you can see him respond to 25 straight questions with the same answer, "I'm here so I won't get fined."...

One-Seventh Of Bill Belichick's Soul Likely Hidden In Monkey Puppet
During his Media Day session, Bill Belichick received a question that was actually valuable from Patriots linebacker Jerod Mayo's daughter. She asked him what his favorite stuffed animal was, and Belichick hit her with this:...

Rob Gronkowski Reads Gronk Erotica Out Loud At Super Bowl Media Day
Thanks to the half-serious circus that is Super Bowl Media Day, someone persuaded extremely tall fifth-grader Rob Gronkowski into reading a line from A Gronking To Remember, the Gronk-themed erotica that surfaced on Amazon earlier this month....

Rappers On Instagram, Ranked
Rap Instagram is a useful tool, because how else would you know 2 Chainz recently procured a drone or Rick Ross went on vacation with Bun B? It is a place to find out new things about your favorite hip-hop stars and to see their personalities flourish. But some of these guys and gals are better ...

How To Beat Insomnia, Or At Least Learn Good Sleep Habits, Ya Zombie
One of the features of young-adulthood is being oh God like soooooo hungover and sleep-deprived all the time, darkly glamorous behind thick, black vampire shades and beneath wild bedhead, lurching into your workplace like Death itself with a not now OK scowl and scandalizing all the old married fa...

The Patriots' Hotel's Fire Alarm Went Off Last Night
The Patriots' first night in Arizona was not a restful one; after getting in and doing their press conferences (including a particularly impassioned one from Bob Kraft), the team turned in—only to be woken up by a blaring fire alarm at around 1:30 local time....

Brandon Browner Says Injured Seahawks Are Targets
Patriots corner Brandon Browner—who spent the previous three seasons with the Seahawks—was not shy about his belief that New England needs to target his banged-up former teammates. Speaking to ESPN, Browner specifically referenced Richard Sherman's sprained elbow and Earl Thomas's separated shoulder...

Jamal Crawford Turns Sure Turnover Into Behind-The-Back Assist
Jamal Crawford had a Jamal Crawford game tonight, dropping 21 of his 23 points in the fourth quarter on steady diet of three-pointers as he led the Clippers from eight points down to a 102-98 win over the Nuggets. But his most amazing play wasn't a basket, but this crazy save and assist to Matt Ba...

Robert Kraft Doubles Down On Patriots' Innocence, Asks NFL For Apology
Patriots owner Robert Kraft crashed a press conference scheduled for Bill Belichick and Tom Brady in Arizona tonight, telling the assembled media "I want to make it clear that I believe unconditionally that the New England Patriots have done nothing wrong" in response to accusations that they deflat...

Arizona Man Loses Super Bowl Gig After Posting Credential On Facebook
Former DJ Russ Knight was picked to work Super Bowl XLIX in Phoenix as an assistant frequency coordinator. He was so excited that he Facebooked a photo of himself pointing at the credential around his neck. That picture cost Knight his job before he could even start it....

The Ultimate Super Bowl Snack Semifinals Start NOW. VOTE!
You God-damned animals voted Ridged Chips out? In favor of Kettle Chips??? What kind of perversion is this? Fine, you know what? Go scratch, more Ruffles for me....

Please Laugh At This Soccer Team Struggling To Win A Fixed Game
Late on in this match in the Albanian Superliga, Flamurtari found itself tied with Teuta, 1-1. In a non-fixed game, you'd expect Teuta to protect their goal and maybe push on for the winner. Instead, we see the shameless display above, with Teuta all but begging their opponents to score, and Flamurt...

"Big Baby" Davis Sat On A Woman's Face
Sitting in the front row at an NBA game must be baller, up until the point when 300-pound Glen "Big Baby" Davis crushes your face with his massive butt. To the GIFs!...

NFL: We Won't Sell That Officially-Licensed Photo Of Lynch's Dick Grab
An NFL spokesman says the league has decided a $150 Seahawks NFC Championship collage that featured Marshawn Lynch's "obscene" crotch grab wasn't officially-licensed after all, and has pulled it from the NFL Shop. ...

The NFL Sells A Photo Of Marshawn Lynch's "Obscene" Gesture For $150
The NFL fined Marshawn Lynch $20,000 for grabbing his dick and now says they may penalize the team yardage if the Seahawks running back pulls an M.J. during the Super Bowl. But the league's distaste for "hold my dick" stopped once they realized they could make money on Lynch's johnson, as evidenced ...

Even QVC Is Making Jokes About The Patriots' Footballs
Shut it down. All that can be said about Ballghazi has been said....

Bill Nye The Science Guy Says Bill Belichick Is Full Of Shit
Science expert Bill Nye appeared on Good Morning America today to unequivocally call out Bill Belichick as a bullshitter....

ProFootballTalk: Seahawks To Be Penalized Yardage For Lynch Dick Grabs
The NFL will be trying a new tactic to force Marshawn Lynch into line, according to a report from ProFootballTalk. Lynch was fined $20,000 for the above crotch grab in Sunday's NFC Championship Game, and fined $11,500 earlier this season for doing the same. Since fines apparently do not deter behavi...

Bill Belichick: "I've Handled Dozens Of Balls" In Search To Do Science
The NFL's resident Mr. Wizard, Bill Belichick, attempted to explain away Ballghazi by running a post pattern on science this afternoon, going long on Boyle's Law and the intricacies of the New England Patriots' process of touching, rubbing, and caressing balls....