pe Page 847 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
A Treasure Trove Of Synchronized Ice Skaters Freaking The Hell Out
Remember the Starlights, the super fucking excited ice skaters that we couldn't stop watching earlier this week? If you enjoyed their enthusiasm, you will also enjoy this compilation video of other synchronized ice skating teams flipping out after seeing their scores. Synchronized ice skaters are my...
The Greatest Season In NBA History*, Brought To You By DeAndre Liggins
The play above—what looks like an afterthought in LeBron James's 61-point outburst against the Bobcats—represents the sole meaningful play of #14 DeAndre Liggins's season. Spending most of the year in D-League, Liggins was signed by Miami late in February and released in mid-March, appearing in just...
Your Bong Is Filthy. Let's Clean It.
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She'll be here every other week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check The Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her....
Head-To-Head Records Of The NBA Playoffs, As Cool Radial Charts
Over on NBA.com, Andy Bergmann (@dubly) has put together some neat radial charts showing the head-to-head records between this season's playoff teams....
European Golfer Jumps Into Lake To Escape Hornet Attack
Pablo Larrazabal was just minding his own business, playing through his second round at the Malaysian Open on Friday, when all of a sudden—HORNET ATTACK!...
Michigan Playground Pooper Now Inspiring Highway Billboards
There's some weird shit going on in Ypsilanti, Mich., right now. Apparently, some terrible person has been taking dumps on playground equipment all over town, and one local marketing firm has had enough of it. ...
Chill-Ass Orangutan Doesn't Even Care He Got Shot In The Leg
What we have here is a 14-year-old Sumatran Orangutan receiving medical treatment from a member of the Sumatran Orangutan Conservation Programme after taking an air-gun pellet to the leg. Is this chill-ass orangutan upset by any of this? ...
I Can't Stop Watching These Synchronized Skaters Freak The Hell Out
This happened back in March, at the 2014 U.S. Synchronized Skating Championships, and there is just so much to love about it. What you are watching is a synchronized skating team called the Starlights absolutely losing its collective mind after seeing its score from the short program....
First-Person Footage Shows Us What It's Like To Play Linebacker
At this year's spring game, the Miami Hurricanes put a camera on linebacker Denzel Perryman's helmet, so as to show the rest of the world what a pain in the ass playing linebacker is....
Why I Fixed Fights
I fixed a lot of fights over the years. In two I didn't fix but should have, people paid heavily for my carelessness. Even though I set up Mitch "Blood" Green and Leon Spinks cushion-soft in their comeback fights, I managed to get one embarrassed and the other nearly killed. There had been opportuni...
Chris Paul's Handles Are The Best Handles
Point God, meet Evan Fournier. Evan Fournier, say goodbye to the Point God....
Junkies Have A Thing For Neil Young
"Loss Prevention" a short story from Richard Lange's impressive collection Dead Boys. Here's how it begins:...
So Apparently Blake Griffin Is A Young Earth Creationist
There's an interview with Blake Griffin in the latest issue of Rolling Stone that contains one particularly alarming bit of information. It appears that Blake Griffin is a hardcore, Jesus-rode-a-dinosaur-type creationist. ...
Why Do Most College Football Kickers Suck? Chris Kluwe Explains.
So Drew asked me to fill in for him on this week's Funbag, because apparently as an unemployed former punter I'm supposed to have oodles of free time to do his job while he goes off and teaches his kids how to cook meth with his neighbor Chad, or whatever the fuck it is parenting entails in Yonkers....
Penguins Fan Says He Was Booted For Pierre McGuire Sign
Penguins superfan Cy Clark alleges he was kicked out of yesterday's game because of his sign of Pierre McGuire's noggin, with "REGIS" stamped on the forehead. (McGuire's real first name is Regis. Now you know!) Others say there's more to the story....
Bo Pelini Leads His Team Out The Tunnel With A Cat
Nebraska football head coach Bo Pelini walked out of the tunnel with a cat for today's spring game. Even if you don't get the inside joke, it's still pretty funny....
How To Grill A Flank Steak, The Steak For Socialists
We are Americans (no, not you, Canadians) (OK, you too, c'mon over here ya big galoots), and we like big hunks of steak*. To be precise, we like our own big hunks of steak: We like to saunter into Bob's House of Steak all bowlegged and gimlet-eyed like John Wayne and order for ourselves some great ...
ESPN Uses "Street Clothes" Photo Of Kaepernick, Then Decides Otherwise
For some reason, ESPN used a photo of Colin Kaepernick in a backwards hat and regular clothes early Saturday morning while reporting on his "suspicious incident." Usually, a standard photo of him in a uniform would accompany the report. Why the switch?...
I'm <em>Bon Appétit</em>'s Adam Rapoport. Let's Talk About Masters Food.
Adam Rapoport is the editor-in-chief of Bon Appétit; before that, he was GQ's style editor, and before that he was the editor of the restaurant section at Time Out New York and worked as an editor and writer for the James Beard Foundation's Publications Office. He also happens to be a sports fan, a...
Colin Kaepernick Responds To Allegations Of Sexual Assault
Via his Twitter account, 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick has responded to reports about his alleged involvement in a "suspicious incident" that is currently being investigated by the Miami police. He took particular issue with TMZ's report, which stated that Kaepernick is being investigated for s...