pe Page 930 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Phil Mickelson Came <em>Thisclose</em> To Shooting A 59 Today
This is sort of agonizing. On the last hole of the Phoenix Open today, this birdie putt lipped out for Phil Mickelson. Had he holed it, he would have shot a 59, which is golf's answer to baseball's .400, i.e. the outer bound of human ability. Only five golfers have shot a 59 on the PGA Tour. Micke...

The "What Time Is The Super Bowl" SEO-Whoring Is Especially Sad This Year
The Huffington Post mastered the science of gaming Google two years ago, with a post headlined simply: "What Time Does The Superbowl Start?" It contained nothing but the date and time of the Super Bowl. The concept was often imitated, but never duplicated....

When Amani Toomer Looks At Ray Lewis, He Thinks "Hypocrisy"
The Super Bowl media crush isn't just about the players actually playing—the black hole also sucks in retired stars like Marshall Faulk and Jerry Rice and, um, Amani Toomer. The former Giants receiver has an extremely tangential connection to Sunday's matchup—Toomer's Giants lost to Ray Lewis's Rave...

Confessions Of A Glory Boy
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season....

Which Harbaugh Brother Would Philandering Ladies Prefer To Hump? Who Cares, Let's Make Sex Jokes
It's the week before the Super Bowl, which means that our inbox is getting flooded with stupid press releases. One in particular, from someone affiliated with AshleyMadison.com (a website where married people can find other married people to bone), is very stupid but also attention-grabbing. The we...

Rick Reilly's Column About Colin Kaepernick Is The Smarmiest Story Of Super Bowl Week
The crux of Rick Reilly's latest column for ESPN.com is this: San Francisco 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick should take steps to foster a relationship with his birth mother because Reilly's own adopted daughter has a healthy relationship with her birth mother. No, seriously, that's Reilly's argu...

Drunk 49ers Fan Crashes Broadcast. Reporter Asks Her, "How Long Have You Had An STD?"
Jessica Sanchez, of WKMG in Orlando, is our new local news hero. While doing a stand-up in the French Quarter on New Orleans's preparations for the Super Bowl, Sanchez had an uninvited guest crash the party. Since the woman wanted to talk on camera so badly, Sanchez improvised the perfect line of ...

49ers Cornerback Chris Culliver Is Not Cool With Gay People
Yesterday, Chris Culliver sat down for a radio interview with shock jock Artie Lange. There was no mention of suckingcock.com, but the conversation did turn toward gays in the NFL. Here's how Culliver responded when Lange asked him if any players on the 49ers were gay:...

The Hater's Guide To Ray Lewis
It’s not exactly daring to hate Ray Lewis. Facebook data show that most people are rooting for the 49ers to win the Super Bowl, and I’m sure “FUCK RAY LEWIS” has a lot to do with that. No one disputes that Lewis should be a Hall of Famer, and I guess we can all agree that he’s a good leader. He sure...

Survey: 27 Percent Of Americans Believe God Helps Decide Who Wins Sporting Events
Because it's Super Bowl time, everyone has to get in on the football. The Public Religion Research Institute conducted a survey earlier this month, and asked its random sample of 1,033 adults a bunch of questions about the NFL. Most of the responses aren't surprising or interesting (Lots of people w...

Ray Lewis Thinks Those PED Allegations Are A "Trick Of The Devil"
Ray Lewis's crazypants Super Bowl media tour continues apace. Yesterday, he was saying nonsense about it being "God's time" when asked to speak about his 2000 murder charge. Today, he called recent PED allegations levied against him by Sports Illustrated a "trick of the devil." Here's Lewis, via Pr...

ESPN Asks: When Will Anyone Pay Attention To A Famous Football Player In This Super Bowl?
OK, now that two different reporters have battled for the chance to drag the mother of a victim in the Ray Lewis murder case to the graveyard, what else can the members of the press corps do to demonstrate that their Super Bowl coverage is about the unexpected and unappreciated angles? Looks like it...

Chris Ault Wanted To Convert Colin Kaepernick To Free Safety
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Ault wasn't impressed when he first met Kaepernick at Nevada....
![49ers Fan Says She Wired Some Guy $5,900 For Super Bowl Tickets, But All She Got Was A Note That Read, "Go Ravens!!!" [UPDATED]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18d0hv56dpqskjpg.jpg)
49ers Fan Says She Wired Some Guy $5,900 For Super Bowl Tickets, But All She Got Was A Note That Read, "Go Ravens!!!" [UPDATED]
Last week, Sharon Osgood told the San Jose Mercury News she was disappointed that resale prices for tickets to Super Bowl XLVII were averaging more than three grand a pop. The Hayward, Calif., resident kept looking, and eventually she found someone on Craigslist who was offering four seats for $5,90...

Ray Lewis Would Prefer You Stop Asking Questions About His Murder Case, Because "This Is God's Time"
Do people like Ray Lewis? It's hard to tell. Baltimoreans clearly do. But everybody else? No, right? He is—at this point—an average player, one who consumes the spotlight with canned postgame bible-thumping and tears. That's no good....

Is The NFL Rigging The System To Put An Unqualified Referee In The Super Bowl?
Jerome Boger will referee the Super Bowl. Jerome Boger probably doesn't deserve to referee the Super Bowl. Football Zebras, a site devoted solely to NFL officiating, reported on Jan. 20 that Boger's unspectacular in-season grades for his refereeing had been mysteriously changed after the fact to mak...

Ray Lewis Has Reportedly Used A Banned Substance For Years, But No One Cares Because It's Football
In the wake of baseball's latest PED scandal, the NFL has one of its own. Everyone try to look surprised. This week's issue of Sports Illustrated has a story on supplement company S.W.A.T.S. That stands for Sports with Alternatives to Steroids, the alternative apparently being non-steroidal banned d...

Report: A-Rod, Gio Gonzalez, Nelson Cruz, Melky Cabrera, Others Named In Records Of Miami PED Dealer
Set aside some time to read Tim Elfrink's bombshell story in the Miami New Times, on what can only be termed BALCO East: a Miami "anti-aging clinic" that specializes in HGH, synthetic testosterone, and any other performance-enhancing drug you can imagine. We know this because the clinic's director h...

Help! Get! This! Ravens! Cheerleader! To! The! Super! Bowl!
The first thing you'll notice about this petition is that it contains a great deal of exclamation points. Why are there so many exclamation points? Who knows. Maybe it's a rhetorical strategy that we aren't familiar with, or perhaps the cheerleader who presumably wrote the petition embodies her pep...

Bernard Pollard: "What A Coincidence It Is That Somebody Always Has To Get Hurt When I'm On The Field."
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Pollard doesn't want to injure anyway, it just kind of happens....