pe Page 931 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
NBC Really Wanted You To Know Last Night's Pro Bowl Was About "Effort"
NFL commissioner Roger Goodell made it clear the Pro Bowl wasn't long for this Earth unless selected players started showing competitive effort in the game. With broadcast rights to the televised cash cow at stake, it was important viewers get the impression what they were watching wasn't just a j...
How Two Newspapers Wound Up Staging The Same Sob Story About The Ray Lewis Murder Case
Richard Lollar was one of two men killed in the 2000 Super Bowl week stabbing outside an Atlanta nightclub that led to Ray Lewis's pleading guilty to obstruction of justice. For 13 years Lollar has been buried in his hometown of Akron, and in those 13 years his mother Priscilla had never been to his...
Joe Flacco's Father Summed Him Up Pretty Perfectly
Scott Cacciola has a fine story in today's New York Times about Joe Flacco and those wedding photos that won us over so long ago. But this story is particularly special because it includes this quote, from Flacco's father, which confirms that his son is a big-armed oaf:...
Lance Armstrong "Singing" Radiohead's "Creep" Is Strangely Haunting
"Creep" is one of those songs that shouldn't be covered lightly. For every brilliantly executed rendition, there are five or six that will have you wishing for a swift and painless death by the time the crescendo rolls around....
Mike Francesa Has A Police Escort To New Orleans For The Super Bowl
The Legend of Mike Francesa continues to grow. Months removed from falling asleep mid-interview and days removed from screwing contestants of his Super Bowl ticket giveaway extravaganza, comes news that the Sports Pope arrived on his flight to New Orleans out of LaGuardia in Queens, N.Y., via police...
Northern Illinois Set Multiple Records For Offensive Futility, But You Wouldn't Know It From The Student Recap
Northern Illinois had a rough go of things yesterday. After a lay-up one minute into the game, the Huskies failed to record another field goal for 24 minutes and 33 seconds. They scored only four points in the first half (a record), shot 13.1% from the field for the game (a record), and went 1-33 f...
Justin Gimelstob Would Like You To Watch The Australian Open Mixed Doubles Final
Former professional tennis player and all-world manly man—as in sex-with-ladies manly man—Justin Gimelstob is at it again (here, "at it again" is open to interpretation, but most likely means "reminding you he is a thing that exists"). Gimelstob is currently an announcer for the Tennis Channel and l...
Tom Brady's New House Literally Has A Moat
Above, Tom Brady's new $20 million California home, which, besides being sunken into what looks like an un-traversable valley, also has a moat—literally, a moat. You can't really see it from the above angle because the massive house is blocking our view, but here's another view, where you can the m...
How To Cook Lobster Tails: A Guide For People Who Don't Have Butlers To Do All The Work
Somewhere along the way, lobster became the symbol of gustatory luxury. You picture your stereotypical Person Of Means sitting down to a feast—me, I always picture olde-tymey plutocrats in top hats and tails, monocled, even the women and babies, because my experience of society's upper class begins ...
Alleged High School Hockey Team Sex Tape Leads To No Consequences, One <em>Jersey Shore</em> Reference
Last Saturday, Minneapolis/St. Paul's City Pages reported that Maple Grove high school, in a suburb of Minneapolis, had suspended much of its hockey team and its head coach for reasons that have gone undisclosed in the intervening week. A source told City Pages the rumor that Maple Grove hockey pla...
The Lawyer For Fred Smoot, Who Double-Donged Two Hookers, Would Like You To Know Smoot Did Not Pee Himself After His DUI Arrest
Yesterday we passed along the news that Fred Smoot, the former cornerback best known for inserting a double-ended dildo into two prostitutes on a Vikings sex cruise, was arrested last month in Washington for a DUI. Among the information in the police affidavit: Smoot urinated down his pants leg whil...
Jets Winger Evander Kane Gets Giant "YMCMB" Shaved Into His Head
You can only be so in touch with hip hop when you play for the Winnipeg Jets. They used to be the Atlanta Thrashers. Winnipeg has a few hip-hoppists fewer than Atlanta. (No, the Thrashers didn't have Atlanta's leading hip-hoppists—Outcast, Wocker Flocker Flame, Ti—there to support them, but they did...
Someone Actually Gave Adrian Peterson An Orange Peanut
In case you missed it last week, Bad Lip Reading put together a pretty funny video dubbing over some NFL players. One of the highlights was Adrian Peterson—full of childlike wonder—asking Pam Oliver for an orange peanut. You can check out that moment here....
<em>Inside The NBA</em> Got A Little Gay-Baity Last Night
During halftime of last night's Clippers-Suns game, the Inside the NBA crew had some fun at the expense of Charles Barkley, who mentioned during the second quarter that he gets his eyebrows waxed. The segment began with a mocking Shaquille O'Neal getting the same treatment, and it quickly devolved...
The New Orleans Hornets Are Officially The New Orleans Pelicans
We've been on board the Pelicans bandwagon from the very beginning, but the team made it official this afternoon. Starting next season, the Hornets are no more (unless the Bobcats become the Hornets. Even then the Pelicans will keep the Hornets' pre-2002 history. It's all very confusing.)...
A History Lesson For Sacramento: How Kansas City Lost The Kings
The owners insisted they had no plans to move the team. That's what the Maloofs swore, raising their right hand as their left hand worked deals with buyers first from Anaheim, then Virginia Beach, then Seattle. And that's what the owners of the Kansas City Kings maintained 30 years ago, even as they...
Who Wants To Go To The Super Bowl With This Awful Human Being?
What's up, ladies? Do you like the Ravens? Would you like a ticket to the Super Bowl? Are you "hot?" Are you open to performing an "HJ/BJ/etc." in exchange for said Super Bowl ticket? Well then, this Craigslist ad is for you!...
The 49ers Will Stick With David Akers For The Super Bowl
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Missed kicks? San Francisco's GM isn't worried....
Delmon Young Can Earn $600,000 In Bonus Money By Not Being A Fat Mess
On Tuesday, the Philadelphia Phillies signed Delmon Young, noted anti-semite and worst player to ever win the ALCS MVP, to a one-year, $750,000 contract. Today, we learned that Young's contract has one very peculiar stipulation. From the AP:...