pe Page 940 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Wizards Could Have Had James Harden, But The Wizards Are Not Allowed To Have Nice Things
Fresh off finishing 20-46 last year, the Wizards decided to take a somewhat unconventional route to respectability: Rather than completely (that is to say, intentionally) tanking, clearing the roster of onerous contracts, and rebuilding through the draft, they opted to take a "win now" approach, by ...

Hockey Player In UK Takes Skate To The Face And HOLY SHIT LOOK AT THAT HUGE CUT BELOW HIS NOSE
Craig Peacock is a 24-year-old forward for the Belfast Giants, a team in Northern Ireland that plays in the UK's Elite Ice Hockey League. We once showed you Peacock and the Giants lip-synching their way through a Mariah Carey Christmas number. But this here is far less joyous. Peacock took a skate t...

Your Monday Night Football Open Thread
Houston at New England (ESPN): This has all the makings for a legitimate barn burner and as they look ahead to next week's matchup, Tirico and Gruden must be doing somersaults. Alas, this game will play out the only way an ostensibly exciting game involving the Patriots can play out: crushing, no-do...

Root For Adrian Peterson, Because Football Is An Asshole
After running for 157 yards against the Bears on Sunday, Adrian Peterson is 506 yards away from breaking the single-season rushing record, something he told SI's Peter King that he is very serious about doing. It's a stretch, but not quite an impossible stretch: Peterson is averaging 123 rushing ya...
![Here's An Unverified Story About Cam Newton Buying Superman Onesie Pajamas [UPDATED]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/187y5xalysd46jpg.jpg)
Here's An Unverified Story About Cam Newton Buying Superman Onesie Pajamas [UPDATED]
Sup, gang. We got this email from a reader a few minutes ago. We're passing it along because, well ... do we really need to explain?:...

ESPN Finally Disavows Its Tebow Coverage: "We Didn't Handle That Very Well"
The New York Jets have three games left to play and despite an unexpected itchy eruption of theoretically possible playoff chances—one game behind whahuh?—they're not a draw going down the stretch. The Chargers-Jets Sunday game on Dec. 23 gets the distinction of being the only game this year that NB...

Ravens Fire Offensive Coordinator Cam Cameron, Because It's His Fault That Kirk Cousins Owned Baltimore
After two straight losses, the Baltimore Ravens have decided to fire offensive coordinator Cam Cameron and promote quarterbacks coach Jim Caldwell, according to the Baltimore Sun. It's no surprise to see a team cut loose a coach to try to shake off a bad spell. But it's a little weird to see the Ra...

The Clippers' Bench Has A New Nickname And It Is So Dumb
It's always fun when a basketball team's bench takes on an identity of its own. Getting to watch a group of guys who are not quite good enough to be starters gel into a cohesive unit of their own adds another layer of excitement to the game, and so it's no surprise people often want to give cool ni...

Stephen Jackson Fined For Threatening Serge Ibaka On Twitter
On Friday night, Thunder forward Serge Ibaka and Lakers forward/crazy person Metta World Peace got into a bit of a tussle. Immediately after the game, Spurs swingman Stephen Jackson sent out the following, since-deleted tweet:...

Your Sunday Night Football Open Thread
Detroit at Green Bay (NBC) : Plenty of things to yak about during this game. For instance: the Packers started the day tied atop the NFC North with the Chicago Bears. With a win tonight they will be all alone after Chicago lost to the Vikings. Lose and they are back tied with the Bears. And oh, God...

Just Like <em>Heaven's Gate</em>: Why Didn't The <em>Lord Of The Rings</em> Series Fail?
Next week, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey opens, setting in motion another Tolkien trilogy from director Peter Jackson that will end in the summer of 2014. Everyone's wondering whether these Hobbit movies can live up to the Lord of the Rings films, whose combination of commercial and critical suc...

How Did The Raiders Sniff Out This Jailbreak Screen? Maybe Because Peyton Manning Audibled To It With "Prison! Prison!"
The Oakland Raiders didn't shut down many Denver Broncos plays last night, as their defense allowed Peyton Manning to go for 310 yards on 26-for-36 passing and were otherwise steamrolled by running back Knowshon Moreno, who put up 119 yards....

Adam Schefter Made Beanie Wells Look Like A Dick Last Night Because He Sucks At Twitter
While watching last night's Broncos-Raiders game, Cardinals running back Beanie Wells sent out the following innocuous tweet, expressing his views on Peyton Manning:...

Fat Chipper Jones Has Divorced His Wife And Is Now Dating <em>Playboy</em> Model Taylor Higgins, AKA Lexi Ray
Leave it to those sleuths of scuzz over at Busted Coverage to make a find like this. Chipper Jones has retired, finalized his divorce from his second wife, and now appears to be dating Taylor Higgins, better known to the world as Lexi Ray or Lexi Ray Taylor, depending on when you might have been loo...

The Last 12 Hours Of Jovan Belcher's Life: What We Know So Far
We're still getting new and revised details about the timeline of events leading up to Jovan Belcher's murder-suicide. Below is everything we know so far, based on a number of media reports, police statements, and other sources. ...

Fuck You, Pelicans Are Awesome: A Defense Of The NBA's Best New Team Name
So it looks like the New Orleans Hornets are going to change their name to become the Pelicans. You look around, and there are a bunch of smartasses making fun of this new name. Oh, a pelican, that's intimidating, they sneer. Well, here's what's up. These people don't know anything about good team n...

The NFL Is Still Holding Back Saturday Football Because The NFL Hates You
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season....
![This Lady Behind The Clippers Bench Was The Only One Unimpressed By Last Night's Performance [UPDATED]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
This Lady Behind The Clippers Bench Was The Only One Unimpressed By Last Night's Performance [UPDATED]
Last night's 112-90 Clippers win over the Mavericks was a performance the AP called "dominating" and one that featured a series of spectacular dunks and lobs—one of which we've already featured this morning....

"... Did Not Meet ESPN Standards For Original Language": ESPN Finally Updates Plagiarized Posts
It has been 148 days since we first informed you of Lynn Hoppes's copy-and-pasting habits. And dear reader, it's over. All it took for ESPN to acknowledge the widespread plagiarism in its archives was for the company's news honcho, John Walsh, to float a rumor in front of a class of journalism stude...

The Redskins Were So Excited That Donald Trump Praised RGIII That They Slapped It On Their Facebook Page
So, everything about this is just powerfully loathsome: Trump's face, the fact that the Redskins are so historically starved for praise that they consider an endorsement from a vitamin-selling pyramid-schemer an important plug, and, oh, right, "You're hired." I think the Redskins just found the only...