pe Page 981 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Metta World Peace Does The Weather
Somewhere, in a parallel universe, the Lakers won the Western Conference last night in a final hurrah for an aging team. Here in this universe, the Lakers are out, the Thunder are moving on, and Metta World Peace is a weatherman in Vancouver....

New Jersey Devils Coach Peter DeBoer Will <em>Not</em> Be Distracted
There's nothing like holding your concentration during the biggest game of your coaching career. Well done, Peter DeBoer. Well done, indeed....

Why Did A Pittsburgh Newspaper Remove A Reference To Sidney Crosby's Contract Demands From Its Website?
Toward the end of a story published Monday about the Penguins' trade with the Capitals for goaltender Tomas Vokoun, the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review did a roundup of the Pens' offseason priorities, including their upcoming negotiations to extend Sidney Crosby's contract, which expires after next season...

Adrian Peterson Is Ranting On Twitter About America's Godlessness
Adrian Peterson is a great, great running back. This we knew. But we never knew before today that the young man was a budding Thomas Aquinas....

The Next Four Jerry Sandusky Jurors All Have Penn State Ties, Including Three University Employees
We remarked yesterday on the difficulty of finding jurors in Centre County, Pa., with no connection to Penn State, and so it has come to pass: Four of the nine picked yesterday have some tie to Penn State or to one of the witnesses likely to be involved. And three of the four chosen this morning (in...

For These Tennis Fans, The Score Is Love-Mouth
Here's a shot from Maria Sharapova's match a few days ago, during which some Roland Garros spectators appear to be engaged in some hanky-panky. Amour!...

Report: Jerry Sandusky Allegedly Wrote "Creepy" Love Letters To At Least One Of His Victims
We know the Jerry Sandusky trial is going to be filled with details that have a pretty high ick factor. So it begins: With much of the attention focused today on the first day of jury selection, ABC News is reporting that when the actual trial begins on Monday, the man known as Victim 4 is expected ...

Catching Up With Victim One Of The Sandusky Trial, Who Transferred Schools After Being Bullied
Esquire's Luke Dittrich went to State College and followed the dramatis personae of the Jerry Sandusky affair. He writes about Joe and Jay Paterno, and catches up with victim one, who's now at a new school but still running track. [Esquire]...
![The Jerry Sandusky Jury Pool: They Are Penn State, Too [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17ov0gcfg0k23png.png)
The Jerry Sandusky Jury Pool: They Are Penn State, Too [UPDATE]
Jerry Sandusky's defense team lost most of its pre-trial motions, but it did score one rather significant victory: The jury is being drawn from Centre County, Pa., a jurisdiction that includes Penn State and former headquarters of The Second Mile, Sandusky's erstwhile charity....

Jonathan Papelbon Found Not Guilty Of Thoughtcrime
Pap’s not mad at you, AAA-callup umpire D.J. Reyburn. He’s just disappointed. Disappointed that you’re so bad at your job. You “probably need to go back to triple A.”...

Twitter Banned From Jerry Sandusky Trial, Which Starts Next Week
Jury selection will begin tomorrow in Jerry Sandusky's trial, after the Pennsylvania Supreme Court denied Lawyerin' Joe Amendola's latest motion to postpone proceedings. That leaves opening arguments on track for next week. But John Cleland, the presiding judge, made a pair of rulings today will hav...

Watch Charlie Manuel Read Phillies Players' Tweets Out Loud
I went to the MLB Fan Cave about a year ago. The place bummed me out. Two aspiring actors—actors, in the sense that they'd be good fits to play Turtle in Entourage: the Musical—sat before a lot of TV screens and Pepsi Max ads. Now I think back on it, there was bottomless Pepsi Max. And Bud Light, in...

Patrice Evra Wipes His "Backside" With A Teammate's Shirt, France Beside Itself
What you see here is, evidently, a grown man and professional athlete wiping his "backside" with a shirt and then sniffing it. This quote, which is being attributed to a Parisian magazine, Le 10 Sport evidences France's apoplexy....

Today In Photograph And Caption Synergy: Caroline Wozniacki Shits A Return
Maybe she had a stomach bug? Maybe she was tired of all the 40-all scores? Whatever the reason, Woz laid a stinker on the court at the French Open today and was ousted by Estonian Kaia Kanepi, 6-1, 6-7 (3-7) 6-3....

Your Saturday Open Thread Smorgasbord
We've got the French Open going on now, and MLB getting under way in a few minutes. The NHL and NBA continue their respective playoffs later tonight. There's also golf. You know the drill, use this space to shoot the shit. Enjoy!...

Michelle Beadle's Final Day At ESPN Included A Licking From Mackerel Jordan
The very first time Deadspin mentioned Michelle Beadle, it was to feature a video of her being eaten by inflatable ZOOperstars mascot Mackerel Jordan. It's fitting, then, her departure from ESPN (a nine minute long staged ceremony that was equal parts sweet and contrived) had her saying goodbyes to...

Immediately After A 38-Shot Rally, One Tennis Player Collapses And The Other Vomits
Richard Gasquet hit an overhead winner to end a 56 second-long point with Grigor Dimitrov in their French Open second round match today. Gasquet promptly threw up his banana and Dimitrov fell to the ground with a severe leg cramp. Dimitrov never quite recovered; Gasquet would take the next three s...

The Mystery Behind DeShawn Stevenson's Kitchen ATM Is Solved
Three days ago, the world was rocked by the Instagrammic revelation that one DeShawn Stevenson of the Brooklyn Nets has what appears to be an ATM in his kitchen. Now, TMZ has finally gotten to the bottom of the mystery of why anyone would possibly want an actual, dive bar-worthy ATM in his house. Th...

This Is The Most Terrifying Girls Lacrosse Photo You Will Ever See
Some piping hot Connecticut girls lacrosse scores to bring you: Darien beat Guilford 15-4 in the first round of the class M state tournament despite their head coach's suspension. (I'm from Guilford and could have told you that would happen—we, like Darien, are an old shoreline town of approximately...

Samantha Steele Mixes Up Her Indian-American Spelling Bee Contestants
After a National Spelling Bee filled with children holding back tears in front of a national audience, the academic equivalent of pageant moms, and every appearance from the wonderfully weird home-schooled girl from Philly, it took ESPN's poor sideline reporter to give us the most cringeworthy mom...