pe Page 985 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Somehow, All But Two Jurors At The Roger Clemens Perjury Trial Have Stayed Awake
This is all you need to know about Roger Clemens's ongoing perjury trial: A second juror was dismissed today for falling asleep—and "one of [the sleepers] predicted that he would," according to ESPN's T.J. Quinn. [ESPN; photo via AP]...

Rick Reilly's Auto-Response To Reader Email Is More Clever Than Rick Reilly's Actual Column
Ever email your constructive criticism to a sportswriter, only to receive a crappy, needlessly hostile response? Forward the emails to us at [email protected], subject: Crap Emails....

Small Girl Runs Big Company: Meet The Charmingly Bold Bianca Caampued
Bianca Caampued, Brooklyn businesswoman, professional party crasher, routine stunt-puller, and sometimes wearer of non-prescription eyeglasses (because why not?), co-founded Small Girls PR back in 2011. It all started when she crashed a random birthday party and was one of the last people dancing—...

Jason Peters Tore His Achilles In The Saddest Way Possible
Eagles lineman Jason Peters ruptured his Achilles tendon in March during a workout. Even though Philly signed a replacement in Demetress Bell, Peters held out hope he could return late in the season. That's not going to happen, after Peters tore the tendon a second time. How it happened? Therein lie...

NHL Network Credits Brad Richards With Giving "2 Shits" In Rangers' Win Over Devils
Never mind what John Tortorella did or didn't say during his postgame presser. It's impossible to win in the Stanley Cup playoffs without all the little things Brad Richards provided in tonight's Game 1 of the Eastern Conference finals. There's just no underestimating what a veteran like Richards br...

Drew Sharp Responds To A Reader: "Does The Little Baby Need A Pacifier?"
Ever email your constructive criticism to a sportswriter, only to receive a crappy, needlessly hostile response? Forward the emails to us at [email protected], subject: Crap Emails....

David Stern Doesn't Really Give A Shit About Flopping
The short answer is, there's no short answer to flopping. It's nearly impossible to legislate intent, except in the most egregious of cases. Soccer has long failed to address even the glaring dives, and the NHL's embellishment penalties are often more controversial than the plays that don't get whis...

Sunday Open Thread Smorgasbord
Lob City's walking wounded are playing now! And Game 1 between the Pacers and Heat follows at 3:30 p.m. Baseball is underway across the land and the Kings and Coyotes face off at 8:00 p.m. Enjoy it all while ignoring your mothers, you jerks....

Andy Pettitte Makes First Start Since Retiring Before The Original Roger Clemens Perjury Trial
Earlier in the week, Jon Heyman wrote something silly about Andy Pettitte not being trustworthy anymore because he said something potentially helpful for Roger Clemens, while being cross-examined by Roger Clemens's lawyer. Never mind that that is kind of the point of cross examination, but why not ...

Three Arkansas Football Players Charged With Burglary In Harebrained Scam For The Ages
The hits just keep coming for the Jeff Long and the Razorbacks athletic department. CBS's Eye On College Football reports that Razorbacks wide receivers Maudrecus Humphrey, Marquel Wade and tight end Andrew Peterson were arrested today and charged with residential burglary....

Here Is Your Saturday Open Thread Smorgasbord
The NBA and NHL playoffs don't get underway until this evening, but there is still TPC Sawgrass, baseball and...this on the sports docket this afternoon: ...

Bryce Harper Needed 10 Stitches After Hitting Himself In The Face With His Bat
The Nationals beat the Reds last night 7-3 so it was really only an afterthought that Bryce Harper beat himself 10-0. After grounding out to second in the seventh inning, "Harper whacked a wall down the tunnel from the Nationals dugout with his bat." The bat then Mike Emricked off the wall and hit ...

Report: Michelle Beadle Is Leaving ESPN For NBC
As expected, it looks like Michelle Beadle is leaving Bristol. Those Guys Have All The Fun author Jim Miller tweeted today that the Beadle "ESPN era is over." It appears she is headed to NBC. Miller said she will serve as co-host for Access Hollywood (alongside Billy Bush), will host a "new show," a...

Everything You Need To Know About Sarah Phillips, Former ESPN Columnist And Social-Media Scammer
Last week, we published a long story about Sarah Phillips, the ESPN columnist who, among other things, used her connections to the Worldwide Leader to hijack a teenager's Facebook venture. The story developed quickly from there, getting progressively more complicated as more tipsters came forward wi...

It Was "Anal Kid Time" At Yankee Stadium Tonight
Reader Tommy went to tonight's Rays-Yanks game in the Bronx tonight, and noticed the captioning board was advertising a very strange event. If you ask me, they're making baseball stadiums way too kid-friendly these days....

A Special Graduation Message To The Class Of 2012
I had a long drive home the night that I found out my son was in grave danger of being born too early. Not long in the sense of distance, but long in an existential way, the way that a minute spent waiting in a dentist's office is far longer than a minute spent hooking up with someone for the first ...

"Singer Michael Bolton Hits Hole-In-One," Writes Man Who Hired Sarah Phillips
That's the latest from ESPN senior Jonas Brothers correspondent and ace talent scout Lynn Hoppes, whom we've met around these parts before. [ESPN]...

For Sale: Bobby Petrino's Wrecked Motorcycle, Needs Some Repair
If you're into making investments you have no chance of recouping, have I got a deal for you. Bobby Petrino's 2007 Harley Davidson, the same one the former Arkansas football coach allegedly crashed while riding with ex-university employee Jessica Dorrell, is up for auction at Copart.com, and while t...

Down And Out In Baseball's Indie Leagues; Or, What Made Tommy John Want To Rake The Infield?
A dispatch from our correspondent with the Bridgeport Bluefish, an unaffiliated team in the Atlantic League....

Shawn Kemp Does Shakespeare
Yes, that's Kemp and Seattle Times columnist Steve Kelley doing a scene from The Taming of the Shrew. The performance was part of a recent fundraiser for the Seattle Shakespeare Company. Kemp gave a stilted reading of his lines the whole way through, but he ad-libbed the last one, and The Bard him...