pie Page 46 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

In The Club With Antonio Pierce
In case you missed it last night, Burress was suspended by the New York Giants and placed on the non-injury football list, costing him about $27 million in unpaid salary (plus fines.) The fact that he is not on an NFL roster may also make it easier for the prosecutors to hit him with that very large...

Breaking!: Plaxico Burress May Have A Sore Leg
An urgent SportsCenter update has just informed the world that Plaxico Burress showed up to work today, less than 24 hours after facing the horrors of central booking at the One Seven. The notorious skel (hey, I've seen NYPD Blue) reported to the Giants training facility this morning, per team rules...

The A-11 Offense Will Revolutionize Football, Make You Dizzy
When Kurt Bryan first introduced the A-11 offense at Piedmont High last season, he was nearly given the classic tar and feathers treatment, with extra tar. Parents didn't understand it, opposing coaches mocked it and his own players feared it, and those were the positive aspects. And when the Highla...

New White Sox Danger: Shaving Cream Pies to the Face
And you thought Ozzie Guillen was all the White Sox had to fear in the locker room. Backup catcher Toby Hall is recovering after Jermaine Dye blocked his attempted pie to the face. Does anyone ever wonder where all these pies come from in baseball locker rooms? How many times have you had extra pie...

Downward Facing Dog FTW!
Because National Public Radio is into recherche subjects like competitive yoga, one of their correspondents filed a story from a yoga dojo (yeah, I know that's not the right term, they're actually yoga studios *sniffs own fart* but that's froufrou) in Oregon that is at the leading edge of competiti...

Paul Pierce Is One DUI Away From Becoming Carmelo Anthony
Come on. It's the NBA Finals. Only two teams should be relevant at this point. And since you can't walk three steps without sniffing the history of the Lakers-Celtics rivalry, you'd hope that someone would talk a little jive toward the other. It probably wouldn't be sportsmanlike, but it's definitel...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while keeping your opinions to yourself......

The Truth Really <em>Does</em> Hurt. Just Ask LeBron and The Cavaliers
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who watched some legendary basketball yesterday. When he's not being really freaking impressed by Paul Pierce and LeBron James, he can be found being...really freaking impressed by Paul Pierce and Lebron James at Basketbawful. Enjoy!...

Scott Spiezio Continues To Drown In Boozy River Of Sadness
Former major leaguer Scott Spiezio's tumultuous battle with alcoholism has been marred by some ugly incidents. But even though the 35-year-old Spiezio had some extremely heavy baggage, the Atlanta Braves took a flyer on the guy, hoping he could get his life together and earn a spot on the Braves ros...

Gee, Your New Rule Smells Terrific
There's now a proposal — by, surprisingly, the Kansas City Chiefs — to ban long hair in the NFL next season. The owners will consider it at their meetings in Palm Beach, Fla., next week, because, you know, all the major prblems with the league have been solved. The Steelers' Troy Polamalu is waiting...

Felix Pie's Minor Surgery, No Big Deal, Nothing To See Here
The sad saga of Felix Pie took a new twist yesterday, and we're sorry we just used that punnish metaphor and actually have doubled over in our chair and are fighting off dry heaves....

Felix Pie Out With A YEEEEEEEOOOOOOWWWW
The Cubs have suffered a spate of unfortunate and somewhat bizarre injuries already this spring. Alfonso Soriano has a fractured finger. Jose Ascanio had a bruised face after getting punched in a robbery attempt. Mark DeRosa was hospitalized with an irregular heartbeat. But none has a painful tale a...

Beijing Olympics To Be Devoid Of Dramatic Closeups, Mechanical Sharks
Bad news for all those who actually watch the opening and closing ceremonies at the Summer Olympics; Steven Spielberg has dropped out as director at the Beijing Games. Or actually he was going to be the "artistic adviser," whatever that means. All I know is that now my dream of watching Dennis Weave...

Gentlemen, Start Your Puppies
Want your fill of barking, chewing and indiscriminate pooping that doesn't involve a night out with Najeh Davenport? Then gather your Scooby Snacks and settle in for Puppy Bowl IV; the only part of Super Bowl Week that lives up to the hype. The starting lineups were announced this morning, and once ...

Smith Street (NSFW)
This is AJ Daulerio's final Cultural Oddsmaker for Deadspin. Email him to let him know what you think....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while... *smoosh*... • 7:45 p.m. — NCAA Football: Pittsburgh at West Virginia. I can't imagine any disturbances occurring in Morgantown after the game, regardless of the outcome. [ESPN] • 8:00 p.m. — NCAA Football: Big XII Champeenship, Missouri vs. Oklahoma. It's mullet vs. saucepan. ...

It's Almost As If NBA Players Aren't That Discerning In Their Groupie Choices
Our friends at Gawker occasionally record random TV shows during the week, and they came across this episode of "Tyra." Apparently this is a show....

Green Day
All of this talk about the Boston Celtics setting an NBA record for wins in a season has me a little disoriented; seeing that they've only played six games, and Scot Pollard and Leon Howe are on their roster. Could Boston actually best the 1995-96 Bulls' NBA-best record of 72-10? It's ludicrously ea...

Don Shula Will Assign You An Asterisk And You Will Wear It
We knew there was something missing from the NFL season: An asterisk controversy. Of course. Well let's get right to it. Don Shula — who coached the 1972 Miami Dolphins to the only unbeaten season in NFL history — says that the Patriots should get an asterisk if they finish 19-0 this season....