pie Page 48 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
"Dad, I'm Totally Gonna Get You For This Someday"
Since the Home Run Derby on Monday night, we've been trying to track down a photo of Chicago White Sox catcher A.J. Pierzynski and the horror he subjected his daughter to. And now that we've found it ... we can't quite put our finger on why it fills us with such dread....
Mariotti Now Universally Acclaimed As Lazy, Slobbish, Gassy
It's tough to decide whom to dislike more: White Sox catcher AJ Pierzynski or Chicago Sun-Times and "Around The Horn" gasbag Jay Mariotti. Particularly if you're a Cubs fan. After the big interleague tussle last weekend, Pierzynski was on "Pardon The Interruption" yesterday and went after Mariotti...
Revisiting The Chicago Bitch Slap
Clearly, there are not many people out there who feel bad about A.J. Pierzynski getting punched in the face. Sporlitics thanks Michaell Barrett for "doing something the rest of the world has wanted to do for a long, long time." They also provide a brief list of reasons why Pierzysnki deserved to b...
Look, Everybody! Drunk Athlete Photos!
We haven't checked in with the lovely ladies of On The DL for a while ... so it's probably that time. Why not? It's the Web! It's fun! It's the Wild West! Weee!!!...
One Lousy Opening Day
You think you had a bad day yesterday? Dodgers starter Derek Lowe, inexplicably starting on Opening Day, was hammered by the Braves. And when the game was over, he had to go home and read transcripts of divorce proceedings spread all over the Internet. They were initially posted by the subscriptio...
Sports Bras Of An Entirely Different Nature
The Japanese are just so far ahead of us in their ability to turn seemingly innocent things into something naughty. First Hello Kitty, and now this. Our national pasttime has become a theme for their undergarments. I have some baseball glove conditioning oil, and I'm willing to help break it in....
Gilbert Arenas Can't Stop Shooting
Via Mr. Irrelevant, we present this picture of Wizards guard Gilbert Arenas, who had a rather nuts battle with Boston's Paul Pierce last night. (Pierce hit a game-winning shot at the buzzer.)...
Mo Vaughn, Still Pickin' 'Em Up And Settin' 'Em Down
We always liked former Red Sox first whaleman Mo Vaughn, if just because of his always-refreshing honest about where he spent his spare time: strip clubs. (We'll just say reporters always knew where to find him when they needed a quote.)...
Today In The Premiership...
• Arsenal 7-0 Middlesbrough. Holy Lord. 7-0? Did they let Arsenal use their hands? Man, there's real chance that Arsenal outscores the Chicago Bears this weekend. In fact, Thierry Henry might outscore the Bears himself, as he scored three of the seven....
The Ladies Love Fennis Dembo
True Hoop and End Of The Bench have one of those stories that they just knew we weren't going to be able to resist: Rampant groupie sex, in Detroit, in the late '80s. We mean, come on. That's bait, catnip....
Culpepper: Lap Dances? Who, Me?
We don't want to overstate — and it probably won't happen, anyway — but if Vikings sex boat gods Daunte Culpepper and Bryant McKinnie get their way, we might be in for the real trial of the century....
The Real Reason For Manny's Trade Demand
We've heard all the rumors too, and Red Sox blogger Sheriff Sully finally puts the cards on the table: One of the main reasons Manny Ramirez is seeking a trade from the Red Sox, say the rumors, because his wife wants him out of Boston because of "temptations of infidelity." Says the Sheriff Sully ...
Fred Smoot Is Depressed
Well, here's a surprise: Vikings cornerback Fred Smoot has had a little different first year with the Vikings than he initially thought he would. (Not to be crude, but, uh, "holding a double-headed dildo and moving the dildo while each end was inserted into the vagina of two women" is a phrase tha...
The Vikings Meet The Seventh Floor Crew
Sometimes, someone comes up with a concept that's so perfectly in our sweet spot that we can merely stand up and salute, and that's really saying something, because we spend the whole day on our ass....
Your Takes On The Sex Boat Wrapup
We love doing this site, but, to be honest, what we might love the most are you, the readers. Your comments are the highlights of our days, and not just because you're funnier than we are. We thought we'd take this opportunity to showcase our personal favorite slices of hilarity from today's earli...
The Full Report On The Sex Boat
So, hey, anybody else actually dug into these whole Vikings criminal complaints, the ones The Smoking Gun grabbed? If you haven't yet, we suggest you do, because it's even more entertaining than you thought. But, we understand, you're very busy at work today. So allow us to help you out. We've dug...
Sex Boat Case Sails Off
It's a sad day when you can't take your rookie teammates out for a little Lake Minnetonka party with a bunch of whores. This goddamned Internet is invading everybody's privacy....
Jim Edmonds, Gold LOVER
We've been so caught up with lesbian cheerleaders and fake press conferences — both of which, just to wrap all this up, we'll be checking back with later today — that we forgot to check in with the great On The DL girls this week. We're sorry, ladies! We still have nothing but love....
Don't Forget About The Sex Cruise!
While the rest of us sully our filthy little minds with stories of lesbian cheerleaders, The Mighty MJD is keeping his eyes on the prize of the whole Vikings sex boat story. (How quickly we forget ...)...
Your Vikings Orgy Memento
The bid is only up to $5.95, and, quite frankly, we find that number unacceptable. Currently on eBay: a commemorative Vikings sex cruise T-shirt, or, as the sellers call it, the "Coochie Cruise '05."...