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The Premier League Needs More Bastards Like Diego Costa
It takes a certain type of person to start an argument with a person who can't even understand what they're saying. But with Chelsea leading 3-1 at Everton with a little over 20 minutes to play, a goal already to his name, that's what Diego Costa did....

How To Make Pasta With Leeks And Prosciutto, While There's Still Time
Oh shit, dinner is still A Thing. It exists. Disaster. This is you, creeping incrementally homeward in the transportation gridlock of your locale and mode of transit, flop-sweaty and wild-eyed like John Lithgow on the airplane, doing a frantic mental inventory of the nigh-barren refrigerator wa...

Manchester United's Luke Shaw Is The Next Gareth Bale, Even If He's Not
This summer, Manchester United bought left back Luke Shaw from Southampton for £30 million. Luke Shaw is 19 years old. If you're not familiar with soccer's transfer fees, that is a staggering amount of money for a teenager. It's more than the fee paid for Wayne Rooney, another English talent of grea...
![Protestor Invades Goodell Presser, Screaming About An Elevator [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Protestor Invades Goodell Presser, Screaming About An Elevator [UPDATE]
How well is Roger Goodell's presser going today? A screaming protestor, fearful that he might have to go into an elevator, interrupted it. ...

McDonald's Is Poisoning iPhone-Line Denizens With Food From McDonald's
Man, Apple customers get all the free shit lately. ...

This Russian Soccer Brawl Goes From 0 To 100 Real Quick
As more proof that there's nothing Russians don't think would be improved by spontaneous kickboxing bouts, here's a video of two youth soccer teams fucking each other up after only the slightest provocation....

Falcons-Buccaneers Highlights, As Called By Wrestling Legend Jim Ross
Atlanta beat Tampa Bay 56-14 tonight in a rout one might charitably call a "slobberknocker." As befitting any time a team gets truly embarrassed on the field of play, we've taken great calls from wrestling legend Jim Ross and applied them to tonight's highlights. Take it away, J.R.!...

A Gentleman's Guide To Sex In Prison
When I tell people that I recently finished serving a 10-year prison sentence for armed robbery, mostly in maximum-security facilities, I often feel a question lingering in the air. The moment I sense it, I try to respond to the awkward silence in some offhanded way, though it is hard to be blithe...

Friday Night Lights
Longform has been killin' it these days. Yesterday, they reprinted this classic from Buzz Bissinger:...

What's The Matter With Jim Brown?
Originally published in the December 1986 edition of Sport magazine, as part of a special 40th anniversary issue devoted to "The 40 Who Changed Sports." This story is a good analytical companion to Pete Dexter's insane 1981 profile of Brown, reprinted here last week ....

Angry Ukrainian Mob Throws Politician Into A Dumpster
An angry mob was waiting outside of Ukraine's parliament today, and they were not playing games. When they spotted Economic Development Party member Vitaly Zhuravsky leaving the building, they grabbed him and threw his ass right into a dumpster....

The Eagles Know How To Use Darren Sproles
LeSean McCoy had a perfectly fine game against the Colts, pulling off a few jukes in open space that left jockstraps all over Lucas Oil Stadium, but the best Eagles running back last night was Darren Sproles. He made everyone wonder why the Saints let him go for a fifth-rounder....

How To Handle A Repo: Chapter 1 Of Elmore Leonard's <em>Unknown Man No. 89</em>
Elmore Leonard had been writing for 22 years when his agent, the legendary H.N. Swanson, told him to read George V. Higgins's seminal crime novel about the Boston underworld, The Friends of Eddie Coyle. This was in 1972; Leonard was 46. He'd worked in advertising and written westerns—stories and ...

Even Bank Robbers Decide What Tie To Wear: The Essence Of Elmore Leonard
Hard to imagine having a cooler job than the one Gregg Sutter had for more than 30 years, when he served as the late Elmore Leonard's researcher. Sutter is the editor of the Library of America's Elmore Leonard anthology, which will be released in three volumes, the first of which was published a f...

Colin Kaepernick Was The Most Disastrous Quarterback In Week 2
Colin Kaepernick had an awful game Sunday night throwing three interceptions, fumbling once, and getting sacked four times. Sometimes, broad game stats can mask situational competence, but not here. According to data from Brian Burke of Advanced Football Analytics, Kaerpernick's interception at th...

How Is This Photo Of Nicki Minaj's Allegedly Fake Butt Not A Photoshop?
Some people think this is a fake butt. Others thought it was a photoshop, but the photo is from the Getty wire, which is not where you usually find conspiracy-driving photoshops. It doesn't look especially physiologically possible, one way or another. ...

Why Did Colin Kaepernick Receive An "Inappropriate Language" Penalty?
After throwing his second interception of the night against the Bears, 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick was flagged for a 15-yard penalty for "inappropriate language." Kaepernick is the first player to be hit with a penalty of this sort, and while nobody's sharing exactly what Kaepernick said, it'...

Philip Rivers's Helmet Pays Tribute To The Only Center He's Ever Known
If you're wondering about the No. 61 on the back of Philip Rivers's helmet today—and a surprising number of you are—know that the Chargers QB didn't grab the wrong helmet; it's a tribute to Rivers's center for the last decade, who may never play another game....

Insidious Hypotheticals: A Guide to Ignoring the NFL Today
So, here's the question, and it's a good one:...

Is Manchester United's Newest Savior A Fraud?
Last summer, Colombian striker Radamel Falcao arrived in Monte Carlo as AS Monaco's new signing and savior from Atlético Madrid, wearing a jacket and shirt combination that all but summed up his brief time on the Côte d'Azur. With the beautiful French Riviera in the background, the salmon jacket, ...