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![Cubs Fan's Scoreboard Marriage Proposal Runs While His Girlfriend's In The Bathroom [Non-Pooping Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17uj6w0geatsgpng.png)
Cubs Fan's Scoreboard Marriage Proposal Runs While His Girlfriend's In The Bathroom [Non-Pooping Update]
Poor Greg. All that money, time and emotional torture that went in to taking out a scoreboard message at yesterday's Cubs game asking his girlfriend to marry him. And then, after a half-hour long bottom of the fifth, just as the proposal was set to run, the girlfriend leaves her seat. (Perhaps she w...

The Controversial Olympic Fencing Semifinal, Recreated Using Legos
Yesterday, we showed you the bizarre aftermath of the women's individual épée semifinal, which was won by Germany's Britta Heidemann after a timing error put another second on the clock and allowed Heidemann to score a decisive touch on South Korea's Shin A Lam. Shin then proceeded to remain on the ...

Where Are They Still Making Kobe Bryant Rape Jokes? <em>WWE Raw</em>
With all the debate surrounding whether rape jokes are appropriate, we're kind of amazed this made it to air. Here's a segment from last night's WWE Raw in which Abraham Washington—manager to Titus O'Neil—lauds the strength of his wrestler by claiming "He's like Kobe Bryant in a hotel in Colorado....

<em>Total Recall</em> Is a Lot Dumber Than You Remember
The remake of Total Recall — which features Colin Farrell as Arnold Schwarzenegger, Kate Beckinsale as Sharon Stone, Jessica Biel as Rachel Ticotin and Bryan Cranston as "Cohaagen give these people some air!" — opens a week from today. The original Total Recall came out in 1990, right on the edge of...

SMU Player's House Burglarized By Prostitute He Refused To Pay
This happened way back in April, the night of the Mustangs' end-of-season banquet, but the police report is just surfacing now. Three SMU players returned to their off-campus home after the fancy dinner, only to find that someone had stolen $3,000 worth of laptops, televisions and video games. One o...

Famous People Trying To Be Funny. <em>The Watch</em>, Reviewed.
The Watch is The Avengers of comic superstar movies, if the Avengers decided they didn't really want to work together and looked sorta annoyed occupying the same story. The movie stars Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, and Jonah Hill, and it's rare to see a film in which so many big names seem to be operat...

Guy Sues Cris Carter Because Cris Carter Allegedly Took A Bunch Of His Money And Didn't Record The Rap Song He Was Promised
The market's not what it once was. Back in the 90s and 2000s, we were promised pain-free growth. Stick that money in Sun, son, and watch it inflate. Now the times are hard. One must turn to unconventional investment opportunities. "Emerging markets," as they say in the business. Markets such as rap ...

Why Your Team Sucks 2012: Seattle Seahawks
Some people are fans of the Seattle Seahawks. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Seattle Seahawks. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here....

How Penn State Could Have Fought The NCAA And Won
The NCAA dropped those "unprecedented" punishments on Penn State on Monday, and they're mighty. There's the usual—scholarship cuts, probation, bowl bans, vacated wins, a fine—but amplified to heretofore unseen levels....

Why Your Team Sucks 2012: St. Louis Rams
Some people are fans of the St. Louis Rams. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the St. Louis Rams. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here....

Superman, Drunk Girls, And <em>Life of Pi</em>: Let's Look At Some Movie Trailers!
In this installment of Trailer Hitch, our semi-regular rundown of the biggest recent movie trailers, I've got a superhero flick, a broad comedy, a couple Oscar contenders, and a dance movie. Who says Hollywood only caters to one type of audience? Also, I would love to meet the person who is really e...

The Million Dollar Man Has No Time For Your Hangover: More Wrestler Run-Ins
Inspired by the saga of "Wrestling Superstar Virgil," we continue with readers' encounters with the titans of the squared circle. If you've had your own run-in with wrestlers past or present, e-mail us, subject line "Virgilbag."...

Yes, Theo Epstein's Accused Stalker Wore A Red Sox Shirt To Her Mental Competency Hearing
The Harvard-educated crazy lady who showed up in Chicago last week on Cubs GM Theo Epstein's doorstep can't sue us for calling her "crazy lady," it turns out. Kathleen Kearney was named a ward of the state of Massachusetts nine years ago because of mental illness, and she was released on bond in Ill...

Nostradamus On Paterno (The Town In Sicily): "Flee Oh, Flee ... The Dreaded Pestilence!"
There is a new translation of Nostradamus's The Prophecies, the text that when read just so manages to predict everything from 9/11 to the rise of the Kennedys (and whose contents were the subject of roughly 98 percent of all emails forwarded from AOL accounts between 1998 and 2004). In a review on ...

Olympic Sprinters Will Be Running Not Only For Gold, But For These Frigging Adorable Baby Cheetahs
Today, the National Zoo in Washington, D.C. officially unveiled their two new cheetah cubs. The ridiculously cute fluffballs don't have names yet—the zoo is waiting on the Olympics. The three-month-old cubs will be named after the top American finishers in the men's and women's 100 meters. So, Justi...

Pac-12 Football In A Nutshell: Reporter Addresses Coach By Name Of Guy Who Left Ten Years Ago
After the madness of SEC Media Days, the other FBS conferences' pre-season football bazaars tend to be a bit more understated. That doesn't mean there aren't occasional weird moments, like earlier today at the Big 12 media day when Oklahoma State coach Mike "I'm a man! I'm 40!" Gundy was interrupt...

<em>Killer Joe</em> Is the Most Amoral, Repugnant, Fantastic Movie You'll See All Year
About three-quarters of the way through Killer Joe, the terrific and cheerfully evil film opening this Friday, Matthew McConaughey pointedly, if seemingly absently, picks up a chicken leg from a bucket of KFC. You might not realize it at the time, but this is the Chekov's Gun of chicken legs. This i...

Nashville Matches Shea Weber Offer Sheet, Remains Viable NHL Franchise
When Philadelphia surprised everyone by giving Predator defenseman a 14-year, $110 million offer sheet, we were awed by Paul Holmgren's balls and savvy, and sad for Nashville fans, most of whom are actually quite devoted (there's just not enough to of them to, you know, make the team profitable.) We...

Ricky Williams's Foundation For At-Risk Kids Has Been Taken Over By A Rasputin-Inspired Cult
The Ricky Williams Foundation was started "to be instrumental in the physical, mental, emotional and educational development of at-risk individuals from low social-economic communities." You wouldn't expect anything less from Ricky Williams, by all accounts one of the nicest, most genuine guys in fo...

Martin Prado Swings, Misses, Stumbles, Falls On His Ass
No one's going to remember that Martin Prado drew a walk to lead off what turned out to be a scoreless seventh for the Braves last night. What they will remember is the pure slapstick gold that ensued after Prado whiffed at the third pitch he saw from Mike Dunn, complete with the real-life laugh tra...