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Who Owns "Evil Empire"? The Yankees Launch A Proxy War For Control
Bridgehampton, N.Y., out on the East End of Long Island, is Red Sox territory. The bars along Main Street are decked out in red and will only show Yankees games if there's nothing else on. TVs receive the Hartford network affiliates. Carl Yastrzemski was born on a nearby potato farm and still holds ...

Roger Clemens Handed Out Some Souvenirs At His Trial
It's been a month since a mistrial was declared in Roger Clemens' perjury case, and yet the misconduct just won't end. A group of court security guards are under investigation for accepting signed baseballs from Clemens, which is not a thing that is ok....

Chelsea Embraces The Prawn Sandwich Brigade
This isn't just an advertisement for the most succulent amuse-bouche you've ever seen. It's also Chelsea being more self-aware than we though possible....

Your Preseason Monday Night Football Open Thread: Jets-Texans
It's the first Monday Nighter of the nascent NFL season. Oh, right: It doesn't count. But so what? It's football. If you're watching, consider this your invitation to chat about it in the comments....

A Definitive Taxonomy Of Pro Wrestling Gimmicks
This intensely detailed poster is something of a throwback to a more theatrical time, when wrestling champions went by monikers more descriptive than Randy and Alberto. You can almost see the WWE's early 90s dartboard naming process at work. "An evil...dentist. A fighting...garbage man." [Pop Chart ...

Broncos Kicker Charged Criminally With DUI, Morally With Ditching A Strip-Club Worker In A Hotel Lobby
Word out of Denver this morning indicated that Broncos kicker Matt Prater was charged with drunkenly backing his Chevy TrailBlazer into a silver sedan parked outside of a Hyatt Suites in Greenwood Village last week. Witnesses reported the driver then went into the hotel, which is where things get s...

Stories That Don't Suck: SportsFeat's Guide To Funny People (And Chris Farley)
Every Friday, SportsFeat picks a few great weekend reads for Deadspin. This week we're chipping in with our favorite long-form writing about comedians....

The Hidden Message Of That Andover Rap Video
The Andover rap video that made the rounds this week is tacky and annoying, yeah, but to those of us who went to the school, there's more to it than the saccharine entitlement on the surface. When my class graduated from Andover two years ago, we marveled and fretted about the place: The kids are ...

Your NFL Preseason Games Open Thread
And so it begins, with the "games" for which ownership demands you pay full ticket price to ensure regular-season attendance, but they're not really games at all. They're practice sessions at which understudies replace the stars just after the performance begins. If not before that....

Science! Picks Your BCS Champion
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: The Predictalator is back, determining the participants and outcomes of every Bowl game....

Okay Easton PR Guy, You Win
Perhaps you've seen "Ultimate Batting Practice" around this week; it's a full fledged viral video now. You'll recognize it by the egregious sodomy of physics, and the prominently-displayed dual Easton logos. It's a "dude" making magic with four pitchback rebounders, and that's all the info that come...

Today In Great Coach Quotes
"If you want a Savile Row suit, you pay Savile Row prices, but you can still put a suit on your back from Tesco's... It would be unfair to expect the Tesco man to look as good as the Savile Row man." [West Brom manager Roy Hodgson on the team's bankroll, via Yahoo! Sport]...

The Most Dangerous Job In Sports Entertainment Is Hiring
Above is (part 1 of) a compilation of wrestlers going through the WWE Spanish broadcast table. That poor plywood table, and to a lesser extent the actual announcers, have become a part of WWE mythology. Carlos Cabrera and Hugo Savinovich have had Mick Foley in their laps more than Mrs. Foley has....

D.A.R.E. Cop Busted For DUI, Blames His Dog
Here's to you, Officer John Newcomb of Seymour, Ind. You knew you it'd be difficult talking your way out of (allegedly) sideswiping a parked car and hitting a tree with the department's Drug Abuse Resistance Education trailer hitched to your pickup. So, you told police you were "distracted by [your...

Noted Chubby Quarterback Makes Widely Derided Prediction
Rex Grossman is the No.1 quarterback on the Redskins' depth chart. I know that means close to absolute zero in the long term, but c'mon: read that first sentence again....

Dolphins Linebacker Channing Crowder Retires At 27 To Spend More Time With His Own Crazy Thoughts: A Tribute
Miami released Crowder, its trash-talking linebacker, two weeks ago, and Crowder decided to retire today....

Finally, Hulk Hogan Addresses The London Riots
Hulk Hogan joined Richard Bacon on BBC Radio 5 today, and a weary nation eagerly awaited the comforting words of the Hulkster. If the 24-inch pythons can't get those looters to settle down and shape up, nothing can....

Stay The Hell Away From Rehabbing Stephen Strasburg, You Mongrels, Minor League Team Tells Press
You may think it's Strasmas in August for the scribes of Hagerstown, Maryland, but you'd be wrong. Dead wrong....

Your Hall Of Fame Induction Ceremony Open Thread
Tonight, Richard Dent, Marshall Faulk, Chris Hanburger, Les Richter, Ed Sabol, Deion Sanders and Shannon Sharpe will be inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame. Good for them....

These Deadbeat Parents Fell For The Old "Free Tickets To The Iron Bowl" Trick
The Lee County Sheriff's Office in Opelika, Ala. took a creative approach to rounding up a few parents who'd fallen way behind in their child support payments: they told them they'd won free tickets to the annual Iron Bowl, and then they arrested them when they came to collect on the prize. It's l...