Premier League Page 15 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
This Feels Like The End Of Tottenham's Golden Age
It was all so good just four months ago. Back then, Tottenham were in the midst of their best Champions League run ever, beating Manchester City and Ajax on consecutive last-second magic tricks and getting ready to face Liverpool in the final. What a difference four months can make. ...
Manchester United Are The New Old Liverpool
It’s been so bad for so long that it’s time to stop worrying about when or whether it would happen and just admit that it already has: Manchester United have Liverpool’d themselves....
Leicester City Are For Real Again
When Leicester City won the Premier League title in 2016, it felt like an accident. Sure, they had N’Golo Kanté, Riyad Mahrez, and Jamie Vardy, but outside of those three, Leicester weren’t a team full of great players. Rather, they had a good system that worked to perfection long enough to complete...
Bernardo Silva Does A Racism Oopsie, Pep Guardiola Makes It Worse
What do you get when you mix an obscenely racist Spanish candy, a well-meaning but ill-advised joke tweet between Premier League teammates, and a manager who clearly doesn’t know anything about the history of racist imagery? Well, you get a racism scandal perfectly suited for 2019, with only a bag o...
The Premier League Is Finally As "Bad" As La Liga
It’s more than a little ironic that the definitive proof that the Premier League truly is as comprehensively and inarguably supreme as its fanboys have long contended it to be has come in the exact form many of those same fanboys shitted on Spain for back when La Liga was top dog....
Nutty Blackmail Plot Involves "Well-Known" Premier League Player Jumping Out Hotel Window Mid-Booty Call
When one Premier League player, whose name is being protected by the authorities, walked into Natalie Wood’s hotel room last year and began to undress, he must’ve believed he was only in for another night of fun and sex with the woman for whom he’d been cheating on his partner. Instead, before the p...
Manchester City Unable To Overcome The Irrepressible Might Of Norwich City
In what could end up being the most stunning upset of season, recently-promoted Norwich City took down defending Premier League champions on Saturday, 3-2. The result came on the back of a stellar performance from Norwich’s Finnish veteran Teemu Pukki and a putrid display from City’s two center halv...
We Can Now Add Jadon Sancho To The List Of Great Players Arsène Wenger "Almost" Signed
The only thing former Arsenal manager Arsène Wenger likes to talk about more than the philosophical implications of life as a soccer manager is all the players he claims he narrowly missed out on signing. The latest addition to this nearly infinite list of Almost Gunners is former Manchester City ac...
Liverpool And Manchester City Still Reign Supreme
The start of a new season offers all the promise of a blank slate. Onto this yet untouched slab, our imaginations can run wild carving any conceivable array of results and events, thrillingly unconstrained by anything other than our own whims and predictions. However, though we are just three matche...
Never Forget That Fernando Torres Was A Force Of Nature Before He Was A Meme
It has been a while since Fernando Torres was something other than a melancholic presence on the soccer field. The man nicknamed El Niño—who played for Atlético Madrid, Liverpool, Chelsea, AC Milan, and Atlético again before retiring on Thursday at Japanese club Sagan Tosu—saw the arc of his career ...
Manager Ascends To New Level Of Consciousness, Makes Completely Logical Connection Between The Handball Rule And Brexit
The modern discourse is a never-ending cascade of Expanding Brain memes. Everyone plays their part, and when Deadspin is doing its job well, we provide takes that belong to one of the latter panels, ones hopefully more sophisticated than this but less out-there than this. Proving that our angle on t...
Banger King Rúben Neves Scores The First Great Goal Of The Premier League Season
One of the best ongoing statistical oddities in English soccer is that Wolverhampton Wanderers youngster Rúben Neves has never scored for the club from inside the penalty box in open play. Heading into Monday’s game against Manchester United, the 22-year-old Portuguese midfielder had 12 goals for Wo...
The New Handball Rule Is The Cold, VAR Is Cancer
For the second time in as many weeks of the new Premier League season, the biggest story from the weekend was another ruinously stupid imposition of VAR. The only thing more tiring than having to write the umpteenth anti-VAR post is having to witness video replay poison this wonderful sport from wee...
VAR Once Again Steals A Game-Winning Goal From Manchester City
Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: Manchester City were on the verge of pulling out a late victory against Tottenham at home, and then VAR stepped in to take it away....
VAR Is Turning Everyone Into Cops
The opening weekend of the Premier League season was in some ways bittersweet—the sweetness provided by the return of the best league in the world, the bitterness from the sad end of England’s noble resistance to the scourge of VAR. To anyone expecting to witness the inherently corrosive effects of ...
Pep Guardiola Lauds New Signing Rodri For Not Having Tattoos Or Earrings
Manchester City signed Spanish midfielder Rodri this past summer from Atletico Madrid for a club record £62.8m fee. Since then, Pep Guardiola has been heaping praises upon the 23-year-old, telling BBC Sport that he’s become more and more convinced the player will be one of the club’s best signings a...
Naked Idiot On The Field Rings In The New Premier League Season With A Dong
After a short summer break, the Premier League is back. Liverpool hosted Norwich City in the first match of the season today in a game that featured five goals, several wondrous feats of athleticism, and one pitch invader who made it onto the field just long enough to show the world his dick and ass...
This Is Still Manchester City's Premier League
Do you feel that? That’s the oncoming rush of another Premier League season, which officially kicks off on Friday. After the greatest title race in league history last season, the Premier League could have a worthy sequel on its hands. League runners-up Liverpool returned all the important parts of ...
The Start Of The Premier League Means The Start Of Manager-Sacking Season
The Premier League begins Friday. By Sunday, at least one manager will be rumored to be in trouble “if results do not improve.”...
Which Premier League Teams Are Good And Which Are Shit?
Everyone has probably had some version of the dream before: naked in class, unprepared for a final exam, publicly humiliated by Jennifer Connelly in a crowded restaurant (this may just be me), tasked with running away from or catching up to something only to find that your feet have turned into cara...